[sugarlips29]

I began a relationship in 2003 with Peter whom I met through my brother. We dated for four years but in the last 6 months I became depressed due to his lateness and selfish behaviour, he was a workaholic and could never relax and have quality time together. He was extremely possesive and jealous, checking up on me and would ring me about 12 times thinkig there was something wrong I did love him deeply but felt he was suffocating me. I decided to end the relationship.

Four months later I got an email on Facebook from a guy called Chris I dated briefy at college 12 years ago, we were only 17!!it was a huge shock as I never saw him all that time,. We decided to meet up for a few drinks we've been together for 18 months. He makes me happy and treats me with respect.


In the last 6 months I started to have dreams about my ex,
I was inlove with my ex, my relationship with Chris is great I love him but don't feel the same way as I did about my ex, is it still early days OR is this telling me something or is this a wake up call??

[lizzy_09]

I began a relationship in 2003 with Peter whom I met through my brother. We dated for four years but in the last 6 months I became depressed due to his lateness and selfish behaviour, he was a workaholic and could never relax and have quality time together.

This is one of his flaws, weakness and shortcomings.

He was extremely possesive and jealous, checking up on me and would ring me about 12 times thinkig there was something wrong I did love him deeply but felt he was suffocating me. I decided to end the relationship.

What made him react this way is because he hardly has time with you which scares the out of him to loose you. Sometimes, our fears is what push other people away instead of getting them close to us. Did you ever try to sit down and talk about this with him?

In the last 6 months I started to have dreams about my ex,
I was in love with my ex, my relationship with Chris is great I love him but don't feel the same way as I did about my ex, is it still early days OR is this telling me something or is this a wake up call??

Just would like to know are you and Chris committed already? From my perspective, I think it's to early to get involved with Chris if your still in love with your ex. You should try to heal your heart first before you try to get involve with someone new. We tend to compare our former with our later, which at times blind us to where were truly happy. Relationships are a team effort and it should be worked out together, but if you both couldn't meet each other halfway and compromise, then it would be best if you stay as friends since your both way into different directions.

[WildChild]

Well the ex's jealously may have made you feel wanted or desired? Thing is that grows old fast and can become a serious problem. You are dealing with the could of, maybe, what ifs. You need to find a way to lay these to rest. Believe me a relationship with someone controlling and jealous is no picnic but your ambivalence could harm the relationship you are building.

Being "in love" is different from loving. Take time to do some serious thinking. Why did you leave the ex you were in love with? Focus on that, understand that those behaviors rarely improve. Consider what you want now. What could be better? What are you missing? Can you find a healthy way to create it?

[Chantalemma]

Wow same thing I had went threw with my bf. We have been together 10 years. You need to talk to him.

With your new bf I would defenetly ask yourself if you are in lov ewith him....? Where do you see yourself in 2 years?: Are you still with him>? Things like that... It might help to make a decision.

[godlygirl]

Youre still in love with him...bye bye chris!

[Ahryin]

I began a relationship in 2003 with Peter whom I met through my brother. We dated for four years but in the last 6 months I became depressed due to his lateness and selfish behaviour,
*so right about here is where you I suggest you start over again and read it back to yourself*

he was a workaholic and could never relax and have quality time together.
*please repeat*
He was extremely possesive and jealous, checking up on me and would ring me about 12 times thinkig there was something wrong I did love him deeply but felt he was suffocating me.
*hmmmmmh....thinking...*
I decided to end the relationship.

Four months later I got an email on Facebook from a guy called Chris I dated briefy at college 12 years ago, we were only 17!!it was a huge shock as I never saw him all that time,. We decided to meet up for a few drinks we've been together for 18 months. He makes me happy and treats me with respect.


In the last 6 months I started to have dreams about my ex,
I was inlove with my ex, my relationship with Chris is great I love him but don't feel the same way as I did about my ex, is it still early days OR is this telling me something or is this a wake up call??

Ok I don't think you gave yourself enough time to heal. Just because you have dreams about a person does not mean you still love that person. If you really want to know what the dream means go to a dream interpreter. Thats like people who dream about babies thinking they are pregnant when a dream specialist will tell you its when you dream about fish. You were in an emotionally draining situation which assisted you into depression and you want to know exactly what again..... Sweety I'm just glad you got out before the possibility of things getting worse. People can do horrible things in the name of love before and if they ever mature. The fact is the man you were with was immature and borderline dangerous. You say you are with a person that loves you, shows you he loves you appreciates you, communicates with you and with whom you are happy with....baby girl open your eyes before you actually do miss out on something. A dream is a dream but in the morning you are faced with Life!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Perhaps Chris is a bit of a softy, sweet, nice....

Perhaps Peter was a ..... and you had to fight for his love.

Perhaps you haven't realised your own self worth and think you deserve to be treated bad.

For some reason, some ladies still like the bad boys and can't accept the nice guys.

Your after a little more nasty maybe even simply and only in bed? A bit of a "man" who excites you...

If you look deep down inside you will work out what component it is that you actually miss and don't have as to why you are dreaming.

I believe it will be sexual..

CW

[Ahryin]

Nice one Chandlers! It does make sense, i'm curious to know as well

[caterpillar79]

I am inclined to agree with CW...it does feel that way.