Have you ever ghosted someone? Do you do it regularly? Why do you do it?
Let's talk about it!
I was ghosted many times when I was dating. Sometimes it would be early in the process, before even meeting, and sometimes after a couple weeks dating, or longer. It's one thing that has fascinated me, and made my head tilt to the side on more than one occasion. I think there are many reasons people do it, and I think it's terribly interesting to dissect these behaviours.
In the early stages, before meeting, I think there's no obligation to officially end anything, but a common courtesy to alert that person that you intend not to continue contact.
The best friend of my man is on dating sites, and in the past few months, we've had chats about the way this man has blown it with women. He either ghosts, or he does something to ruin any developing relationship, often by conscious choice. He was chatting with a woman for a week or more, and yesterday, began his descent into ghosting this woman. According to my bf, he's not lacking confidence in general, or with women. He's a successful, smart guy. Divorced several years.
My bf read me the texts he sent, detailing his ghosting plan over the next day or so, leading up to what was supposed to be the first date. Why not just say, "Hey girl, I've changed my mind, I don't really care to meet after all..."
This guy in particular, I think is not genuinely interested in a relationship. It seems like he's making a half-asssed attempt at dating to satisfy some sort of perceived social obligation to do so. He seems perfectly happy on his own really. It doesn't seem to be boredom. Despite my bf's assessment, I do think there's some low self-esteem at play. It doesn't seem to be some sort of conquest to get their attention to feed his ego...I think it's interesting that he (and I suspect MANY other men and women) spend their time doing this, over and over again, with such intention.
Why do you ghost? Do you fear an ugly response from that person if you tell them you've lost interest?
Did you ever truly intend to meet?
Have you been ghosted? How does it make you feel?
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