[heryseshta]

My boyfriend is in the navy, he is gone for 3 months right now. I'm just finishing up the first month and it's killing me! He is on a submarine and we can't talk on the phone at all. I have a message from him saved on my phone so I can remember the sound of his voice. When his sub goes on alert he isn't able to email me, and I never know when to expect any emails I was told to not be surprised if I don't get an email for 2 months. Luckily I haven't had to wait that long, the max I have had to wait so far is 18 days. I can send him emails, however I have to keep in mind that about 4 other people are reading his emails before they get to him. Also I am not allowed to know the date when he gets home, I will know when I get a phone call after he comes to port. I know that I am going to wait for him because I really care for him, and I think he is worth it. You just have to think about whether or not your boyfriend is worth the wait. Does the time with him make up for the time without him?

[LanaBear]

I can't imagine it is easy. You both are doing without when he leaves. I've never been in this situation before, but I would like to say, Yes, the time with him would make up for the time without. But, loneliness is loneliness, so in reality, I'm not sure.

Maybe some others have thoughts and experiences they can share.

[KMonte85]

That must be very tough on both of you! I've done the long distance thing, which is hard enough, but it is really hard when you can't have phone convo's and can only email here and there with a few prying eyes in between.

All I can say is that if both of you love each other and are willing to make this sacrifice then you can make it work! There are military wives and girlfriends all over the world that make it work every day, some have been doing it for years!

Have you thought about joining a support group for the signifcant others of deployed military men and women? They might have some great advice for you on how to deal with the distance and keep the relationship going! Or maybe like Lana said someone here might have some input too!

[Ahryin]

I have a lot of family members in the armed forces and I can tell you that I know its hard! However it is all based on your strength as a woman...if you stay that is. My simple answer is LOVE is ALWAYS worth it! If he is who you want to be with then wait. Do other things for instance when he comes home have him make you a video with basic things like "baby I love you and I miss you just as much as you love and miss me" make tons of videos. My uncle video tapes himself reading books for his son and daughter. Its hard but it is worth it. They are fighting to protect all of us and they deserve to have someone wait for them

[heryseshta]

The funny thing is that before I met him I decided to never again date another navy guy. My previous boyfriend was ex navy, and lets just say that I am still recovering from that. I think Khris is worth it, it's just getting frustrating. What is even more frustrating is that while we are emailing back and forth when we can we are only partially getting to know each other. Apparently his captain reads all of the emails and gave him about him wanting to cuddle. I actually got mad about that and put in a little message to the captain...Something told me it wouldn't make matters worse and I think I was right. Another frustrating thing is that we haven't been dating for that long, yet he is already talking about us moving in together and eventually getting married...I have been trying to tell him to slow down since we only had about a month of dating before he was sent out. This is the first time I have ever dated someone on active duty and it is just getting to me I guess. At least it is better than I thought it would be. As soon as Khris left one of my friends was telling me about how her cousin was dating a navy guy and I would be lucky if I got even one email in the entire 3 months and to not even bother hoping he would get in on time.
I don't think I will join a support group, I have quite a few things to keep me busy right now that I don't think I really need it. And also I recently started talking to the wife of one of his friends. It does help for the most part, but it's still weird.
Anyways, I think I'm done whining for a while...

[heryseshta]

The funny thing is that before I met him I decided to never again date another navy guy. My previous boyfriend was ex navy, and lets just say that I am still recovering from that. I think Khris is worth it, it's just getting frustrating. What is even more frustrating is that while we are emailing back and forth when we can we are only partially getting to know each other. Apparently his captain reads all of the emails and gave him about him wanting to cuddle. I actually got mad about that and put in a little message to the captain...Something told me it wouldn't make matters worse and I think I was right. Another frustrating thing is that we haven't been dating for that long, yet he is already talking about us moving in together and eventually getting married...I have been trying to tell him to slow down since we only had about a month of dating before he was sent out. This is the first time I have ever dated someone on active duty and it is just getting to me I guess. At least it is better than I thought it would be. As soon as Khris left one of my friends was telling me about how her cousin was dating a navy guy and I would be lucky if I got even one email in the entire 3 months and to not even bother hoping he would get in on time.
I don't think I will join a support group, I have quite a few things to keep me busy right now that I don't think I really need it. And also I recently started talking to the wife of one of his friends. It does help for the most part, but it's still weird.
Anyways, I think I'm done whining for a while...

[PJhavinfunagain]

As a wife of a former submariner I can sympathize. We were not a couple while he was still in service but good friends. I did date my share of sub guys and it can be tough. Underways basically S*CK! You need to learn to have your own life and have confidence in your relationships. I soooo do not miss the drama of the Navy girlfriend/wife. It can be such a soap opera... I'm sure you know the types I am talking about. If you like this guy enough I would give it a chance. Don't worry about the captain, I'm sure other guys are getting ribbed too. If your guy doesn't mind go for it. Good luck!

[caterpillar79]

Whoever he is, for as long as you love him, and he loves you back the way you deserve to be loved, he is always worth the wait no matter what.

Be strong. Men in the service need women like you - nurturing, patient, loyal and loving.