[Alesana_Bunny]

What does it mean when a guy says he likes you, but he doesn't think it's enough to be in a relationship with you?

I'm a little confused, because he's had a few girlfriends before but he never slept with any of them. They never lasted that long and his first girlfriend actually 'dumped' him for not having sex with her (calling him immature, I think they had been with each other a week or so) - he said he'd wait at least a year before he slept with a girl.

We've known each other a few years, and at the beginning of our friendship, I had a boyfriend, and this friend (the one I'm talking about ) liked me at the time - he told my sister at that time, and he told me recently. I've just come out of that relationship.
He's just come out of a relationship too (a little while after I came out of mine) - he was with this girl he really liked, but she left him to be wih another guy. He was a really upset about it at first (I don't think he ever liked a girl that much before) and for a short time kept saying he was going to 'giver her an innocent kiss on her cheek' (I told him not to do so as she was with another guy and it would just cause problems). Since then, he's been really flirty with me. He's also been sayng (since then) that he's got a bad taste in girls.

He knows I like him, ( I think I started liking him ever since I saw him at the start of the new year, he just asked me 'out of the blue') We used to just talk on msn, and so seeing him in person was nice.
When I told him this (people always advise that if you like someone, to tell them and don''t play games )

In response to this, he said he never stopped liking me... but then he added 'but I'm going to be honest, I'm not going to lie to you' and said that he doesn't know if he likes me enough to go out with me.

But the confusing part... is that he's willing to kiss me and even sleep with me, but he wouldn't go out with me?
We haven't had sex or even kissed yet, but he would.
I'm also worried because of the fact he's still a virgin - I wouldn't want him doing anything he would later regret... he could've lost his virginity with his first girlfriend... so why me, and now?

I just don't know what to make of this.


Could he still like his ex, and still hopes that she'll go back to him so he's keeping himself available for her?
Or could he not wanna be in another relationship because of his previous ones not going so well? (he has said 'I've given up tbh' a few times but have yet to know what he's given up on... )
Or could he just find me attractive and that's what he means by 'liking' me?

He's always said that if we were to have sex, I would have to be the one who 'made the first move' or to start it - however you want to word it , so he wouldn't force me into anything if I didn't want to do it.
And I've always known him as a sweet guy, he also always seemed to respect women...
Which adds the confusion...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Still feeling for his ex sweet, non trusting of women, sees you as a friend that he had "lust for" not even sure if he can do that..

TIME...

Be a friend only to start with, watch him see that "we" women are not "all the same"...

Let him take his time, dont' question, know.

CW

[Alesana_Bunny]

Still feeling for his ex sweet, non trusting of women, sees you as a friend that he had "lust for" not even sure if he can do that..

TIME...

Be a friend only to start with, watch him see that "we" women are not "all the same"...

Let him take his time, dont' question, know.

CW

Thanks, hmm he seems to trust me with information though...

if he has problems he tells me.


Thanks, I think I will just wait.
My mum used to say it was my fault for being with the other guy - it got my friend frustrated and stuff.

I think I was his first crush...

[Alesana_Bunny]

I think his ex has really upset him.
Her best friend said that to him that his ex thought he was really annoying...

He's been kinda weird since then.
I asked him how it affected him, if he was upset because he still liked her and stuff, and he said he couldn't be bothered to like her because it would be a one sided relationship.

[Guest]

he said he liked you, i am sure he does.
he got hurt, so now he built a wall to protect.
alot of people do this. he said he wanted to sleep with you and all but not sure of a relationship. right thier he is telling you if it doesnt work out he will miss your friendship. your friendship means alot to him and doesnt want to lose it but feel your friendship can handle him telling you his feelings. its a catch 22 thing. chance the relationship of friendship or keep it the same. a goof relationship is also being each others friend besides lover. keep in mind many breakups hurt one and most will not talk again after its over. not to say who is more mature but being hurt sucks. its just the way it goes. the few that do talk and possibly remain pretty good friends are few and far between.
guessing from your story, he wants to chance it but not losing forever. as for the ex in his life, im sure he liked her but not sleeping with her is his thought to remain a virgin. and his ex should have accepted it if she loved him.
their could also be the factor of insecureity on his half. affraid to take risks.
maybe he is shy in the sex area and needs the woman to initiate things.

talk to him as you both like each other. give it a try. if it works you both can benefit. if it doesnt work, you may remain great friends for life. you do have more to gain than lose. communication is a very important item to have in a relationship and you need to talk openly about this before the opertunity closes.

[Alesana_Bunny]

Thanks for that, you sound very right about the situtation

I'll try talking to him.

[Alesana_Bunny]

We were talking earlier today, or yesteday/last night where I'm from.

He felt used, and he said something about me caring about him, like it was unusual? I think that's different for him, and girls only go out with him for selfish reasons...

He said he didn't sleep with his first girlfriend because he knew that's all she wanted. He didn't want to feel used, and he said that he wouldn't use me. He said that I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship or something similiar?