[sTyLeRock]

Hey All,

I over heard my girlfriend on a number of occasions say to friends and other people "If we were single i would be with you" and somethings like "if you were a little older and we were single i would be with you". now in some contexts she means like sex/hooking up i think,

But a couple times she said it to someone who i know she would probably get into a Relationship with if i wasn't there..

I am not sure how to feel about this.. i felt hurt, crushed and broken when i heard it come from her mouth..

and more importantly i am not sure what to do about it because i spoke to her and she said she didn't regret saying it and admits to feeling like that.

-Daniel

[silvertae]

I don't think it's wrong of her to have those thoughts. I've thought them about guys I liked. However, she probably shouldn't be coming out and stating them and definitely not in front of you. She should feel guilty about saying something hurtful like that in your presence.

[WildChild]

I don't know StyleRock, you keep adding layers to this story and they all to point to you aren't very happy in this relationship. It sounds like this young lady has some growing up to do and isn't very aware of how her actions and words affect others. You are the only one who can decide how much you can take. I'm slowly learning that people treat you the way you let them.

[OGFL]

well said wild

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Well, from other threads, StyleRock also has some growing up to do, so perhaps they could support each other as they both become better people.

The fact is, people won't just be attracted to one person forever. There will be other interests. I think there's a refreshing level of honesty in what she says, and that possibly she has shown a maturity which you have been unable to match - even if it was a little inconsiderate of your feelings.

[crzyredhead21]

Hmmmmmm... well I know in my last relationship the first 2 years I was so "in love" I did not notice anone else during that time. I certaintly did NOT say such things to anyone else. It wasn't until I was getting to that "done" point with the relationship that I started noticing.. well.. everyone. Not saying that she does not want to stay in relationship but just my experience talking. She kind of sounds liek she's making herself "available". Maybe just in case this relationshp doesn't work out.

Bottom line for me.. if she was truly commited to you I dont think she should be expressing these feelings to ther people.. especially other men. Just breaks down the trust between you two. She needs to grow up and igure out what it is that she wants. If it truly bothers you than don't put up with it. Tell her that that is totaly unacceptable behavior. If she truly loves you than she will worl on it because this relationship with you shoudl be 1st priority.

Not sure if this helps but just my two cents.