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Dating the money issue- who pays?

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  • Dating the money issue- who pays?

    Who should pay for the date if you're dating?

    1st day always the guy???

    Share after that???

    One guy came right out and told me he believes it should always be shared.

    Your thoughts?

  • 1st always the guy.

    shared after that, but with the guy paying a larger share.

    unless, of course, the woman has so much $ and wants to be a suga-momma! lol

    Comment


    • Originally posted by commonsense View Post
      Who should pay for the date if you're dating?

      1st day always the guy???

      Share after that???

      One guy came right out and told me he believes it should always be shared.

      Your thoughts?
      Dont take women on dates where paying is an issue. There are much more exciting, romantic, fun places that can be considered dates and the thought of paying never becomes the issue.

      If your talking about dinner dates. Then whoever wants the dinner date pays.

      If I ask a girl to come to a dinner date then i pay. NEVER HAPPENED THOUGH

      If I'm going to eat and she wants to tag along then she pays for her meal.

      If she wants the dinner date she pays.

      Dates these days are pretty boring. Honestly who wants to stare at each other over an awkwardly placed table waiting for the food. If you think about it. Its a way for a guy to con a girl into meeting him at a certain time and location in hopes that if he can demonstrate that he is interesting and fun will simultaneously proving to her that he has money and can support her (paying for the meal) then maybe he will get the chance to take her to another dinner date and do the same thing over again.

      I mean WTF.

      The complex comes in because women these days are much more independent so they dont need a guy to kill the buck and bring it back home. She can go to a grocery store across the street and get that dam steak she wanted by her self.

      Another problem here is that this sets up the mentality that the women is the prize and the men have to pay for her time and attention. If a girl is joining me then i see it as she is the lucky one. So she should pay for at least her meal. I'm not a bum i will pay, BECAUSE I WANT TOO. and not because society has made it a rule.

      Men or women that say Men should always pay is the same people that get fed up with boring dates.

      Just a few things for you to munch on.

      Live laugh and love
      Nice guys don't finish last, weak guys finish last.

      Comment


      • Interesting. Back in the stone-age, I dated girls and always paid. I picked girls to go out with that interested and intrigued me. I had some great dates, some that ended poorly, but I can't say that I was bored by any of them. Maybe I was...but too much time has passed to be concerned with it.

        2 things come to mind when I read your comments Livelaughlove.
        1st: How different the world is in 2008 than it was in 1978 when I was dating.
        2nd: Just one of the many reasons why a younger woman would appreciate an older man.

        Cheers.

        Comment


        • Well I haven't dated since Columbus rediscovered the new world - and not much back then either. But, if I were to date, I agree with livelaughlove that money shouldn't be an issue. If I invited someone to dinner would offer to pay - and would do so quite happily. But my idea of a good dinner date place isn't one with high prices, it is one with interesting food or atmosphere. I would certainly not be trying to convince my date how much money I had.

          I LIKE talking to people, so to me it is not staring at each other over a table. Someone who didn't like to talk would be a poor match for me, and there would probably not be another date.

          A good date restaurant would provide a topic for discussion. Turkish restaurant -> have you ever been in Turkey -> talk about travel. OR, Turkey - stuck between Europe and the mid-east -> political talk. OR Turkey - there is some really cool ancient stuff there - why was it people suddenly decided to settle down and farm there, 7000 years ago, but didn't most other places. or....

          Comment


          • I think when a male is courting a female it is natural for the male to pay. Once the couple is exclusive you should feel comfortable talking to her about it and come to a deal that works for the 2 of you. I call it communication.

            Comment


            • i think that if a man asks me out for dinner then he pays. if i ask him then i pay, unless he insists on paying his half.
              i dated this guy that didnt like me to pay even if it was my idea or my choice of where to go. i think if 2 people are mature enough then it wont become an issue.
              be resonable though...if he's paying im not going to order the most expensive thing..i usually aim for under whatever he is getting, especially if there is something on the dessert menu i want.
              Smile...it's not so bad.

