[leapfrog]

Last October I found out my husband was secretly talking to another woman on the phone for over 2 years. I spoke with the woman and she stated that she and my husband have been seeing each other for over 2 years, well my husband tells me a different story. Since last October I have caught my husband communicating with the woman 4 times, when he promised me he was not going to communicate with her anymore. The last I found out they were communicating again, she told me she was never going to stop being friends with my husband because theyhave a special relationship.
My husband keeps telling me that he and this woman had nothing, but I do not belive him. I am at the point that I do not like my husband, the sight of him makes me sick, I do not like being around him, I am so unhappy and anger. He insist that he loves me and want our marriage. What should I do?

Thanks,
Leapfrog

[LanaBear]

He needs to make a decision... Quite communicating with her or you walk. Right? You won't be happy if he doesn't, you don't like him now, if he doesn't cease the communication there will be no way for you to start liking him again. But the trick... How can you trust that he won't communicate with her?

Marriage counseling? Is that an option? Have him change his phone number. She is obviously bound and determined to keep the communication going, so HE needs to set his foot down with her and say no more.

Do you still love him? Can you ever trust him again?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sweet I am sorry.

How far away do they life from each other? If she is in another State, then he is seeking something, from someone else, why? What have you two lost between the pair of you?

It's easy to say go.. But that is if, you don't think you can fix the problem.

1. Your both are non attentive, have lost the fun, laughter, lust in your relationship, don't lie to yourself, think deeply.

2. He has always been a flirt and chances are, he has fun with that and will never change but doesn't cheat, or he is indeed a cheater, having best of both worlds, "love you babe"..... "It's you" , she means nothing.

Which one do you think?

CW

[Karma3]

Since last October I have caught my husband communicating with the woman 4 times, when he promised me he was not going to communicate with her anymore. The last I found out they were communicating again, she told me she was never going to stop being friends with my husband because theyhave a special relationship.
Leapfrog[/QUOTE]

It doesn't really sound like these two really give two hoots what you think...no respect from both. I guess your husband should sit down and really think about what he wants/needs more...you or her. If he maintains that it means nothing then he shouldn't have a problem shutting it down right? You are hurt by this, and if he can only think about how hurt this girl will be by shutting it down then something is very wrong. Don't waste another minute arguing about this with him, the solution is very simple and the ball is in his court.

[caterpillar79]

CW and the rest made good points. Evaluate yourself - what have you been doing before that you stopped doing? Do you think he's longing to see it with you? Feel the way he used to with you? What have been the changes, and for what reason?

We, ladies, often reflect on our behavior HOW our partners treat us - this could even be on a sub-conscious level and very difficult to spot. So, take your time before sitting him down. Search yourself thoroughly and then tell him how you feel about this.

Communicate with him and hopefully he is sensible enough to work with you if he really values your marriage and LOVES you. You deserve so much more, sweet.