[sarah98022]

We been together.. 7 years.. he told me he was bi like 3 years ago.. at the time i was in shock so i acted like i was okay with it, we experimented with it, and i had fun.

Now however.. I feel i have grown..out of it somehow..I just want to have normal sex.. Sex between a man and a woman..I even dread having sex sometimes.. because i know he will bring it up, and say "wanna suck while i you?" or something along those lines, while i am in the middle of feeling good, and thinking about how hes ing me and it throws me off.

So he asks me, and then i am like pulled out of my reverie and have to think well do i? and then lie about it because i don't want a confrontation or to not please him..I can't even orgasm while ing anymore because i am so goed distracted by all of this.

Yes, i have told him i didn't want anything to do with the bi thing and he was crushed.. just depressed for a long time.. saying how he can't have fun anymore.. just really flat depressed and ****ed off.. so i reconsidered and tried to like it, but just couldn't get into it anymore.. so i told him last night again, and of course hes just like, "don't talk just don't talk to me."

I don't know what i should do. We are supposed to be married.. in less than a year, he is the love of my life. I just wish things could be normal again. I so regret that day he told me not saying no i wasn't okay with it. I was young, and just in shock, so i smiled and went with it. I followed everything he did for a long time, and eventually he ended up telling me to be my own person, which hurt me really bad. So i did, i went and figured myself out.

Do any of you have suggestions? I just feel he is way, way kinky. I am kinky to a certain degree, and i think he kind of burned me out talking about kinky things. Every time we ed, for the last, well i can't remember how long, he has said something regarding me doing guys, him doing guys,.. etc etc.. just everything basically. I will go to a certain degree but i am really just tired of it.. I just want to actually my man, and not me promiscuous with other men. Is that wrong of me to want that?

[Little]

We don't allow profanity on this board. The words we don't allow are automatically removed.
You deserve to be happy, but so does your boyfriend/fiancé. It's not wrong of you to want to be and feel monogamous with your man, but neither is it wrong of him to have feelings for men and women.
Your problems started when you lied to him, though kudos for trying things out before writing them off. If it simply does not work for you, and you've done everything you can to be okay with it, then that's nobody's fault. But you have to decide if it's a deal-breaker ... nobody can do that for you.

[sarah98022]

Well thanks. I didn't know profanity was not allowed. I read the little thing before i posted, about the rules, just guess it is natural to me. That is how i would speak to my doctor.

Anyways, thanks for you're advice. Yeah it was never my intention to lie to him, and i did actually have fun with it for a while. That is part of my confusion. How come when i tried it years ago it was entertaining and now just seems boring? I read somewhere that humans go through sexual phases.

I was able to be fine with it for a few years, then it just started getting old. And i started wanting other guys more than i wanted him.. thought of even cheating. That is where it started scaring me. I want to want him. I don't want to be tempted to do things with other guys, or become tempted to become unfaithful. When we were first dating, like the first 2-3 years, we had sex every day sometimes more than once a day. Then it started to die off a bit. At 3 years in he told me he was bi and had even fooled around with guys when he was with me. It kind of bothered me. I guess i am just so confused by everything that i feel i am stuck in a giant rut and don't really know how to climb out. haha.

[confused124]

Hi Sarah. I can totally relate to what you are going through. My boyfriend is the same way. We have been together for 2 1/2 years and lately things have been getting worse with that. We don't have sex anymore because all he really wants to do is have me talk dirty to him about him being with men. At first, I thought this was different, y'know, and went along with it not really thinking anything else about it.

But, as time goes on, I feel the same way. I want the normal relationship back with a man who just wants to be with me, and not with some other dude. I just always think in the back of my mind what if he would really want to be with another man instead of a woman.

My man doesn't want to commit to anything more and I worry that a part of him wants to wait to see which way he wants to go.... I dont think that he would actually be with a man, but I guess we never know.

I say listen to your heart about the situation. You know what you have now and it's really not going to change at any point in the future. You have to do what's best for you and it's not fair to either of you to stay together....

I know what you are going through is really hard, so I hope this helped at all...