[Neaky]

I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do. My emotions are a whirlwind and everyone seems to tell me different things which pull me in different directions and i just end up hurting myself even more.

On Sunday i came back from my week vacation in the Keys with Nuriye [Austin's girlfriend].. Mark [my boyfriend], Austin [his best friend] and Austin's parents didn't return till today. When Nuriye and i left Key West on Sunday, they all sailed to The Marquees [sp] and The Tortugas. During that time, they had no service so we hadn't talked to the boys since Monday morning. Well, today, i get a random call from Nuriye asking if I've spoken to Mark, I'm like "Not since Monday, why? Have you talked to Austin?" She's like, "No. I was texting Quick [one of the boys friends] and he said Austin texted him saying they were back." I'm like, "Well, wouldn't they have called or texted us?" She's like, "That's what i thought." and then literally 2 seconds later, Marks beeping in. Well, of course, i click over. He says they're back, sailed all night soo, Austin doesn't feel like bringing him till tomorrow so they're just gonna sleep all day and he'll see me tomorrow. At first i was a little disappointed but i was like, eh, i guess, okay. Fair enough, he's home earlier than i expected but obviously I'm bummed 'cos i haven't spoken to him in days and i had missed him terribly. Well!

I called my friend Brittany because i wanted to get outta the house so i wasn't locked up, thinking about it, missing him, wishing he would come home. Well we ended up going to the mall.. Typically girl thing, lol. Mark texts me. I read the text and IMMEDIATELY am furious:
"Austin wants to go to Quick's tonight. Ima c if he can drop me off then. But idk he might not be going depending in what Nuriye says. Please don't say anything to Nuriye about us going to Quick's cause idk what Austin is telling her."

The gist of Quick's house is to go and smoke pot. Yes. My boyfriend smokes from time to time and usually, i don't care because we've discussed it and hes told me he doesn't smoke as much because i asked him not to. So, the reason i was infuriated? Because, AUSTIN doesn't want to take him home tonight but AUSTIN wants to go to Quick's to smoke. Is that wrong of me? I told him, that's a bit disrespectful in my eyes. He insists he wants to see me sooo bad but he doesn't make any attempt of trying to get home?
"I asked you to come get me but you said you didn't want to because you had no money."
NO. I thought he wanted me to ask my friend to take me AN HOUR AWAY to go see him, when i pretty much have no money, not to pick him up.. I would have begged Brittany to take me to get him, given i filled up her tank [which only takes about $20] soo we had a miscommunication there.

Well, he knew i was upset and that i would be even more upset if they went to Quick's, and yes, he knew because i flat out told him it's crappy in my eyes if they go. Well, we didn't talk for about 3 hours because i was literally hurting and i couldn't talk about it anymore. My dad called me and i was talking to him and he offered for us to go get him. I call Mark:
Him: "Hey baby."
Me: "Heyy.. Whachoo doing?"
Him: "At Quick's chillin."
My immediate reaction? "Okay, well then. I'll talk to you later."
He then gets upset, "Why? What's wrong?" Was it wrong of me to get upset after i told him it was crappy and disrespectful in my eyes after i told him how i felt about it? I called my dad crying, he tells me i shouldn't get so worked up and how I've made Mark my life and I'm tearing myself up and if i continue this I'm gonna push him away.

I feel like utter about this whole situation and like I'm in the wrong because I've missed my boyfriend and i felt like if he really WANTED to see me and missed me as much as he said he did, he would have tried everything to come see me. Am i wrong? I mean, i called him balling my eyes out telling him it was screwed up because he'll go to Quick's to get stoned because AUSTIN wants to and because AUSTIN doesn't wanna bring him home, he's just gonna go, even after i told him how i felt about it. I mean, I don't even know. He even made it seem like such a big deal.
"I'm home 2 days early. We have the next 2 days to spend together 'cos we don't work. You'll see me tomorrow."