              Comment


              • I personally think it depends on the situation.

                If I guy says to you "Hey, can I take you out for dinner?" I think that at this point, he should pay.

                But if you guys are discussing a place to go or something to do and dinner is what you guys agreed upon then, in the end I think the girl should at least offer to pay for her half and if the guy says no, at least she offered. Personally for myself, I usually insist on paying for my share, especially for the first few dates. To me, its just showing a sign of independence and it shows him that you won't rely on his money everytime you go out with him.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Idon'tknow View Post
                  I personally think it depends on the situation.

                  If I guy says to you "Hey, can I take you out for dinner?" I think that at this point, he should pay.

                  But if you guys are discussing a place to go or something to do and dinner is what you guys agreed upon then, in the end I think the girl should at least offer to pay for her half and if the guy says no, at least she offered. Personally for myself, I usually insist on paying for my share, especially for the first few dates. To me, its just showing a sign of independence and it shows him that you won't rely on his money everytime you go out with him.
                  I agree with this approach. Also, in this day and age, it's perfectly acceptable for the girl to ask the guy out on a date. If I ask someone out, then I plan on paying. However, it would be nice if the next time we had a meal or did something that he paid.

                  Comment


                  • I'm probably not going to pay for a first date, and I haven't yet. Perhaps a drink, expecting to have one bought for me in return. If a woman expects to earn a salary for the honour of her time she's a prostitute, and I don't need to pay for company. In fact, if I did, I'd probably go the whole hog and get an honest prostitute, that way at least getting laid would be a certainty.

                    I simply could not respect a woman who tries to have her way through life paid by suckers. It's a choice every woman can make, to think about nothing and be provided for, and it's pathetic when a woman succumbs to that easy road.

                    But then perhaps I feel more strongly about this than I should since I'm not exactly loaded at the moment.

                    All of this said, I agree that it's good to make someone feel special and cared for... And arranging a nice suprise for someone etc. is all well and good. But expecting it as a matter of course? PAH!

                    Comment


                    • I think the relative amounts of money the two dating people have makes a difference. Now I don't date (married), but if I did, I'd like to be able to take a woman somewhere nice (which is to say interesting). I have a fair bit of money, so the cost of a dinner really isn't an issue. I would be very happy to pay for someone who had less - but at the same time understand how that might make them feel awkward or obligated (which I would not want). Guess I would play it by ear depending on the particular person.

                      Comment


                      • I pre-date Rcoreyus, but ...

                        I believe neither party should always pay - something I learned late in the 20th century.

                        Many women would feel offended if they were not allowed to pay their way. They are grown up people and can take care of themselves.

                        I agree that if I invite someone out to dinner, then i expect to pay, and vice versa. I have gotten myself in more "trouble" for always trying to pay (old habits die hard) than the other way around.

                        So just relax and let things flow. NEVER embarass a woman by not letting her pay when she wants to. It can make her feel subserviant in the relationship.

                        Comment


                        • If a woman expects to earn a salary for the honour of her time she's a prostitute, and I don't need to pay for company. In fact, if I did, I'd probably go the whole hog and get an honest prostitute, that way at least getting laid would be a certainty.

                          OMG!!! We are not that bad. If we are with you we just want to enjoy a moment of your time. Hopefully, it may progress into a lasting friendship/relationship. Let's keep romance alive! Don't degrade the courtship. Any woman that would do something like that (try to use you) is not worth you time anyway.

                          Comment


                          • In the modern world things are different and women aren't courted as much as they used to be. It depends on a number of factors, who does the asking, who has money and mood. We tend to ebb and flow with this, but then 'dating' isn't exactly what my relationship has involved, rather, we do things together; working on a car, painting a room, taking a walk, shopping (that's the home improvement or tool store) watching a movie. I'll make dinner occasionally, he say let's grab some lunch. It probably balances out really. We are both so busy with work, our kids and families, that actual dates aren't very common, we just find time to spend together and enjoy each other.

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