[Guest]

why do i feel so vengeful with my recent ex?

i am happy in the relationship i am in now. more than ever. i want to know what can i do to not think about being vengeful. i know karma will come around. but sometimes i feel its not enough; compared to what he did to me and put me through. i don't know if i need therapy for this.

[sourpuss]

How long ago did you break up? Are you hanging on because you feel like you were the only one hurt and haven't had closure yet?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Only one word came to my mind and Sourpuss said it.

CLOSURE....

Yes, what comes around goes around, but you haven't closed the door on it yet, whilst you are in a great relationship now, you can't close the door to what happened... Why?

Would it help to write it all down and as others here have said, then do a ritual of sorts and burn it?

Do you seriously think that he doesn't know what you feel about what ever it was that he did? Probably doesn't care.. He would probably feel real good to know it's still killing you, or hurting you.. Why ever give someone that satistaction.

Closure.

CW

[Guest]

yeah, i have to agree on the closure part. i don't think i fully gave him a piece of my mind. i just kinda left. blocked him from every social network and email i could think of.

he cheated on me multiple times while we lived together. and lied about it. and his friends lied for him too. he's a narcissistic .

i feel that if i do give him a piece of my mind he's just gonna think "oh, she still wants me". but in reality i hate him. i threw out everything that reminds me of our relationship. i was thinking of writing a letter; not sending it. but just kinda re-read it and do that whole burning thing. being friends with someone that dated him probably isn't good for me either. because it just ends up being a cycle of "oh, he's such an "

she's a great chick but i don't think its healthy for me. i think i might just have to leave it all behind?...am i wrong for saying that?

[kms]

I don't think you'd necessarily have to let your friend go, especially if you like her friendship, but maybe just tell her that you don't think it's healthy for you to keep talking about your ex anymore and then try to find new things to talk about.

[ThexMrs]

I happen to have the same problem except I don't hate my ex boyfriend at all. I am one of his best friends and vice versa yet I always have something to say about his girlfriend... Whom I've never met. I've only seen pictures of her. I never outright say mean or hurtful things. I just roll my eyes when he talks about her (though I'm the one who always brings her up) What does that say about me? I guess I don't let it bother me as much because... NOW THIS WILL MAKE ME SOUND AWFUL... I am prettier than she is and I look at her as a downgrade. I know how horrible that is but I think that is the only reason I have closure about us. I do say that she probably has a great personality to him, not that I would know. I think my issue is that he has told me that I am better looking and that my personality outshines hers in most aspects. He still tries to hook up with me on the side which will NEVER happen because I don't believe in cheating. Knowing that he still wants me does make me feel good though. I won't lie. Honestly, I don't want him back in the slightest. My boyfriend now is 1,000 times better than he is. I don't mean better as in a better person but better for me. Definitely.

So I say... Write the letter, burn it and let go!