[caterpillar79]

Get out of your current relationship first. You've said earlier that his temper is unbelievable. That, to me, is a red flag. He hasn't hit you yet, but please...DON"T WAIT for it. WC is right - get out now.

Don't get into another relationship too soon, because you will just be looking for what you're missing in your current, and that will form a pattern, thus, your relationship will get a nose dive when the magic is off...

Leave some time for yourself alone. Develope and devote a ME time for yourself and not look for happiness outside. Until you are happy on your own, the right guy will show up. Don't sleep with this new guy yet - you don't want to be a low hanging fur, do you?

[caterpillar79]

Edit:

Until you are happy on your own, the right guy will NOT show up. Don't sleep with this new guy yet - you don't want to be a low hanging fur, do you?

P.S.

What we are is what we tend to attract in a relationship. So in most cases, your partner's maturity and readiness is your guage of yours.

[Peewee61]

Drop Him

Just be strong and drop this man, the verbal and other abuse is not worth your life and you being upset drop him like a hot potato. You can get someone else who will treat you with the respect and honor you deserve.

I've dropped my friend of four years, he never gave me his place of residence address and he missing in action and does not call me and never comes by and see me.

Women have answered his cell phone and he has lied about it. At the present if I call this man he will not pick the cell phone up and he will not return my calls. If he does calls, the call does not last one minute before he hangs up on me while I am still talking. He is sneaky and decitful and he is not going to drag me down in missery as he has dragged himself into.

Remember it takes a fool to learn that love don't love nobody. Start over fresh and be happy, tell him good by and mean it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yep..

Your ready to move on.

It's not working with the boyfriend, hasn't for along time, your not happy and chances are neither is he.

He has a temper and smashes things.. He's not happy either.

This guy, "be careful" not to go for re-bound, because he may be saying sweet things of understanding and laughter etc, just to get where he wants to get....eventually...

But, bottom line is, regardless, your laughing again, happy and see what your missing so there really isn't much point continuing this relationship of 5 years is there?

Time to move out/ or him and move on with your life.

CW

[Deliliah]

okay i can definitely relate in every angle i will just leave it at that but i will say if your gonna be feeling the new dude out leave your old one if your truly over hime because if you cheat on him then you give him the satisfaction of saying oh she did it too no leave him and get your old self back if a man can make you change completely like that than he is not worthy of having you and that is from experience i have been stressed out and had low self esteem and thought i was so ugly didnt want to look in the mirror after having my children all i wanted to do was sit in the house and sleep and watch tv i was the total opposite before hand so my advice is get what your missing thats what men do my motto is "whats good for him is good for me"

[oldr+wisr]

Dipsy

No matter how much you want it; or how hard you try, he is NOT going to change! Please understand, it is NOT you! You have tried, that is all one could ask for.
You are not happy! That is enough said! If you have the means...move out! He will tell you exactly what you want to hear, to get you to stay, but deep down YOU know! He has already broken your heart once, don't put yourself through it again....and there will be a next time! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on! You deserve to get, as good as you give!
It is hard, look yourself in the moirror, and tell yourself, and believe it when you say it, You are better than that, find happiness...It's not there, in that home, with that man!

Best of luck sweetie!

[caterpillar79]

How is everything now, Dipsy? I hope you made the right choice. Be strong. We are all here for you.

Regarding my advise on not moving into a new relationship too soon, I guess i will have to take it seriously as well. Since I am in a very vulnerable state right now, I am susceptible in falling for any guy, and I don't want that to happen.

I want to have a clear mind and heart once I decide to go into one again. I will take my time. I met a very nice guy online, and I hope is truly is...As of now, i want to focus my attention in improving myself, because I don't want to be a co-dependent.

Life is short, so I'd rather share it with the person I deserve to have.

Get a counselor to help you sort yourself. Having a professional walk you though your emotions and thoughts would truly gear you into developing a coping mechanism that will be flexible to use in any situation. It is a lenghthy process, but it is rewarding.

Take care.

[andromeda]

If you are asking that question, it is because you already know the answer and don't like it.