[Mommy2Eryn&DJ]

this passed weekend we went out with friends, tons of them some that we havent seen in ages, everyone was happy we had a good time. mind you im very friendly and jolly and as he would say "high spirited" well at the end of the night I see a guy we both know and infront of my bf i tapped the guy on his chest and ask him about his girlfriend (which my bf and i both kno I think shes even my bfs cousin) and my bf got ****ed...he didn talk to me and we get in the car he starts talkin to his friends about girls and stuff infront me saying that he could get girls etc..then I was like "yeah right..you're just sayin that cause your mad" and he flipped...we drop off his friends and my friends in the car (shes the only one left) we were on the way to drop her off and he turn the radio down and hes like why do you feel the need to touch my friends and he starts cursing me out and insulting me then he goes back home takes his stuff and leaves..now we're in the verge of either being together or breaking up..he tells me that everyone loves my high spirited personality but him...and now he says he wants to stay together make me his wife but maybe he doesnt need to live with me..im confused..please help!!

[WildChild]

Sounds like doesn't know what he wants. First you had the question of giving him 'space', now he wants you but doesn't? Telling you that everyone loves your high spiritedness, except him, is saying that he cannot accept who you are. Do you want to spend your likfe repressing yourself? Is this a negative charteristic which you need to change? It sounds like a positve to me. Only you can decide.

[sourpuss]

Ugh!
Walk away. Don't let someone's insecurity and negativity keep your 'high spirit' down.
Do you really want to live the rest of your life like this? You can't even tap someone to get their attention?! For god's sake! What's going to happen if you're married and you befriend a male coworker? What if you talk to a neighbor who is male? He's trying to control you with his temper tantrums.

....I just noticed your username...do you have kids together? Because that makes it a bit more complicated, but I'd still say leave if you aren't married. Sounds like a prison sentence to me.

[Mommy2Eryn&DJ]

we dont have kids together i have kids from a 6yr relationship....hes saying now that movin in was a big commitment but he wants to stay together..hes not even addressing the problem that caused the argument anymore hes makin it like the problem is OURS and its not that he insulted me, or got mad cause i tapped his friend.

[sourpuss]

Is staying and living like this worth it?

[Mommy2Eryn&DJ]

no its not it just hurts so much bcause we have so much history, we were jus texing and i was really angry and i said i wish you would just be mean to me so things can be easier and he said how about i dont say anything at all..and i was like well if you dont talk to me we'll never solve the problem? and he just wont talk to me..like its my fault or something...it hurts so bad to see the relationship fall apart....he still thinks theres something wrong with me tappin his friend and askin about his girlfriend....he says that if i think that theres nothing wrong with that then i have a problem...

[caterpillar79]

He's a very insecure guy, and he doesn't trust your judgement. I see it as a controlling nature on his part. Don't be fooled. Think and rethink...

[Mommy2Eryn&DJ]

when i tell you guys that he said the meanest things to me over me tappin the guy..it was horrible and even then i was willing to forgive him..but then he started sayin well yeah we should be together but i shouldnt live there because i need to work on myself etc..so i was ok with it..a little angry because i told him, im ok with it but i dont want you to think that this is your way of having your cake an eating it too..idk how it ended up being about him...so he stopped talkin to me and i said..if you dont talk to me you dont care about my feelings he still didnt reply..so i just told him it was over and he still didnt reply...mind you hes still got stuff at my house (not much but few) and i want to let him know that I mean business...(this has happened before as most of you know from my previous threads) I love him..but i think its time to love myself..i think that if i stop talkin to him if he really loves me..he'll reach out...

[caterpillar79]

Go ahead, toughen yourself up. You can do it. LOVE yourself more than anyone else, and be patient with yourself, too, because for sure, you'll feel the hurt as days go by. Sometimes, you have to let a guy on his own for him to realize how much he'd lost or given up. He should feel his feelings first (I hope he DOES seriously takes his time to do so), because if he does really process it, and be man enough, he'll see your precious contribution to his life. So give him your tough love now, or else, he'll never learn (and so will you).

If he loves you enough, he will do his best to reach back out to you and make it better the second time around. This means more compromise from both of you to make the relationship work.