[rachel801]

I think women grow soft for men they love. They will do everything for them and give up their lives for them, And not to stereotype, but men (especially immature men) will usually think of themselves first, and if they feel like they can do better, they usually will, but they will still keep you hanging (for back up, or as another option). Conquering women is a way of building their egos, and it makes them feel like a man again. It's a very selfish reason for cheating, and women don't understand because we build emotional connections with lovers. But women love to feel attractive and wanted too.

So I say, stop focusing on him and start focusing on yourself! You are both so young and have plenty of opportunities! With him out of your life, you can feel empowered and sexy again. Right now you are completely emotionally dependent on him, partly because of your love for him, partly because he's the father of your child, but that's not healthy. Be a sexy independent woman! Right now you may not think you can do better but you can, TRUST me. Once he sees that you're over him, he's going to try to seduce you again to fuel his power trip, but don't give him the luxury. I know it's incredibly hard, but you'll thank yourself later. I'm going through the same thing right now (9 year relationship, but no child)...

Move on!

[rachel801]

Are there any ways I can feel better about myself that don't involve possibly being hurt more?

Watch Sex in the City

Hang out with girlfriends (or make some good ones)

Go to the gym

Join a group or a club or a sports league

Go back to school (you meet tons of great people there)

Travel. Seeing distance places increases widens your perspective of the world.

Remind yourself that YOU ARE YOUNG! Imagine how hard it would be if this happened when you were married and approaching 40!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

We attract the "wrong men", often with low self esteme, we're like the honey and they are the bees, waiting to sting you

So, your only way you can ensure that you go on a different journey is to take some considerable time out for yourself and work on you.

Use affirmations.. " I am beautiful & will only attract the right person"... for instance.

Start walking and seeing your body shape get even better and better.

Start eating healthy and feel it.

Start reading books of positive attitudes..

Write down all your goals that you want out of life, pick one that is easy and start on that goal right now...

Stick a post it sticker on your mirror " I love me"... Read it every day over and over.

As you build more strength, so you will build more confidence and then you will start seeing the players from the non-players and know exactly how to handle each type..

But, first you have to start with you.

CW