[CHANDLERS WISH]

Men have a habit of putting "blame" on the other person, when breaking up.. It makes them feel better and those types of men are weak...

He dumped it all on you, instead of saying, "I've changed and I don't feel the same way about you, I need my freedom, I met someone else I like," what ever the real reason is.

You keep going like an ever ready battery young lady and keep going to that gym for YOU.

It had nothing to do with weight.. Or else 1) he wouldn't have gone out with you and 2) he would have voiced this ages ago and 3) he would be over the moon at the weight you have lost so far.

Don't get sucked in to the blame game.

CW

[LanaBear]

Nah - I highly doubt that was the reason. He was just too chickens... to tell you the truth, so it's easier to make it your fault, your problem, etc. You'll be better in the long run without him.

Continue doing what you are doing for you and nobody else!

[divaprincess]

thank you ladies again for your encouraging posts. It has really made me realize some other things and made me feel better due to the posts that were encouraging me to keep my head up and move on. Thank you again, it was very appreciated.

[lime_lemur]

Cahnces are, this is not the real reason he left you. He was just looking for an excuse that would make you look bad so that he doesn't seem like the antagonist in the story in his head.

My exboyfriend and I were together for two years, and one day he started acting funny, then left me for all sorts of stupid reasons like "You can't cook" and "You don't have a car." He immediately found another girlfriend. I knew he wanted to leave me for her, but wanted to make it sound like he was leaving me because I was flawed. She ended up leaving him for another guy about a month ago, and now he's calling me again, but I ignore it because I have an absolutely fantastic new boyfriend.

I had trouble getting over it because I didn't want to let myself get angry at him because I cared about him a lot. But when he kept giving me stupid reasons for leaving me, I realized that I had to let myself get angry at him and tell myself how much he wronged me, which quickly suffocated my attraction to him. The good part about *******s is that it makes it easier to get over them ;]

I bet your beautiful despite weight, and I think it's fantastic that you put so much work into losing. I have little sympathy for the overweight people who sit around eating low carb and sugar free stuff to try to lose weight. 40 pounds is a lot!