[altenese2000]

I decided about a year and a half ago to stop having sex until I met someone worth giving it to. I would like to wait for marriage. My issue is that of course guys can not handle this. I am always up front about this and even the ones that say oh I can respect that the next thing out of their mouths is I want you. Is it at all possible to date a guy and get to know him before sex comes into play? If any guys is in the forum I would love to hear from you too.

[Fire(m)]

Hi Altenese. What you're suggesting is extremely difficult to pull off. I for one (as a guy) had sex with EVERY single girl who would have me when I was in my younger (high school and college) days.

When I met my wife, she, quite like yourself, wanted to save herself for marriage. It worked for us, with a couple of caveats. We DID stuff. We didn't have full-on sex (as in intercourse) but we did have a lot of fun.

I think part of the reason this worked for us was that I was literally satiated with sex and from many different women. Also, make no mistake about it, I wanted my her...but I did and was able to respect her wishes.

My question to you is what makes you think that these guys aren't worthy? I'll pose it to you another way. If you don't give a relationship your "ALL", then what makes you think that some guy will give it his "ALL"? The reason I ask the question this way is because I had several relationships after having been "burned" by women, where I just really didn't treat women like "potential lifelong partners". I feel now, that because I didn't treat them that way, there was a predisposed notion that they WEREN'T lifelong partners.

Beating around the bush sufficiently to just "state the hypothesis", I think if you want a relationship that's worthy of "giving your all", you have to "give your all" to find it. It's too bad that sometimes you have to put it out there to the wrong person, but hopefully the next one you meet will be the right one and this will be a moot point.

It did work with me to wait until we were married and have sex, but that was a long time ago. I'm sure it happens nowadays, but I can't guarantee you that even I would have the fortitude to do this again if I were to somehow find myself single all over again.

Good luck. Main thing is I hope you find what you're looking for. Just be sure that you don't short-change yourself by foregoing a lot of fun you could be having for YOU. Let's hope your next guy is your last guy!

Cheers.

[rcoreyus]

(I'm a guy). This may be getting off topic, but there are many posts on this board about couples with incompatible sexual interests. In addition to the obvious short term desire many men (and women) have to have sex with their partners, maybe there is some reason not to wait for marriage .

That said, there isn't any reson to rush into it either. There are some men (but not all) who are happy to wait a long time before the relationship becomes physical. Longer before there is actual "sex" (depending on your definition).

[Phoebee]

I decided about a year and a half ago to stop having sex until I met someone worth giving it to. I would like to wait for marriage. My issue is that of course guys can not handle this. I am always up front about this and even the ones that say oh I can respect that the next thing out of their mouths is I want you. Is it at all possible to date a guy and get to know him before sex comes into play? If any guys is in the forum I would love to hear from you too.

I laughed for a moment because one of the things that first came to mind was that they must be good in bed to be worthy which of course doesn't work unless they have some sort of sexual resume.

[Davey]

I totally respect what you're doing, if only more were like you. But I jus don't see how you marry some1 without testin the product (unless there's a dowry involved....) lol

[anonymouswhitefemale]

I certainly wouldn't marry someone who wouldn't have sex before marriage.

Sex is a very important part of a relationship, and you need to know that it will be satisfying. If sex drives differ, or someone's a total prude - the relationship will seriously suffer. Sure, I'd wait a while, but marriage? That's like signing a contract that hasn't fninished being written yet. Ah, I'll just add the "you owe me powers of attourney" clause....

[damd]

To have sex or not to have sex is a personal decision and to whatever your motives, doesn't matter. It is your choice. But no most guys, not all, but most are not going to be satisfied with it. But who cares. You don't want to have sex, good for you.


While I believe that people should experience all that life can offer, I personally view sex should be approached responsibly. So humping everything in sight to me is stup*d.

[miffed23]

I totally respect what you're doing, if only more were like you.

Pfft, yea great idea... lets wait to have sex before we are married, then lets get married and have a shocking sex life.

Personally, sex is an important factor within my relationships... maybe that makes me shallow, but i couldnt marry someone without knowing if they are going to satisfy me sexually.

I dont understand this decision at all, youve had sex before with random guys, so why the sudden change of heart?

Personally, sex is an important factor within my relationships....

To clarify (moreso for my own reputation than anything else) i DONT have lots of realtionship's' going on....

....lalala, digging holes.... lalalala

[Fallen1]

Sorry mildred .... I merged your posts and now it looks silly with you quoting yourself.

[Speed]

I'm a guy and these are my thoughts on witholding sex. I think there is one main problem in the way you view sex. You are looking at sex as something that the woman gives and the man takes from her. Sex should be viewed as something that two people share together. I want you to really think about this for a second. Deep down, do you view sex as something that you are giving, or something that you two are sharing together? The problem with most "wussy" men is that they don't get sex and therefore view it as a gift, which reinforces that way of thinking in your mind. However when you find a real man who can "share" sex with you then you can both be more physically and emotionally fulfilled in sex.