[megm]

I was involved with a married man 7 mths ago, who is also my relative. I am ‘lucky’ enough to say that the complicated relationship just last for 6 mths. I don’t want to go through all the details again. what i want to say is…it started and happen so nice and happy and we didnt even know that we attracted to each other …then things go wrong when we each other more and more. so the rest of the story i am sure you all know.

he is married and have 3 kids. we are same age. honestly, i haven’t really felt that bad before in any of my relationship. when i said bad means after all the romance and when you get back to yourself and asked yourself what u r doing and wether its worth it or not. getting involve with a married man is worse than getting into any other single guy beacuse too many people involved. so my ad vise is that don’t even start it. I regret of what i did and it makes me feel so cheap and low self esteem.

I am now trying to take the rollercoaster mood…it come up and down everyday. I try to calm myself and when the pain comes then i take it and try to tell myself its gonna be ok very soon. then i feel better but when the bad mood comes back then here i am again keep telling myself the same thing. so its hard but only me myself can help the situation and move on. Its so hard that i have to go thru this alone.

I don’t even want to hate him for what he did cos there is no point. I just hope that i can leave him alone and he can do the same to do….cos i have a better life in front of me even its hard to walk there. but there is no shortcut. so what i do everyday is to online look at articles…cooking and do what make me feel good but i still not in the mood of seeing more people.

I just deleted all his contacts from phone and sms and email from my list. He is a coward. let me tell you something, men can say whatever they want to say just to make themselves feel good and feel young. they love the attention…at 1st u wont be able to see it so clearly cos u used ur heart to think and not ur head. so when its about time u will start to use ur head to think…and u will know that actually he is not that into you.

I think i deserve it when the bad mood comes ‘attack’ me. so i will take it sometimes i can’t even cry. sometimes when i wake up in the middle of the night, i still remember what happened and the guilt and how stupid i was. but there is something i didnt do which is to let his wife know about it. i even telling him not to join me when im traveling cos this is just no good and not fair for the wife and then i started to think is this fair for the wife that her husband is telling me how much he miss me and how much he loves me and i actually feel good. not fair right? i hate myself for that.

now after so many mths we dont keep contact i can see things clearly and start to know that whatever emotions bad or guilt or regret or pain i will have to take it and let my heart pains and let me go thru this. I wanted to blame him who make the move 1st and trying hard to be with me but i am the one who let myself fall in the trap so who to blame? can’t blame anyone i can only blame myself so the emotion kicks just take it and slowly hopefully i will be able to have better self esteem.

I stop doing what i like few mths ago..i will take my time and heal my heart cos i believe eventually i will pull through and everything will be fine for me.

I know a lot of people we all need attention and love but its not a healthy relationship so better just stop it as soon as you can. the more you cling into it the more you suffer. and don’t ever call the wife or revenge cos u urself also be responsible of what you are doing and the best way is to accept and let go.

Just don;t forget if you are involve with a married man maybe it takes 3 to 5 yrs for you to wait and finally he tells you that he cant leave the wife and kids while he has to say goodbye(he wont say now and will promise u will take care of u)to you. then u try to look for some guys who used to call you or interested in you but they all got married and not available. A lot of women who stay for the married men ended up like that trust me!!! time is too precious to waste women!!!

I was too naive but i would like to see him again one day when i have my own family. i don’t hate him..what i can say is…things are complicated and the timing is not right. I don;t miss him that much now cos he let me down which is good also. but there is no need to hate.

I am moving on and so far so good. my little home with my bf (next year will be husband) is here and we r going to start own home in 4 months. I sometimes will goto furniture store and buy this and that. i think we should appreciate what we have now and be in a healthy relationship…be the one and only one for your man and not the second cos u r gonna regret.

sweet things are not hard to say from a man’s mouth. but actions speak louder than words.

delete what he sent you and buy for you. oh it reminds me of throwing away the Valentines card he sent me this year and then that was the last thing from him. also the house i am staying now he came to this house before so i will not stay there after 3 mths. see i am doing what i should be doing.

i hope you all can get out of this kind of relationship as soon as you can. don;t waste your time. a man who truly love you will not come to you when he is still attached to another woman cos he wont hurt you…he wont like to see you cry or suffer. if he is the man he will show u his love by his actions. if he cant and still want to cling with u that means he is too selfish.

maybe i should ask some questions here but i am too lazy to do so. i just want to post something and talk to people. thank you!

