[Guest]

Dude, really, come on. You asked for the opinion of women, you got it. I understand you may not like what we're saying, but when we tell you she will be negatively impacted by such a letter, you'd do well to trust us more than your own opinion on the matter since WE ARE WOMEN.

Even if you tell her you don't expect anything from her, she will still feel like you do. She will never be comfortable around you again. I call that a pretty negative impact. And if you say you are ok with losing her friendship, well, that tells me you don't actually care about her.

If you do decide to write this letter anyway, stick to your guns about ending the friendship. Don't call her, don't talk to her, don't try to see her. If she wants to still maintain contact, she will. If not, let it go.

Wow this is wild.. Why are you getting so worked up over this? What kind of answer is "WE ARE WOMEN"?

[golden_nemesis]

Maybe I need to give a few more details about the situation. I can't really say we are friends. I happened to meet her not long ago at her job site and when we talk I feel at ease.

Then just enjoy that she puts you at ease. It is nice to meet people like that. I would even encourage you to try to be friends with her. Organize parties or events with friends, and invite her (AND her beau) to come hang out.

So I am done with this thread. Opinion asked, opinion given, take it or leave it. Good luck in any case!

[golden_nemesis]

Wow this is wild.. Why are you getting so worked up over this? What kind of answer is "WE ARE WOMEN"?

Ok, not totally done. I am not worked up. Just trying to give you the advice you asked for.

And really? asking what I meant by we are women? Because we have two XX chromosomes and all the baggage that comes with that, we probably have a better shot of guessing her reaction than you do, because your Y chromosome is mucking up the works. ;-) (Yes, I am being mildly sarcastic in a friendly manner. Don't take it personally.)

Peace out!

[Guest]

Maybe I am reading too much into your motivations, but that is because you haven't given a good reason to justify your actions. So I have to fill in the blanks somehow. If it is just "So she'll Know", then again I ask WHY? "Well, so she'll know." The reasoning is circular, and so is not a real reason at all.

An anonymous letter would not be pointless. Again, if you care about her, and want her to be happy (which is usually a huge part of caring for someone), then there is a great point to an anonymous letter. It would flatter her and make her feel happy. Seems like a pretty good point to me.

I haven't given reason to justify my actions? And just exactly what actions are you talking about? I haven't given her anything. I'm only considering what to do. Why not ask instead of filling in the blanks?

I don't really know you, but I think your idea of liking someone is very different than mine.

The things you type is as if you're trying to say "is my way or the highway". I'm not in love with this woman. Falling in love takes some time, and I think if I keep seeing her eventually I will fall for her. I'm also considering not seeing her again for that every reason. I don't know what the future holds. Maybe afer her job is complete, I'll never see her again.

[Guest]

Ok, not totally done. I am not worked up. Just trying to give you the advice you asked for.

And really? asking what I meant by we are women? Because we have two XX chromosomes and all the baggage that comes with that, we probably have a better shot of guessing her reaction than you do, because your Y chromosome is mucking up the works. ;-) (Yes, I am being mildly sarcastic in a friendly manner. Don't take it personally.)

Peace out!

I don't feel I've gotten anything useful from you. In fact, you're making me regret I started this thread.

[Debra]

There is no need to get hostile. Advice was asked and it was given. You can either like it, hate it, use it, or throw it away. The choice is yours. I, and I'm sure Nemesis, were just trying to help.

I'm not sure what kind of an answer you were wanting to recieve, but I hope the advice was considered. I wish you the best of luck with your situation. Please keep us posted.

[Little]

I'm closing this thread. New members are supposed to have read the rules of this forum. You ask for advice, you get it. Both askers and givers of advice need to respect one another. We don't allow flaming on either side.