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  • Hopeless Dork
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2008
    • 4255

    I wish I took my own advice I told myself today, later today lol. I didn't. I acted childish and insecure and now the happiest relationship of my life might be over. He told me basically that he doesn't feel like he can do enough for me to be pleased. To be honest I don't know if he can either as this problem is with myself, not with him
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

    Comment

    • WildChild
      Banned
      • Sep 2008
      • 14142

      Sometimes we need some time to be with ourselves for a while, to work on what ails us. It's hard when someone who seems so 'right' comes at the wrong time. Can you perhaps talk it out and just back off for a while? Then see what happens?

      Comment

      • Mommy2Eryn&DJ
        Member
        • Mar 2009
        • 29

        Hello my life savers! LOL...ok, I'm coming back from the results, I backed off and I let him have his space (and yes I realized this is how it should be, while we work we we work and do our thing)..I came home from work and I was expecting for him to be all mad and stuff and it was actually not what I expected..he was nice and we cuddled etc...then the next day, I was sick because something i ate the night before didnt sit right with me, so I didnt go in to work and he woke up in the morning telling me he loved me and asked if I felt better did I wanna go work to work with him..so I cooked us breakfast and I went to work with him, we spent quality time, we talked we had a nice time (while he worked) and it was great..today...I just sent him one txt askin to buy milk and he said yeah I'll buy milk and that was that....its all good....

        Comment

        • MandyBee23
          Member
          • Jan 2009
          • 47

          Yay! It sounds like things are much better between you two now. I have had the same problem with my boyfriend and honestly I didn't really know how much I was getting upset that he wanted to do things with out me until he called me out on it one day. Tonight I was reading my book and he said "I'm going to my friends" not "we" and I immediately felt myself getting upset, I told myself to calm down and continue reading. A little while later he asked me if I wanted to come with and I said "its up to you babe, if you want some quality time with the guys that’s fine with me" and so he went with out me and I'm fine and glad I handled it that way because he will come home now happier to see me.

          My bf and I used to spend every sec of the day together plus non stop texting, def not so much anymore. I know how hard it can be for a guy to want alone time and or space, personally I could spend just about ever sec of the day with my SO and not need "alone time" and I think that’s how most women feel. But in the end its better for the both of you, he gets to hang out with the guys and fart and burp with out worrying about a female there and I can do my toe nails, shave my legs and put pimple cream on my face with out him wondering what he-- I'm doing to myself.

          Mandy

          Comment

          • anonymouswhitefemale
            Veteran Member
            • Sep 2007
            • 1343

            Originally posted by Little
            I think that we are conditioned to take what people say at face value even when it's obvious it's wrong. A man says nothing's wrong, nothing's going on, but the man you've known for a year is acting completely out of line with his normal personality? Something is wrong.
            Just because you ask what's wrong, it doesn't entitle you to know the answer automatically...

            Comment

            • Hopeless Dork
              Veteran Member
              • Dec 2008
              • 4255

              Originally posted by anonymouswhitefemale
              Just because you ask what's wrong, it doesn't entitle you to know the answer automatically...

              I think that when you play games and have to be in control of all information including what is upsetting you, your setting yourself up for lonlieness. Men and women need different things from a relationship. Usually, typically a man needs more space and feels smothered easily. But when you are in love and trying to make the other person happy, compromises need to be made or it all ends. And the guy gets more space than he ever really wanted. Complete space.

              I am not saying that a guy should have to explain every thing he does or the reasons behind it, but to say a person would not be 'entitled' to know whats wrong feels to me like it is some sort of weird power struggle that need not be.
              Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

              Comment

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