[megm]

oh, now the bad mood and heart pains 'attacked' me. they will disappear soon

[WildChild]

Good for you moving on and forward! Don't beat yourself up so much and try to let go of the blame. You both knew what you were doing, you ended it and that's good. Focus on your future and finding happiness!

[Loveshoes]

You aren't the first one to have this happen and you certainly won't be the last. With time comes healing. You will be able to move forward. It sounds like you have a bf and you will be able to shower your bf with all the love and happiness that you were spending on someone that didn't deserve it. Be well, be blessed. The most important thing is that you ended it and you know that what you did was wrong. Its time to let it go and move on.

Best of luck.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think i deserve it when the bad mood comes ‘attack’ me. so i will take it sometimes i can’t even cry. sometimes when i wake up in the middle of the night, i still remember what happened and the guilt and how stupid i was. but there is something i didnt do which is to let his wife know about itI think i deserve it when the bad mood comes ‘attack’ me. so i will take it sometimes i can’t even cry. sometimes when i wake up in the middle of the night, i still remember what happened and the guilt and how stupid i was. but there is something i didnt do which is to let his wife know about it.

You don't hate him but you hate yourself and now you have a wonderful man in your life that you will be marrying...

Because you have found someone for you that loves you, you feel that hate.

It's time to realise that "mistakes happen", and sometimes those mistakes will have consequences but it's time to let that all go....

It happened, end of story, put it in the closet, you learn't from it, by it and that's life, lessons....

It's been 7 months... let it go and smile that you did in-deed let it go instead of being their 5 years later and get on with your life without hating yourself anymore.

CW

[megm]

Thank you.

bought some plants today and cooked a very nice and simple dinner. start beading again and try to love myself more.

[DEMIARRIETA]

I was in a relationship with a man who was married too. Has 2 children which is his life. He had no marriage for over 5 years slept in a different room with his wife and they had an agreement after kids grow up they will go their ways. My marriage was on the rocks for a very long time and since I knew he this man cared for me for so long and was going after me I got my divorce. Well lots of things happens before my divorce my ex husband told his wife. They went for divorce but he said he did not want it. We continued our secret relationship for 16 months until something happened and he is now back at home. I was so mad I told his wife about our continued affair. She went for a divorce but now all I know is that they are in voluntary mediation he still lives at home and I just have such a hard time. I keep on calling living messages that makes me feel that maybe he is listening. Maybe the agreement was that he don;t talk or see me so he can still stay at home and be with his kids. Who knows. I know I don't feel I have a life. Feel so lost without him. I love him and want him back. You probably say don;t do this to yourself but I just cannot help it. My emotions are like waves and I feel so so sick and my heart is in pain.

[megm]

'I know I don't feel I have a life. Feel so lost without him. I love him and want him back.'

been there done that. i was confuse and so much in pain too...i don;t know what to say...i think u know what u should do. You told her wife about the affair? why do that? At least you told her about you both. I didn't say anything and just let my emotions go up and down and let myself and my hopes go up and down and then one day i was like wake up and told myself no matter how hard it's...have to let go.


He told me they sleep in different rooms too which i think maybe its truth because we used to talked on phone almost every night until 3am.

He also care a lot about me and was so brave even in front of my relatives.

He didn;t promised me anything about divorce with the wife but he did say that he will try to talk to her and i am more important and he wont live me alone.

when are yu going to wake up? how old are you? why are you wasting your time with a man like that? a man who truly love you won't hurt you and won't run away from you.

My heart was once in pain too but you can try to get back your self esteem. Try to focus on yourself. Let the pain comes to you and accept it...do something useful like taking good care of yourself, cook some nice food, have a hobby. remember a man who won't leave the wife for you is not worth it.

well, i don't know what else to say. If you are brave and strong enough. then just at least try to move on and don;t stay there. if he is the one, he will come back to you one day. Also, don't call the wife, should care about her feeling too!!!