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Holidays and new relationships

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  • Holidays and new relationships

    I know that every single couple approaches this topic, as well as their relationship, at their own pace. Since it's the holiday season in America, I'd love to hear your experiences, thoughts and preferences on when to invite a new romantic partner to a family holiday. What would you be comfortable with?

    A family member of mine invited his girlfriend of around 2 months to our get-together. My SO and I were hosting, and I'd told him he could invite her if he wanted to. He'd told me as recently as a week prior that he "likes" her, but really didn't have any feelings for her beyond that. So, it was a 2-day event, and things went well. She seems completely smitten with him, while his body language indicated to me that he was rather indifferent.

    What is customary in your family?
    Would you invite someone to a family holiday when you really weren't all that invested?
    Would you attend a family event with someone you hardly know?

  • Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
    A family member of mine invited his girlfriend of around 2 months to our get-together.
    since they are girlfriend/boyfriend it seems okay
    if girlfriend wasn't invited, she'd feel hurt


    • I'm an only child, my kids are too young to invite anyone for the holidays, and my older relatives have been married for decades at this point, so I don't have much experience with this. That being said, I brought my now-ex-husband to my family's Christmas after we'd been dating for six months and my current husband/then-boyfriend to Christmas after about 9 months. It felt right both times and my family was gracious and welcoming -- even though they didn't like the ex when they met him.

      When it's my kids' turn to bring someone home, I won't really care if they're newly dating or not. If they like them enough to bring them around our weird family, I'm going to be as welcoming as I can, even if I never see them again after the holidays, lol.


      • I brought my wife to first meet my parents on Thanksgiving (more than 2,000 miles from where I live). That was about six weeks after bringing her to the USA, after seven months of struggle with getting her visa. Taking her before marriage simply wasn't possible unless she got a fiancée visa. As it was, we were married in Thailand and she came on a relative visa. I probably would have taken a good friend to visit my parents but may have had other feelings about taking someone that I did not have a strong relationship with.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


        • Thanks for the responses. I guess my bf and I are sort of outliers in this.


          • Hey, whatever feels right for you both is what you should do. I lived with my now husband for 7 years before we decided to get married. After 22+ years together, he still hasn’t had the displeasure of meeting my parents.



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