[gina13]

hi um i havent been on this site in quite sum time,, but i found myself at a really bad postition now and idk watto do,, so i figured i could maybe get sum responses from other women ,,,ive had a bf now,, for 13 months,, we fight alot and we argue,, but we both make it obvious we love each other very much,, i live in ny,, and he lives in fl,, sometimes wen we get into a big fight,, he drinks,,, and well yesterday he recieved a phone call from a woman,, and she said that he gother pregnant,,,, he says he doesnt rememeber doing it,, and honestly i belive him,, bc there was a time wen he took a large amt of pills and i had a whole conversation with him,, where he thought i was sumone else,, and he never rememebred it,, he is telling me to leave him bc he is no good,, and i always told myself if sumone cheated on me,, i would leave them,, and now i find myself in this position,, with sumone i truly love ,, and i cant even come to say that i hate him,, i hope its not his child,, he keeps appoligizing,, and iasked him if he thinks he actually did do this,, and he said yea i prolly did,, i hate her,, bc everyone who is friends with him and around him knows he has a gf,, and i cant stop picturing it,, in my head wat they must of did together,, i love him,, and im just so sad,, and confused,, he was my first everything,, the only thing we havent done was reg sex,, idk wat to do im so lost,, he said he would never,, and especially bc girls did it to him so many times,, and broke his heart and all,, can sumone plz give me sum advise,,i really need it and idk wat to do

[kygirl]

Gina,

First off, has this always been long distance? How often do you see each other?

Secondly, if he is drinking that much that he slept with someone and possibly got her pregnant, he has issues he's going to need to work through.

I'd walk away. I know you care about him, but that's just unacceptable behavior, and how will you ever be able to trust him? How many times would you be able to let him get away with not remembering things he did.

Sorry dear

[sourpuss]

What exactly do you love about him? It can't possibly be the way he treats you! (not what he says, but how he actually TREATS you) Doesn't sound very loving to me.

I'd run for the hills while you can still dodge this bullet, no matter how painful it may seem right now.

[arabellafigg]

You need to think long and hard about what you want to do. Wether he meant to do it or not, this girl is still pregnant, maybe you can 'hope' it's not his. But i think you will only be kidding yourself. I have a child, her father is with someone else. I have to exersice much self controll because in my mind, he is off having a nice time with her and has been for the last two years while i have been left to do all the dirty work. She will always have the upperhand on your relationship because he will have to support the child financially if nothing else and this will impact on you long term. And you will have to be able to accept his child with someone else, which again is going to be difficult. And it isn't her falut, it takes two to tango.

[sourpuss]

Even if he didn't get another woman pregnant. He still sounds like someone less than ideal to put it politely.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

we fight alot and we argue,, but we both make it obvious we love each other very much,,

sometimes wen we get into a big fight,, he drinks,,,

the only thing we havent done was reg sex,,

When two people "argue" so much, they are not compatible.

There is "love" and there is "in-love".

If he doesn't have sex with you, and he had sex with her, then who else did he have sex with these past 13 months, "drunk or not drunk", isn't it maybe a case of this time he possibly got caught because this lady fell pregnant and the odds of falling pregnant on a one night stand is feasible but more feasible with on-going sex, more than once.

IDK, Gina, I'm not buying the "drunk" long distance can also mean this is my lady, she's mine, but I can do what I want because she's not around to see it...

Be sure that this was in-deed a one night stand... And, also be sure that your needs are and have been met. You don't spend much time with him at all with long distance, and you fight like cats and dogs, are you really sure this man is for you anyway?

CW