Well for starters, this is a forum for woman, and I am a male... but! I figured I could use a females advice on the situation. Just so we aren't confused. Also, it is kind of a long story, but if you take the time to read it and give me some informative insight, it will be vastly appreciated. Thanks in advance. (sorry again for the length)
Well first of all, I'm not one for casual relationships or whatever nor just quick flings and what have you. Not that I haven't had them in the past, but I've learned from my mistakes. This girl I met, I met her about 4 years ago. Instantly we had a very strong connection, from the first day I called her we have been inseperable. We both knew we had a huge crush on each other, it was very obvious. Everyone else saw it, we saw it, but we chose to not acknowledge it. Wasn't a problem though, our friendship was so strong that nothing got in our way, eventually leading to the best friend I've had. During those years, she went through two boyfriends, one for about two years and the other for a little over a year. Both guys were total douchebags, I never liked em, and I knew they weren't right for her. Of course both of them fell apart. One turned to a crazy ex-boyfriend type, and the other was the stalking type *cringe*. Sadly, she almost moved away with the latter of the two. She later came to realize that would be a mistake, and moved to the town where I'm located!
Well, her and the "stalker" broke up a mere month before she moved to my location. She said she wasn't affected by it, and I believed her, knowing he was a douche and that they didn't belong. Then all of the sudden, we were both single! Both in the same town! And both minutes away for something we merely thought could never be... and it happened.
We both knew that we were in this for each other, and wanted our shot to see if we knew we could be the couple we dreamed of. Let me tell you, the first few weeks were some of the best weeks of my life. Finally I have grabbed a hold to something, that truly makes me happy in every sense of the word. And she was seemingly in a state of greatness. Well, our relationship built up at an alarming rate. It was just a matter of a couple weeks until we finally had sex. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't painful, it wasn't wrong. It was 100% right, and felt rightfuly so, we both agreed. This state of bliss went on for a couple a month or so.
So here we both are, finally realized something great. I'm still sitting up on Cloud 9, when I gradually notice she has slowly been slipping through the clouds. All of the sudden, the bliss wasn't there. She started becoming increasingly distant and wasn't eager to see me as much (mind you I still was). When we did get together, I could tell she was hoping I wouldn't try to do anything physical. She didn't want to have sex anymore, she didn't even want to fool around. A quick kiss was about all that it would go to. I didn't mind I guess, I'm not in this for the sex, it is great don't get me wrong, but I like the person she is more so. So I asked her about it, and she told me that she doesn't want anymore sex and what have you. I said, that is fine! I won't push anything on you. And I didn't.
Still though, she would treat me with less affection and not seem to give a **** about my life, this went on for a few weeks. I was still completely blown away that any of this has happened. One day, I was very stern with her and said we need to talk. I sat her down, and told her everything on my mind. That I was being taken for grantid, and I don't deserve to be treated this way (I'm not cocky, but I consider myself a very pure and genuine guy). She broke down in tears, and fully agreed. She knew what she was doing, and she was doing it on purpose. She had said she was confused as of late, what to do with her life (we are both in our early twenties). I completely sympathize with her, because I know what it is like and I'm still in a situation. The only thing I'm sure about, is that I love this girl and I would do anything to keep her in my life. Anyways, I gave her an ultimatum. I said I'm going to stop talking to you, and cut myself out of your life until you realize what it is you fully want. And if you are happy without me, then so be it, but if you want me in your life as much more than a friend, I will be eagerly waiting.
Well that lasted for about a week. The seperation was extremely painful for both of us, but I eventually gave in to her rampant texting and we started hanging out. But I told her, I'm not going to put up with anymore that I had to go through before. She was very earnest in saying, that she was dumb for doing that and she won't do it again. But she still won't call me her boyfriend, and doesn't consider us an official couple. She said these things take time. And that she doesn't want anything sexual right now. Which... I'm completely lost. Why? We have been best friends for many many years, and we know each other to the max. So now we are stuck in this awkward couple thing. And I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm being played, I can't and won't go back to being just friends... we've crossed that line and Iwe've both seen what we can share together, and it is the ultimate! My feelings for her, are literally indescribable... and they will always be like that, but if she wants to be just friends. Knowing that my feelings won't have room in her life, would just be too painful for me. So anyways, I'm very patient, and will wait for her to figure this out.
I worry though, that I will wait all this time to only figure out that she will turn her back on me... and I don't want that. But in the meantime, we hang out and have fun just like we've always done, she knows for a fact she loves me, and me her. I don't push her into anything sexual either, I'm very good about it. I even try to stay away from kissing her, not sure why, but I guess it is just me being fussy. Even though she will still gladly kiss me goodnight.
Anyways, that is the whole story. Right now I'm sitting at a very unsetteling point in our relationship, and I'm not sure what to do. And I don't want to press her about it, I have in the past and she is just generally confused, and I don't want to keep pressuring her for answers about us. So if ANY of you guys, and I mean ANY could give me some useful advice about this, I would be eternally greatful for making a young guy like me sleep a little easier. Thank you for reading this longwinded topic. I really do appreciate it.
