[Mes T]

Alright guys, it's known that some animals mate for life, but clearly this is not the case for many of us humans.

Reading so many posts on relationship problems and seeing so many of my friends break up with their partners really makes me wonder if it's possible to find ONE person and be happy with him/her for the rest of your life.

My grandparents were together until the end, my parents are still going strong, but I'm finding that it's more and more difficult to find long-lasting relationships like that.

A friend of mine, with complete confidence said, we're not meant to be monogamous. What??

Are we all really doomed to view our partners as roommates at some point, to be sexually interested in others, and etc?

Discuss!

[x.st.angel.x]

Lol oh no!! i cant go on about this for hours haha!
Anyways heres how i see it, i think that society has changed so much and so quickly that its affecting how people think these days. What your friend says is proof of that.

"A friend of mine, with complete confidence said, we're not meant to be monogamous. What??"

That just stuns me, i dont want to be married over and over. I believe you can be with one person for your whole life and be happy. It depends on both parties and if both parties wish to make things work. If its one sided i can see where the problem is.

Everyone is different so if you find someone who matches you well i dont see any reason why it really couldnt work.

What do you think, is what im saying making sense?

[Mes T]

Okay, that's more along my line of thinking... Well, it WAS anyway, until I started having pessimistic friends.

I'm kind of a romantic who has been slowly crushed by reality... but trying not to lose hope!

[x.st.angel.x]

Dont lose hope! Think of your parents and grandparents, if they can do it you can too right??

It comes down to what you want and what you believe you can achieve in my opinion. As for your pessimistic friends it seems to me they have thier own views on things...dont let them change your way of thinking lol

[sourpuss]

I honestly think if it weren't for the awkwardness of the dating scene and the hard feelings when there's a break up, I could be very happy with a series of 5 year relationships for the rest of my life.

[Explorer44]

In my heart I believe it is possible but in my reality I am becoming more and more uncertain...

[x.st.angel.x]

Dont give up ladies..im sure theres a mr right out there for all of us!

[KMonte85]

I think it depends on the person. Some people seem to be more interested in monogomy and others are either wishy washy about being with one person for the rest of their life, or they know full on that they are not meant to be monogomous forever... (think George Clooney - the uber bachelor).

I'm pretty sure I've found my one person.. We've been together since I was a teenager.. I used to be a serial dater, not being with any guy for more than 3 months at a time before I got bored and moved on. Then I found my guy. Eight years later I'm still happy and haven't thought about moving on to the next... and as long as he feels the same, we're on the same page and we'll make it work.

Just depends what your state of mind is and what your SO's state of mind is...

[Hopeless Dork]

I think its possible, it just takes two like-minded people willing to make some sacrafices because they share the same goal: staying together.

We live in a society that encourages selfishness:

Your wife wont blow you? Leave her! You shouldn't live out the rest of your years unhappy!!

Your husband won't take salsa lessons with you? You need adventure, time to leave barney or for javier... he salsas!!

Compromises need to be made on both sides for a partnership to last.

A wife may say... I don't like giving head, its my body...I don't have to do a single thing I don't want and he should just get over it.

Fair? Unfair?

A husband might say... I refuse to look like a fool trying something new, why can't she just be happy watching monday night football with me and get over this 'try new things' phase.

Fair? Unfair?

The husband could learn to live without head and find other ways to be satisfied by his wife, The wife could learn to take an interest in football and take a solo salsa class on thursday nights...

Thats one compromise...

But another could be the wife gives in and blows the husband, the husband gives in and takes the darned salsa class.

Now I know the bj is an extreme example and the salsa a corny one... but couples divorce for far less. Its not about the acts or activities so much is it about the willingness to forgo some personal comforts to please the other person where its not painful or threatning to ones health.

I think the couples that decide to live half for themselves and half for making their partner happy will go the distance. Learning to agree to disagree, to not have to win every argument, to not have to get your way every single time will take people to the finish line together.

[Guest]

Of course it is possible. It is a matter of picking the right person, knowing them for some time. After the infatuation phase (hopefully, its not too long) passes, you see how they really are. You're not going to like everything, but some things are warning signs, while others are just irritants. Are you both willing to try and please the other, not every whim; but if it is really important to one, the other should do their best to try. As a wiser person than I once said:

But another could be the wife gives in and blows the husband, the husband gives in and takes the darned salsa class.