In a sense i do feel like i am making a big deal out of it but then again, i don't know. I feel like i have a right to be upset. I hate feeling like and like i'm wrong. He is on his way home because of how upset i got but still. If he really wanted to see me like he said he did, wouldn't he have tried wayy earlier? Did i make a bigger deal out of the Quick thing then necessary?

And FYI, NOOOOOOW Austins bringing him home. Makes me seem and feel like a total scum bag. Woot. More people to hate me.

[Neaky]

Also because of the fact that he sat there and told me they were gonna sleep all day because they were SOOOOO tired from sailing all day.

Last i checked, they didn't have to go to Quick's to go to sleep. I do believe Austin has beds at house. I dunno. That's just me.

[Titch]

Your boyfriend got back early from his trip and didn't automatically come running to see you. You missed him, he said he missed you, but you were confused when his actions didn't match his words. You were right to feel upset, a bit miffed and put out. I know I certainly would.

But consider this. His friend Austin said he would be driving him home. That means Austin has the control over when they leave and what they do. Not your boyfriend. Sure he could kick up a fuss and maybe fall out with his friend (who wanted to do something else with his buddies, he said he wanted to sleep then changed his mind and decided he wanted to go and chill out with his pals, no harm there really, sounds innocent) but what would be the point of that?

Maybe you overreacted. You called him balling your eyes out and what was his response? He's on his way back to you. Because you're upset and he doesn't want you to be. Sounds like a good guy to me. Sounds like he originally thought there would be no problem with his plans, and when you did have a problem with them, he amended them. Don't be too hard on him, I think your dad has a point, if you continue along this path you might just succeed in pushing him away. Just give him a big hug and a kiss, tell him you missed him so much that his indifference made you a little crazy.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Titch
But consider this. His friend Austin said he would be driving him home. That means Austin has the control over when they leave and what they do. Not your boyfriend.

"I'm home 2 days early. We have the next 2 days to spend together 'cos we don't work. You'll see me tomorrow."

I totally agree with the above, it's not his call that he's back early.

Women have emotions so you got all excited that he was back early then all upset because he didn't come running to you..

It's a boy thing, they went sailing he would have been tired, but smoking dope also makes you chill and takes no energy, it's something Austin wanted to do and your boyfriend was completely honest with you, completely, also telling you not to tell Austin's girlfriend as it's not your call and because it's up to Austin to say what ever it is he wishes to say, lies or truth, to his otherhalf.

I think your Dad is right:-

he tells me i shouldn't get so worked up and how I've made Mark my life and I'm tearing myself up and if i continue this I'm gonna push him away.

Also look at what your Dad said, i highlighted it. Mark's back early and your jumping...

Instead of being glad and pleased and working out what your going to wear tomorrow and feeling excited, and then calling the girls and going out yourself, because you can, because your independent.

Being clingy only pushes a guy away.

CW

[Neaky]

I thank you both for your advice.. I had gotten the chance to glance at the posts before i saw him.

I did as you said, gave him a big hug and kiss as soon as i got outta the car and told him how sorry i was.. He hugged and kissed me as many times as was aloud with both our fathers right there [lol] and told me not to be but i told him i'm going to be because it wasn't fair and i felt horrible about it.

I did overreact, i know i did and i saw that. I tend to do it a lot; my emotions have more of a control of me than i know how to handle. But tonight i believe he's going out with the guys.. I told him i couldn't stay out late because i have work at noon tomorrow but its more or less because i want him to go out with his friends who he hasn't seen in a few weeks and enjoy himself.. Boys only [although i know Nuriye will more than likely be there but she always is, lol.]

But again, thank you. I truly appreciated it (:

[Hopeless Dork]

I am guilty guilty guilty of reading too much into things like what you just explained happened. I am learning that the differences between the sexes and how we do things is HUGE. He never once thought ... hey I am going to put my girl on the backburner, who cares , la la. Nope. His friend took him to the chill spot, he had a long trip and was like "ok". Along for the ride. Probably sitting there thinking about you and looking forward to seeing you in the way that guys do.

We always think everything they do means something, is on purpose to hurt us, is a display of not caring or something of the sort when most guys don't ponder things that deeply.