[jnd2009]

A co-worker invited me to her wedding, it's coming up in March. We work in a restaurant (quick, easy money to get through college). We have never really hung out outside of work- the extent of that is hang out in the bar after work and talk and have a shift drink. Well here's the question- I'm wondering what to do about her present. She's registered at 3 places, 2 are more pricey stores in general, 1 is a common department store in the US....but I think they picked out the most expensive things they sell there! My boyfriend was not invited (due to money issues, since we're only coworkers), so I figured one less person to say the gift is from, so I won't spend as much. I really can't afford anything on her registry without looking like an idiot. For example, it would look dumb if I only gave her a plate she wants, but yet the darn thing costs $60! So I'm thinking just a gift card to one place they're registered at- but how much is reasonable? I struggle with money since I'm in school, but I don't want to go empty handed or cheap-looking.

[Sprite]

Remember that gifts are about the thought, not about who bought what and who spent how much.
I'm sure your co-worker would just be happy with the thought; I don't know anyone who wouldn't be.
Of course she wouldn't be offended. I'm sure she will understand. She probably won't even think of it like that anyway.

[KMonte85]

Gift Registries are just suggestions for the guests, not a requirement! Even though some soon-to-wed couples may not see it that way!

I think a gift card to on of the stores on the registry is a great idea! Undoubtedly as she goes through her married life she is going to need something she didn't get as a gift from other guests, then she'll have your gift card on hand to get what she would want.

Spend what you think is appropriate for an aquantance - you definitely do not have to feel pressured into spending money you don't have on someone who is not even a close friend. Anything you give her is considered a gift - a GIFT. You could give her $5 and it should be accepted with the same graciousness and gratitude as a $500 gift.

So, what I'm saying is, spend what you are comfortable spending, given your student status!

[WildChild]

Are there any other co-workers invited? If so why not pool your resources and purchase a gift from the group?

[kygirl]

Are there any other co-workers invited? If so why not pool your resources and purchase a gift from the group?

I like WC's idea...maybe you could all pool your resources between 8-10 of you and get her a nice gift but only have to contribute like $20-25 each?

[Guest]

do the gift card thing. a friend of mine got married a few years ago and she did the same thing. i looked at the registry and the stuff was crazy over priced. and it's also weird where you can buy like one plate and she was looking for 12 for a set. what if only 5 people pick to give a plate?

card is just so much easier, that way she can decide which she really wants most.

i was always told at least enough to cover whatever the "seat cost" for the caterer per person would be. A few times I didnt want to spend that much, so I just sent a gift and didnt attend.

[jnd2009]

well thank you everyone! I'm going to work tonight so I will see what the other girls are doing. It's not many of us, I'd say maybe 5 other girls were invited. Thank you for all of the ideas!

[rcoreyus]

Maybe its just me, but I find gift registries somewhat distasteful. It feels like an attempt to recoup the investment in the wedding. I'd much prefer a cheap informal wedding (more fun for all), and gifts as minor personal things.

[Explorer44]

I don't mind registries, I think they can be helpful.

But, you are certainly free to give the gift card...or join with others to 'upgrade'..some coworkers I know recently did that for a baby shower.