[Discostu55]

(I'm a guy)
SO i'm a guy, i have alot of freinds, and friends that are girls, but my problem is that i'm too nice and i can't seem to get asked out or find a girl in my age group. Thier always 10 years older then me. And recently i've started to watch alot of porn, i don't masturbate by the way so wat should i do, im a bit nervous.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

(I'm a guy)
SO i'm a guy, i have alot of freinds, and friends that are girls, but my problem is that i'm too nice and i can't seem to get asked out or find a girl in my age group. Thier always 10 years older then me. And recently i've started to watch alot of porn, i don't masturbate by the way so wat should i do, im a bit nervous.

Hi Discostu...

Firstly, i am to assume that, you are saying your friends that are girls currently are 10 years older than you. If so, is this an attraction to you mentally, you may very well get on better with older girls for in-stance. I know of alot of guys that can't mix with girls their age, they find them to be intellectually not stimulating.

Alternatively, as you are mixing with girls 10 years older than you, your not mingling with girls of your own age, so therefore, how can one ask you out in your age group..

You have a choice there, to ask yourself, if you want to date girls your age, or prefer a more mature girl mentally. That's a start to answering.

Porn and non-masterbation.

Again, so what has attracted you to Porn? Conversations that your girlfriends have, that you are surrounded by maybe? Not for the purpose of masterbating but curiousity?

And, finally, what do you mean by too nice. Do you feel shy? Not confident?

Hard to answer you, perhaps you can add a bit further..

Maybe your just a nice guy, J, who likes mature women, with inner childs, that of your age combined...

CW

[sourpuss]

how old are you?

[215214]

Hi I am also a junior member but I'm a girl so I hope I can help. =) When you say you are too nice a guy for your age group, what are you really saying? What kind of relationship are you looking for? Anyhow, if you want to date someone from your own age group you first have to make yourself dateable:

1. Are you confident in who you are, how you look and how you act?
2. Do you have a way to connect to those who you want to date (especially in your age group)? humor? hobby? life experience?
3. Treat them as you want to be treated. You want respect? someone to listen to you? Someone who will be honest? well, so do they. Treat these girls you want to date as you want to be treated. Those are the big three things most teen girls seem to unconsciously use to decide if a guy is 'dateable' or not if they are looking for a real dating relationship. When I say most teen girls this generally seems to be true for majority of teen girls ages 14-20. It never hurts to flirt just don't make it painfully obvious.

Hope this helps!

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Be an arsehole.

Say "No" if they ask you get them something.

Pretend you don't like them.


That might work, considering girls are stup1d when they're young. Well, not that boys aren't, but it's true to say that women don't learn the benefits of a nice guy until they grow up.

[Discostu55]

Disco stu55 here again,
No, like i work with girls that ae older then me, and they seem to somehow get attracted to me, most of my freinds are int he same age group, but still, the closet i have ever gotten to a real date was going to a freinds house, and she was sitting up on my lap(kinda sad really) and i've tried beeing a jerk, after a while it wheres off and its not me. Confidence, yeah im proud of who i am, im athletic, i care about my self, i don't do drugs. I really don't no the problem, i just too nice, i won't swaer that much wont make fun of u or anytrhing bad.

[Discostu55]

how old are you?

I'll put ti this way, i under 20

[Sweetness182]

I'll put ti this way, i under 20

So 12?

[Rapid'87]

Hey brother,

(I'm a guy too)

I got a couple of things to fix your problems. But just understand that there is no OVERNIGHT solution. It takes working on yourself and alot of critical analysis of your interactions to truely improve with women or anything in life for that matter, that said here are some things that I think will GREATLY help you.

There are some good books out there to give you a solid understanding of body-language, flirting and teasing and in general how to successfully approach and meet any woman you want to get to know better.

For body language ---> "The definitive book on body language BY Alan Pease"
For flirting ----> "David Deangelo's - Double your dating"
An interesting read, and an insight into the possibility for change ---> "the game by neil strauss"

AND A FORUM that I belong to. Which is all about social interactions and the finer details of attraction - Neil Strauss' Stylelife Academy - Dating Tips And Attraction Coaching For Men and click on the community button.

NOW... onto more imidiate things.

You say you are the typical nice guy but can't seem to get girls....

Well you just told me EVERYTHING I need to know as to why you are not attracting girls. You are TOO nice.... You can't bore a girl into feeling attraction for you, you have to be FUN, CONFIDENT and DIFFERENT from ALL THE OTHER GUYS...

I'm sure all the girls on here will agree with that. Why would a girl want a generic nice guy when she can be with a guy who teases her, takes her on spontaneous adventures and while he respects her, doesn't take her and instead acts like a man... These are usually the bad boys, the ones that girls chase because the can't have them and they hope to change them... You can make girls attracted to you like they are to "badboys" but without being an . You need to learn the art to flirting and that book I gave you is a good source.

Here's an example of a boring nice guy converstation that generates ZERO attraction:

Girl: So, what do you do for a living?
Guy: I'm an accountant, I'm hoping to get promoted to senior manager soon.
Girl: Oh.... cooll....

That is an example of a boring interaction.

Here is an example of the same question but generating a TON of attraction:

Girl: So, what do you do for a living?
Guy: OHHHH you're one of THOSE girls! Well it's too bad for you that I got a prenup but it's never going to work anyway, we'd just fight all the time and I'd win .
Girl: HHAHA helll no... you don't know who your messing with mister!
Guy: OH this one's fiesty! I'm sorry, I left my leash at home
Girl: *playful slap*
Guy: I met you 2 minutes ago and you're already touching me... Let's take thinks slow.


See the difference? There is chemistry and flirting going on in the second one. Why? It's playful, it's confident and best of all it's INTERESTING AND DIFFERENT.

So get to it man. You have the potential to find the woman of your dreams if you dedicate yourself to learning how to get her.

OH and the best advice of all. It to get out of the house, stop watching porn and go out and APPROACH REAL WOMEN. I know that as a guy in the beggining it can scare the **** out of you... but eventually you will realise that you have absolutely nothing to lose.

Better to try and fail then to NEVER try at all... All guys that are good with women got good by approaching and talking to them.

A simple introduction to any group of girls ---> "You guys seem like fun, I had to come over and say hi"

ALL THE BEST

[rachel77]

Disagree With This Advice

Disco, I typically agree with much of the advice given on this site, but I have to disagree.. actualy, I completely disagree with some of the advice given to you.
First of all.. you should always, ALWAYS, be yourself! This does not mean that you should not try to grow as a person or develop new skills or break bad habits. However, if you are a nice guy, who treats people respectfully, do not change who you are.. not ever.. not for anyone! The right girl will come along one day (sadly that day might be 10yrs from now, or it might be tomorrow) but she will fall in love with you for who you are, she will accept and tolerate your faults. She will admire and respect your qualities. How is that girl ever going to find her complimenting personality (thats you!) if its disguised as something else?! Honestly, about the worst advice Ive ever heard is to tell someone to act like something theyre not. This is bad advice for so many reasons:
Youre denying yourself to be who you are and be the person your comfortable being, and because;
You are lying to your potential date;
The "real" you will ALWAYS come out eventually and your girl may not like that person!.. this is why so many marraiges and relationships fail. People dont show their true colors until its too late.

I am most willing to agree that you should "put yourself out there" and take chances and do something youve never done before and be adventurous, but do not present a fake personality (there is a big difference here, I hope you see.)

You are a young, obviously a sweet and caring young man who WILL find someone in good time. You will make her happy, and she will reciprocate and it will be the best thing youve ever felt.. and even better.. it will be real! because you were real!

Best wishes to you, be patient, be yourself