I've been with my boyfriend fully since about October. Before then I had known him for about a year, and we used to go out at the weekends and were friends, sometimes things would happen between us but we weren't "together". We lived together but as housemates since about September, with another male housemate. Things developed and we spent every day together and it became the norm that I jsut slept in his bed every night.
The other housemate became annoyed at this and told me I had to move out, so I did. He told me this a few days before my family came out to visit me (I emigrated to Australia from England the year before) so I moved into their holiday rental home while I found a new place to live. My boyfriend took me round to their place with all my stuff the night that they arrived and met my family, and we were very much a couple at that point, which was beginning of October.
Since then we have been closer and closer and now that my lease on this place runs out in less than two weeks, we have been looking at moving in together and have applied for a few places to live. In addition, I found out I was pregnant just before Christmas and we deicded to keep it.
He, like so many people I have met since being in this country, has a problem with crystal meth. I know other people that have taken it and have told me the sexual impulses you get when taking it are insanely strong.
Anyway, he stopped taking it once I was pregnant, which I've been quite proud of him for.
Yesterday I had his laptop to go online with, and instead found videos of him having sex with this woman. I know this woman, she is older than us (Im 26, hes 31) and I know has grown up children who have left home and divorced from her husband. Shes always calling him and drops everything to do anything he asks. I know they had had sex in the past but didnt think anything was going on now, I thought he would just phone her when he was stuck with something or needed a lift and things like that, whcih annoyed me anyway and I would tell him that he should treat people a bit better.
There was one video from beginning of Septemeber which would have been from before we were properly together, but another from 12th December. Two weeks before Christmas. I work in a bar and the video was a Friday, so I would have been at work. He had been taking crystal meth and so had she.
Id like to think he wouldnt have done this sober, but I feel so disgusted and repulsed. I've told him in the past that Ive noticed cultural differences from here and where Im from regarding cheating, and that people seem to treat it much more "casually" over here, which is something I find morally abhorrent. He knew this.
I'm not sure where Im going with this. Ive told him its over and hes very upset, has cried constantly telling me how sorry he is and how in love with me he is and how he didnt know what he was doing etc. But who knows if that was even the only time, this just happened to be the time they FILMED. I'm only about 7 weeks pregnant and dont think I want it anymore.
I know some people forgive cheating partners but I just dont think I can. Its something I feel quite strongly about and I cant help but feel staying with them implies some sort of acceptance of their behaviour. I dont feel I should have to work through trust issues and learn to trust them again, THEY messed up, not me. I didnt choose to do this. I think Ive always kinda of looked down on woman who forgive cheating partners. My mums husband cheated on her and she took him back, and I guess if Im honest I felt quite disappointed that she felt she needed somebody that badly that she would accept that. Same when I see things in the media about celebrities and the woman takes her cheating husband back, my reaction is always along the lines of "Have some self respect". This is coming across as quite judgemental but really I would be quite interested in peoples stories that have went through this and forgiven.
The other housemate became annoyed at this and told me I had to move out, so I did. He told me this a few days before my family came out to visit me (I emigrated to Australia from England the year before) so I moved into their holiday rental home while I found a new place to live. My boyfriend took me round to their place with all my stuff the night that they arrived and met my family, and we were very much a couple at that point, which was beginning of October.
Since then we have been closer and closer and now that my lease on this place runs out in less than two weeks, we have been looking at moving in together and have applied for a few places to live. In addition, I found out I was pregnant just before Christmas and we deicded to keep it.
He, like so many people I have met since being in this country, has a problem with crystal meth. I know other people that have taken it and have told me the sexual impulses you get when taking it are insanely strong.
Anyway, he stopped taking it once I was pregnant, which I've been quite proud of him for.
Yesterday I had his laptop to go online with, and instead found videos of him having sex with this woman. I know this woman, she is older than us (Im 26, hes 31) and I know has grown up children who have left home and divorced from her husband. Shes always calling him and drops everything to do anything he asks. I know they had had sex in the past but didnt think anything was going on now, I thought he would just phone her when he was stuck with something or needed a lift and things like that, whcih annoyed me anyway and I would tell him that he should treat people a bit better.
There was one video from beginning of Septemeber which would have been from before we were properly together, but another from 12th December. Two weeks before Christmas. I work in a bar and the video was a Friday, so I would have been at work. He had been taking crystal meth and so had she.
Id like to think he wouldnt have done this sober, but I feel so disgusted and repulsed. I've told him in the past that Ive noticed cultural differences from here and where Im from regarding cheating, and that people seem to treat it much more "casually" over here, which is something I find morally abhorrent. He knew this.
I'm not sure where Im going with this. Ive told him its over and hes very upset, has cried constantly telling me how sorry he is and how in love with me he is and how he didnt know what he was doing etc. But who knows if that was even the only time, this just happened to be the time they FILMED. I'm only about 7 weeks pregnant and dont think I want it anymore.
I know some people forgive cheating partners but I just dont think I can. Its something I feel quite strongly about and I cant help but feel staying with them implies some sort of acceptance of their behaviour. I dont feel I should have to work through trust issues and learn to trust them again, THEY messed up, not me. I didnt choose to do this. I think Ive always kinda of looked down on woman who forgive cheating partners. My mums husband cheated on her and she took him back, and I guess if Im honest I felt quite disappointed that she felt she needed somebody that badly that she would accept that. Same when I see things in the media about celebrities and the woman takes her cheating husband back, my reaction is always along the lines of "Have some self respect". This is coming across as quite judgemental but really I would be quite interested in peoples stories that have went through this and forgiven.
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