[QueenGinger]

So I've been dating the same guy for 2 yrs. now and we've had a rocky relationship from the start. Most of the time he's very nice and sweet (as long as he's not around his guy friends) and he's very cute. My only issue w/ his looks is that he's about 3in shorter then me so I've had to give up my beloved heels lol. Other then his few positives there tends to be alot of negatives. First and foremost he sometimes is an angry drunk and can get violent. But I've learned to just not be around him when he's drinking. Then as I mentioned before he is a cocky around his guy friends which is a total turn off. And now he's beginning to at me for not doing the same things as I did in the begining of the relationship and I've tried talking to him but can't get a clear answer other then I don't get as dolled up as I did before. Which I can agree w/ but I've never been a girly girl from the start. Then in this same conversation I had w/ him I mentioned (calmly) that we may not feel like gf and bf anymore b/c all he does is play video games 24/7. I get an hour of me and him time (not sex) each night b4 bed. I thought about leaving him but everyone I know is through him so I'd be completely alone. Also I don't want to be w/ out a companion at this point in my life, I'm 22 and I know thats young but I've always been the type to want to settle down. And don't get me wrong I do love him but I don't know if that love is turning into more of a friend love. Sorry for the super long thread...I just want to get someone else's feed back

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Too many times, people make management decisions based on "fear", "fear" of being on their own, starting all over again, they settle, all they think of is the dream they had and expect it will all change and so continue down that path.

He's "boy man" Has, to play his video games 24/7, be tough around his mates, wants you to look more like a handbag, when you go out.

There is no quality in this relationship is there.. You just gain 7hrs a week, if your lucky..

So, ask yourself, is that what your worth?

CW

[QueenGinger]

Yeah your are right. Also in the past when we've talked about our issues he's promised to change but that never happened. I guess I should stop wasting my time on him.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

People are who they are sweet.

Finding someone on the same page, is all you need to do, not go with someone and then try to change them, they can't, even if they say ok...

Live your life for you and find someone that loves all that about you and you'll be happy !!!

[kygirl]

People are who they are sweet.

Totally agree with CW! Don't waste time trying to change him. You deserve more!

Good luck

[rachel801]

It sounds like you need some "me" time.

Hey there,

I think you're giving him way more than you're getting back in the relationship, and you should be spending that time on YOU. Do things that YOU love, make friends that YOU chose. At least take some time off from him--I think you'll realize that you're happier without him. And you are SUPER young. Go out there and find out what YOU want, and then find a guy that will admire respect that.

[Month36]

I feel you completly, a lot of people don't realize how hard it is too leave when certain aspects of your realtionship are great and when after so many years of seeing the person you have become somewhat attached and you love them. I have been dating my bf for four years now and he sounds just like your man. He has a violent temper when he is drunk... and he seems to want nothing more than to play video games all day long. It completly frustrating because I know that he loves me.. I know that he would give me the world if he could but yet he rather sit in front of the xbox then do anything with me. Now i'm not much for advice since I haven't figured it out myself yet. But i'm learning that you have to realize that he's never going to change... and I guess sort of decide if you can be happy with him for that or not. If you can get used to life while he plays... if you can get used to not letting his anger get to you too much... if you can be happy like that and you love him you should stay. But if he's not giving you everything you need right now he probably never will and you have to let go. I myself... am still figuring out what I want, but I wish you the best of luck because I totally feel your pain.

[caterpillar79]

Co-dependency is what I am seeing right now. You give and give until your resources run out. Don't allow it, please.

We cannot change someone else other than ourselves. If for some reason, we are stuck in a situation, we can change the way we see it to make us feel better. You are not stuck, you are doing the right thing - that is to see where you're headed to.

Figure out what you really really want for yourself, regardless of him. Say for example, you are starting from scratch. Have some non-negotiables in place, then based on that, you can start giving him merit points and de-merits.

You are a woman who nurtures the man that you love, you deserve more back.

[sourpuss]

Should I stay w/ this guy? Please Help!

I've always said that if you're asking the question it's because you already know the answer to begin with.

[LanaBear]

Should I stay w/ this guy? Please Help!

I've always said that if you're asking the question it's because you already know the answer to begin with.

That is so true. I've never heard that before, but agree with it wholeheartedly!