Well first of all, I'm not one for casual relationships or whatever nor just quick flings and what have you. Not that I haven't had them in the past, but I've learned from my mistakes. This girl I met, I met her about 4 years ago. Instantly we had a very strong connection, from the first day I called her we have been inseperable. We both knew we had a huge crush on each other, it was very obvious. Everyone else saw it, we saw it, but we chose to not acknowledge it. Wasn't a problem though, our friendship was so strong that nothing got in our way, eventually leading to the best friend I've had. During those years, she went through two boyfriends, one for about two years and the other for a little over a year. Both guys were total douchebags, I never liked em, and I knew they weren't right for her. Of course both of them fell apart. One turned to a crazy ex-boyfriend type, and the other was the stalking type *cringe*. Sadly, she almost moved away with the latter of the two. She later came to realize that would be a mistake, and moved to the town where I'm located!
Well, her and the "stalker" broke up a mere month before she moved to my location. She said she wasn't affected by it, and I believed her, knowing he was a douche and that they didn't belong. Then all of the sudden, we were both single! Both in the same town! And both minutes away for something we merely thought could never be... and it happened.
We both knew that we were in this for each other, and wanted our shot to see if we knew we could be the couple we dreamed of. Let me tell you, the first few weeks were some of the best weeks of my life. Finally I have grabbed a hold to something, that truly makes me happy in every sense of the word. And she was seemingly in a state of greatness. Well, our relationship built up at an alarming rate. It was just a matter of a couple weeks until we finally had sex. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't painful, it wasn't wrong. It was 100% right, and felt rightfuly so, we both agreed. This state of bliss went on for a couple a month or so.
So here we both are, finally realized something great. I'm still sitting up on Cloud 9, when I gradually notice she has slowly been slipping through the clouds. All of the sudden, the bliss wasn't there. She started becoming increasingly distant and wasn't eager to see me as much (mind you I still was). When we did get together, I could tell she was hoping I wouldn't try to do anything physical. She didn't want to have sex anymore, she didn't even want to fool around. A quick kiss was about all that it would go to. I didn't mind I guess, I'm not in this for the sex, it is great don't get me wrong, but I like the person she is more so. So I asked her about it, and she told me that she doesn't want anymore sex and what have you. I said, that is fine! I won't push anything on you. And I didn't.
Still though, she would treat me with less affection and not seem to give a **** about my life, this went on for a few weeks. I was still completely blown away that any of this has happened. One day, I was very stern with her and said we need to talk. I sat her down, and told her everything on my mind. That I was being taken for grantid, and I don't deserve to be treated this way (I'm not cocky, but I consider myself a very pure and genuine guy). She broke down in tears, and fully agreed. She knew what she was doing, and she was doing it on purpose. She had said she was confused as of late, what to do with her life (we are both in our early twenties). I completely sympathize with her, because I know what it is like and I'm still in a situation. The only thing I'm sure about, is that I love this girl and I would do anything to keep her in my life. Anyways, I gave her an ultimatum. I said I'm going to stop talking to you, and cut myself out of your life until you realize what it is you fully want. And if you are happy without me, then so be it, but if you want me in your life as much more than a friend, I will be eagerly waiting.
Well that lasted for about a week. The seperation was extremely painful for both of us, but I eventually gave in to her rampant texting and we started hanging out. But I told her, I'm not going to put up with anymore that I had to go through before. She was very earnest in saying, that she was dumb for doing that and she won't do it again. But she still won't call me her boyfriend, and doesn't consider us an official couple. She said these things take time. And that she doesn't want anything sexual right now. Which... I'm completely lost. Why? We have been best friends for many many years, and we know each other to the max. So now we are stuck in this awkward couple thing. And I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm being played, I can't and won't go back to being just friends... we've crossed that line and Iwe've both seen what we can share together, and it is the ultimate! My feelings for her, are literally indescribable... and they will always be like that, but if she wants to be just friends. Knowing that my feelings won't have room in her life, would just be too painful for me. So anyways, I'm very patient, and will wait for her to figure this out.
I worry though, that I will wait all this time to only figure out that she will turn her back on me... and I don't want that. But in the meantime, we hang out and have fun just like we've always done, she knows for a fact she loves me, and me her. I don't push her into anything sexual either, I'm very good about it. I even try to stay away from kissing her, not sure why, but I guess it is just me being fussy. Even though she will still gladly kiss me goodnight.
Anyways, that is the whole story. Right now I'm sitting at a very unsetteling point in our relationship, and I'm not sure what to do. And I don't want to press her about it, I have in the past and she is just generally confused, and I don't want to keep pressuring her for answers about us. So if ANY of you guys, and I mean ANY could give me some useful advice about this, I would be eternally greatful for making a young guy like me sleep a little easier. Thank you for reading this longwinded topic. I really do appreciate it.
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