[suzy20]

yesterday i found a chatlog on my boyfriends comp. it was between him n a guy having dirty talk, they had sent pics to each other etc n my bf even put 'he dunt see getting off with men as chating' aslso, 'that hed had a 3 sum over summer'. However in the conv, both of them my bf n the guy state that they both have gfs and they are both bi (which i didnt know). This all happened whist i was working
i have ended my relationship as i have lost all trust
i don't know what i should do i feel disgusted and obv upset
suzy

[WildChild]

Get tested for STDs first thing.
The stats are interesting, gays actually make up 2-3% of the sexually active male population (forget those mag and talk show stats of 10% - that was pulled out of the air and has become 'common knowledge' but has no basis) although in large metro areas the figure is as high as 8.5% (rural areas much lower) 1.4% are bi. Your chances of running into this again aren't high but when you are ready, maybe find someplace else to meet men?

[suzy20]

we are both at the same university, we were together 7 months. hes sending me emails explaining how he knows that i am hurt and he loves me. but if he loves me i wouldnt have found that chatlog in the first place. hes begging for a second chance but im not stupid enough to give him that

[Little]

I know it hurts more that it was with a man, but ...
The bottom line is he cheated. It was a topic you didn't think you had to cover, something you didn't think you had to "watch out for."
If he did this with a girl, would you stay with him? If I were you, I'd stay away from him. He should have told you he was bisexual, but it doesn't really change the nature of what he did. It just ups the shock factor.

[crzyredhead21]

Wow! I agree... run like heck! I had a serious relationship with a bisexual guy. I also had NO IDEA he was that way until after I ended the relationship and found out he had cheated on me with a couple guys. Ewww! Yes, I did get tested, which you should too. Don't go back to him.. way too many complications. And you're right.. the trust is shattered. Too many good straight/honest guys out there to waste your time with this one. I feel for ya!!!

[Little]

We don't tolerate homophobic attitudes on this website, just like we don't tolerate the bashing of any other group of people.
Just because a man is straight does not mean he is honest, by a long shot. Just because a man is bisexual does not make him a cheater. This boyfriend had an unhealthy attitude about his bisexuality, but many do not.

[shweedart]

If your referring to crzyredhead Little, I think you took that the wrong way

[Little]

I'm preempting a conversation that I'm tired of seeing on this board. People's perceptions of bisexual men are vastly different than their perceptions of bisexual women.

[Guest]

I dont think it's a matter of simply being homophobic.

A study published by the National Institutes of Health stated that bisexually active men were more likely to have unprotected sex with their female partners than their male partners, increasing the risk for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

I dont think it's unreasonable for a woman to be scared for her health if she finds out that a man she has a relationship with is bisexual, IF the man didn't make his bisexuality known to her.

Now some people may have different opinions of bi-sexual men vs. bi-sexual women in general, and I agree thats wrong. But that doesn't negate the health concern.

[Little]

A person has to have HIV first before he can spread it to others. If the man is having unprotected sex with women and not men, how does the risk go up? How can the risk for HIV be greater with one gender or another? We are equally susceptible to viruses regardless of sexual identity or preference.
Anal sex is a higher-risk behavior in that there are more likely to be small tears in the anus through which the virus can pass. And it's true that the rate of HIV infections are highest in the male gay community. But having unprotected sex is playing Russian Roulette, regardless of with whom one engages in that behavior. The media has put an unfair and biased slant on HIV/AIDS being a "homosexual disease." It is made to seem a disease that only gay men get.
It's reasonable to be scared for your health if you find out or suspect that your partner has cheated on you. It is unreasonable and biased to be more scared because of the sexuality of that partner.