[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sam's become the attention giver that Mark is not (if that makes sense). I mean, I still get jealous when Mark goes down to see his best friend. Maybe that's just it.. ATTENTION. I don't feel like Mark gives me the attention I want even though we are ALWAYS together.

When two people are in "sync" they know it.. There aren't any quarrels, rather "talks" that eventuate into a compromise and lots of laughter and just the look of them makes you feel love and devotion.

When you don't have all of that and it's a constant fight to get it, it's called settling and then someone comes into the picture that adds the missing links and you find yourself drawn to that person as well.

Like having two people in your life, one compensating for the other, so you can have that "whole"...

When I left my husband, I had a few "internet" guys, quite a few, it was good for the boost of my ego but I knew that's all it was.

It made me see all I truly missed out on and that not one person is alike.

I got swept away twice, with "talk" via the internet and met both men. Neither, in real life was what I was after, yet in the internet world they were well, "the world"..

People can chat away via the internet, and be free. In real life, it's totally different.

What it is telling me Neaky is that you "want" Mark to be the be all and end all but he isn't exactly that and that you are finding that you want to "find" that person but are torn because of the time you two have spent together.

If the shoe doesn't fit, then I'm sorry it doesn't fit.

Put the glass slipper out on the ledge and see what happens

CW

[Neaky]

What it is telling me Neaky is that you "want" Mark to be the be all and end all but he isn't exactly that and that you are finding that you want to "find" that person but are torn because of the time you two have spent together.

Blahh.. Why must you always be right CW!? LOL. Its so hard because I don't want to hurt Mark at all.. I love him so much but it's just the same over and over again. Everyone says "you shouldn't have to change who you are to make the person you're with happy.. they should love you for who you are." I love him but sometimes I don't love the things he does.. I'm guessing that's pretty much the same. He doesn't want me to leave, and he wants to be with me (so he keeps saying) but I just don't know.

[Neaky]

in the end, mark and i are still together.. he is now showing that he cares and wants to be with me. i hurt him really bad. i dont think i have ever seen him cry like that :\ as for "sam", we arent talking anymore. my choice, no one elses.

[caterpillar79]

in the end, mark and i are still together.. he is now showing that he cares and wants to be with me. i hurt him really bad. i dont think i have ever seen him cry like that :\ as for "sam", we arent talking anymore. my choice, no one elses.

Glad you made that choice. Be consistent with it. Good luck, and I wish you happiness.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Blahh.. Why must you always be right CW!? LOL. Its so hard because I don't want to hurt Mark at all.. I love him so much but it's just the same over and over again. Everyone says "you shouldn't have to change who you are to make the person you're with happy.. they should love you for who you are." I love him but sometimes I don't love the things he does.. I'm guessing that's pretty much the same. He doesn't want me to leave, and he wants to be with me (so he keeps saying) but I just don't know.

Blahh cause I'm a white witch

Well that's good, you achieved what you set out to do, don't back down though start communicating, seems he has someone he doesn't want to lose and is willing to work with you, so work it mam.

[kurisupiaisukuriimu]

I have had this similar situation. Whenever I posted my im address on forums and sites [because there's the option of doing so], random guys would just message me for the heck of it, and I'd sit there and talk, because I just like to talk. I always feel like I'm more able to talk to guys than girls because I'm kinda rough around the edges. I grew up in a lot of foster homes that the majority were guys, so that's all I knew how to be, was just one of the guys. xD

But then when my boyfriend started looking at the message windows and asking me who I was talking to, I knew he was uncomfortable with it. I'd say that it was just 'nothing' and even try to be sarcastic and say "Oh yeah, I'm really going to run away to California to be with this guy!" Not the best course of action to take, but I was just being immature about it and not in tune to how he was feeling because I don't have many friends and just talking to anyone keeps me occupied.

However, I did notice that guys here and there would just say stupid and flirtatious things and I'd ignore them, and if I got too fed up, I'd block them. I'd tell my boyfriend I could just easily block them, but then he said that the fact that they say it, just lets them believe that they can get away with it. All in all, I saw how bad it was making him feel and I know how jealous I can get, so I stopped. However, I did tell him that if I was talking to a guy I knew waaaay before he came along, I wouldn't stop talking to him, because they are practically my friend, and I just leave it at that. He doesn't seem to mind though after I cleared it up by making myself perfectly clear. Half the time I don't even talk to my old buddies online that much anymore because they have lives and I have mine, but if they're online, I'll say hi and we'll converse for a bit, but then we don't say much after that. So yeah. Fact of the matter is, if you truly don't wanna lose your guy, you might want to work it out. If this guy is someone you knew before you're boyfriend, I don't see how it would be a problem, because if you guys made it clear you had no feelings for each other [I'm pretty upfront with people, and the things I say make it obvious], then I don't see how it would affect him so much.

Also, my boyfriend isn't that motivated either, but I'm ambitious and more motivated than he is, so I use that to my advantage and just tell him in a nice way, that he should be doing this and that. It helps. Because he doesn't know everything. Your boyfriend doesn't know everything, and neither do you, so that's why you should be there for each other by helping each other and guiding each other. n_n