[Guest]

this is easy. like i said in the other post that was written about the same subject:

. you cheated on your b/f. sure you didnt sleep with him but you kissed.

now let me explain: a kiss is just a kiss right? WRONG!!!!!

there is a difference you know. if you give a friend a kiss of the hello type, then nothing wrong. but if you kiss him the way you did and keep doing it, you are wrong and cheated.

so now you have guilty feelings.your crying out of your own guilt.


you wanted to see if the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. doesnt matter. your ex should be mad as H E double hockey sticks at you. to tell you the truth, you should be lucky if he ever saysd hi to you again.

reverse the story and put you in his spot and him doing it to you. all your friends would dogg him and say how no good he is, and how much of jerk and more.


i said it many times........... liers and cheaters are the worst.

[Guest]

i agree with most of the other posters here, you should be honest with the parties involved.

but you need to figure out what it is you really want, and be honest with yourself about it. cant be honest with others if you are not honest with yourself first.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

When young, you are allowed to make mistakes for goodness sake you are not an adult yet you are finding yourself..

But .... you owe it to tell the truth, ok...

For your future, so you know to respect and for this man.

Hard as that might be, you were confused, young simple.

CW

[suzanne214]

ok so i told him the truth, he knows everything now. i broke it off with bf2 and then the next morning i told my ex everything. he doesnt hate me but he says he knows he shud. he says he is more worried about losing me but doesnt think he can be friendly with me when i live next door to the other guy. he didnt take it as badly as i thought he wud but he is pretty down at the moment...i dont really know what to do.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You have to assure him regardless of where you live, that you truly made a mistake and that he has nothing to fear, if you can move and you love this guy, then I would be looking at those options as well, and letting him know that you will move, if need be..

Seems, he loves you more than you thought... But, the thought of this guy living next to you, there is no trust... He is not sure how to trust your words of, won't happen...

CW

[intergalactic]

I'd recommend moving away from the second guy if possible and seeing less of your ex for a while. It'll give you the space to get your head together and think about what you actually want from a relationship, and even if you want to be in one at all for the time being. It's difficult, I know I've been in a simliar position to your ex and it's just painful being around someone who's been there for you for a long time and who you love when they're confused about their feelings.

I agree with those who've said you're being too hard on yourself. Very true, almost everyone will be in a smiliar position at some point in their lives and obviously the fact the situation you're in is screwing you up so much indicates you have a good heart.

[suzanne214]

well yeah...i dont know whether it would really be possible to move out..i am on a contract so basically i am going to have to pay for the house for the entire year no matter what. so i cant really afford to move out...i am going home for 3 weeks of christmas and i am definatly not living with the boys next year, and its going to be the summer holidays by june so i wont be here from then...but i dont know whether that would be screwing round with my ex too much if i had 2 keep him waiting til then....

[WildChild]

It is what it is and one way or the other it will work out. You've learned and grown and while that can be painful it is for your good. If the two of get through this it should be with greater strength, if you can't deal with it, you'll be moving on.

The question you have yet to resolve is whether the wish to be bf1 is due to guilt or real attraction? If he's really smart he would hold you to a deal to get out and date up a storm (not necessarily sex) so you can be sure it's him you want.