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Ami i doing the right thing?

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  • Ami i doing the right thing?

    I have prviously wrote to you all about my boyfriend of 5 yrs. Here is the thread.

    Hi guys any help on this situation would be great!!!

    Well here goes, I have been with my boyfriend for 5 yrs, We was vey happy at first but the past 3 yrs have been very difficult. We don´t really talk and sex life is non existent! when i ask him why he won´t come near me he tells me not to start an arguement and says he does. But he don´t and when i show him affection he tells me to get off or thats enough now. He does kiss and cuddle me but only when he wants to. About 2 months ago i found out he had a one night stand with another girl which broke my heart i have done everything for him and i constantly try and never given up on us. I forgave him after 2 weeks of being apart as he was crying and telling me how much he loves me and he will never do it again.

    But im not very happy and i don´t know what to do anymore i have tried so hard. He has a terrible temper as well. He has never hit me but Smashed numerous things around the house including windows when we argue. His temper is unbelivable. And i don´t like it. God knows what the neighbours think.

    I feel like he is only with me to pay half the rent and to cook and clean.

    I do still love him but im just not happy anymore, He said he would change his behavior after the cheating. He changed for 2 weeks and his bad attitude and talking to me like poo came right back. Can´t talk to my friends they don´t know any of this they think we are the perfect couple. Im to embarressed to tell them

    Any thoughts on this would be greatly appriaciated. x

    Well alot more has happened since had the police at my front door as he has been screaming and shouting at me. Found out his password to facebook and saw messages from other girls and him giving his phone number to them.

    Well i have decided to move out and my mum is helping finantially with my new place. But i have a feeling im not doing the right thing!!! i don´t know if it´s cos i still love him or cos im scared of being alone Arrrhhh i feel like im going bad. Know it sounds silly but i know i should go but im so scared.

    PLEASE HELP!!!!!

  • You are doing the right thing and don't you DARE give him a key or even let him know where you are. You may feel lost for awhile but before long you will be wondering why you didn't get yourself free sooner.


    • i honestly think that you did the right thing. i think the guy just wanted to be with you for convenience. but if he can't treat you right and worst, cheat on you, then WHY would you still want to be in that relationship? sure, he doesn't hit you now, but someday he will. people with bad temper can never control it forever - one day they're just gonna explode. if today, it's the police knocking at your door, next time it could be the paramedics.

      do not be afraid to be alone. sometimes, it's what you need in order to find yourself back. take the time to recover from the break-up and redeem your self-esteem. learn to love yourself again. then when you're ready, you will unknowingly start attracting great men in your life again. everything takes time.

      remember, beginning today, it's all about YOU. <3

      goodluck! don't look back, you're on the right track now


      • Thankyou for your replys, it´s just so hard for me at the moment. 1 min i know im doing the right thing and the next im questioning myself. I am very lucky to have the support of me family and they all know know what he is like now. I have kept it from them all for years and the other day i just broke down on the phone to my mum. I live in Spain and my mum is in ireland so it upset her as i was so far away and she couldn´t be here with me. But she is flying out friday and im moving next week.

        I have a dog that he bought me when we first got together and he knows how close we are im so scared he is gonna try and take her off me. Im scared of him coming into my work and kicking off at me and embarrasing me. I have told my boss and he said he will tel him to leave and not to worry about it. But i am worrying about it


        • Let's see...he has a horrible temper, was talking to over girls/getting their numbers over Facebook, yells at you, smashes windows, gave cause for the police to be called, and you're wondering if you've made the right decision. Honey, WHERE IS YOUR SELF WORTH? No woman, man, child, alien, bird, bug, etc. deserves to be treated like this. This is not a loving relationship. You've been with him five years, so you feel lost, and that's natural. But I agree with WildChild. Don't you dare let him know where you live or give him a key. He doesn't deserve you. Personally, if a guy treated me this way, I'd tell him to go play on the freeway (kidding.kinda...). Do better for yourself. Get involved in things that make you happy. Don't jump into another relationship to ease the pain of losing this one (good riddance to him!), as that will only prolong your pain. Be alone and take charge of your own life without an abusive jerk holding you back and controlling your emotions.



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