[x.st.angel.x]

Ok so this thread is going to try determine what goes on with the opposite sex.

As a lot of you know recently i heard that my bf had spent the night with another chick and i caught them in bed together the next morning.
His reaction to everything i said didnt quite make sense to me....I am slowly moving on but for future reference this would be good to know.

He has been texting me saying he's so so sorry and he misses me yet we cant be together. He has a lot of emotional baggage. He's drinking till he passes out, taking a lot of pain fillers unnecessarily. Obviously he is depressed. He is getting a lot of words from his friends and my friends for what he did, fair enough though.
My quesstion is, why put someone you care for through all that?? then apologise? Why not just not do it in the first place...etc?

Please note i dont need advice on what to do in MY situation.... i just want a big discussion on these kind of issues in relationships.,..

Discuss....

[Sprite]

Okay, you DEFINITELY have to read my book! It explains EVERYTHING!!!
I have read about how men and women handle stress differently and this can have a major effect with everything they do.

Seriously, I have to see you soon!! You have to read it! It will answer all your questions!

[x.st.angel.x]

You know me and reading :P but i wouldnt mind though

I think men and women are wired differently in the brain! and its a fair generalisation but i think women are more willing to try understand a man than a man is for a woman. Maybe we're just too complicated??

[Sprite]

No trust me...this book isn't like a story. Its literally just advice on how both sexes react and work differently.

[x.st.angel.x]

Has it been tested

[Sprite]

Yes, this author (John Gray) has run seminars and everything. He has saved so many marriages... he has done 7 years of research for this book. He is a counsellor and as he began sharing this information with his clients, their relationships were enriched.

In the book it states 'Literally thousands of people who attend his weekend seminars saw their relationships drastically transform.' Seven years later individuals and couples still report successful benefits.

In his introduction it says 'All of the principles in this book have been tested and tried.'

[x.st.angel.x]

Wow!! sounds like a book everyone should have!


Maybe discuss some of the things?

[Sprite]

Okay well I would like to discuss the chapter two, which is based on how men and women deal with their problems.

John states that 'Men become increasingly focused and withdrawn while women become increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved.'

Have you guys ever noticed that men never really talk about their problems...unless he is seeking advice or pushing the blame onto someone else?

I think the main problem with this is that women like to talk about their problems with a woman they trust because it makes them feel better, whereas when they tell a man about their problem, he automatically will think that the woman is seeking his advice or blaming him for her problems...when that is not true, she is just getting everything off her chest. But when a man doesn't talk about his problems and goes off into 'hibernation' whilst he sorts them out, the woman always thinks she has done something wrong for him to be that unsociable with her and she may not be getting the quality attention she deserves, or she may feel that he doesn't trust her, when that isn't the case at all.

What do all you ladies think about this? Has any of you actually figured this out already?

[x.st.angel.x]

Yes i have actually figured it out and i find the clash really hard to deal with actually. I still find it frustrating because i try to let a guy 'hybernate' and not interfere with thier process as i wish they do the same for mine.

But when they cut contact, it makes you feel like there's either more going on, or you have done something wrong....

Its just a cycle i suppose...

[Sprite]

Yeah, I think it is.
I think the problem is that we forget that we're different...we haven't figured each other out completely yet...so matter how much you think you know someone...I don't think you ever completely 'know' them at all.
You may know their interests, personality and how they live...but you can never really tell how they will react to something or the things that are going through their minds.