[kurisupiaisukuriimu]

Well hello there. I must say, when I stumbled upon this I thought "Yes! No little kids on the forums I usually visit", so that I can get some real answers. x_x I'm only 21, but still, advice from a 15 year old just wouldn't cut it because I deal with things totally different from them at this point in time...but anyway! xD

So, I've been working at this job for about six months now...and I'm always wondering if my boss likes me. It's so odd...I have a boyfriend, and have decided to be committed to him. We are always talking about getting married, and I'm in love with him deeply. I'm a pretty faithful person as well.

Well, when I first started working at this job, I was just a sales girl. But the few employees there that knew my boss longer than me obviously, would do minor things to make it seem as though my boss was attracted to me.

Like...when I made my first sale (which wasn't actually done on my own), the store manager bragged about it to my boss, and then he came back to me and said "So and so was so impressed with your sale!", but the way he said it was as if there were something more he was trying to hint at in his tone of voice. Or maybe I was just being paranoid.

At any rate, I have worked alongside my boss in that store plenty of times and was just comfortable just doing my job and such. The store would be dead for a few hours sometimes, so we'd just chit-chat. And I found that a lot of the time, he'd really be open with me about his family and other things in his life. His goals and things he wanted to accomplish. He would also stare at me alot. Or I'd look at him and see him smiling, and when I ask him what that's all about, he'd just say "nothing." Guy is about 30-something, but I don't think he has a girlfriend from what his secretary said, because he's too 'picky'. And it shows let me tell you...

But then, when it was time to close up the store the night, we'd walk to the train. He'd always ask which train I had to take, or act as though he were eager about something. It always weirded me out a little, but maybe I gave the impression that I was 'backing off' so to speak, so I wouldn't be giving the wrong impression.

Well, skip forward to the future, and now I work at the office alongside him. I was always wondering why I got moved to my position so quickly. And even why I'm still there, considering the fact that most bosses aren't so lenient with me, and I'd probably be fired over too many sick days and all the like. I generally try to do a good job and keep my boss happy. I do what I'm told, and never question anything. [Not that they give me a reason to question anything...] Being a good employee is what I strive for at this point in my life. Well, I've noticed, that when his secretary isn't around, he's more upbeat around me. He's a pretty busy person, but I can always tell when he's happy and when he's not in a good mood. I try to walk on eggshells all the time if he's in a bad mood, I feel it's best just not to get in his way on that one. But yeah, he'll always ask how I'm doing. He really seems like he genuinely wants to know if I'm ok. He'd always tell me I'm doing a great job, even if it was something so minor and trivial. He's complimented me a lot, and it always catches me off guard, so I just do my best to say thank you and think that he's just being nice. Even his secretary would hint things, and smile a lot whenever she mentioned something about him, but when I pressed her about it, she just said "Oh nothing!". It was so weird to me that everyone was acting so slyly. I figured they were just messing with my head. I mean, in the beginning I thought my boss was gay until the gay store manager told me otherwise! And the store manager would always say things like "So and so said that you smile at [insert name of boss here] all the time. And you're always giving him the eyes." and he'd say this in a joking manner, but I'd just laugh it off and say it wasn't true. Of course it wasn't true, and I figured he was just exaggerating. Because I know that my boss' secretary wouldn't say things like that. But they do chit chat to each other quite a bit, so I never would really know what they talk about anyway.

Well, I must be on my way now. I know it was a lot, but I really have to provide as much information as possible, because this is really confusing me! Even if I know, I won't pursue anything, but gosh, I don't want to keep wondering. I just want to move on in my thoughts. Haha!

Ok, thanks for listening. Hope to see some comments soon.

[newhere808]

It certainly sounds as if there is an attraction, though it may not be a romantic attraction. I've read of some cases where bosses will get attached to employee's typically fresh new faces, and treat them as their confidant of sorts. Whether he is intrested in you romantically or as someone he can relate to and relax around, I would advise you to be very cautious not to give any fuel to your coworkers about possible return of said feelings.

Even though you plan to stay faithful to your guy (thumbs up) coworkers seldom need any shred of proof before they make a huge deal out of nothing, and it can affect your job negatively. You certainly don't want to give your boss the cold shoulder, but I don't think it too wise to be overly warm to him either.

[rcoreyus]

He may be attracted to you, but doesn't want to pursue it both because you have a boyfriend and because there can be serious ethical problems with having a relationship with an employee.

I think it is fine to be friendly, even a tiny bit of flirting, but be careful you don't let it go to far without solving the above problems.

[Hopeless Dork]

Interoffice flirting is what gets a lot of people through the hectic day at work. With sexual harassment laws, it has to be done on a very very innocent level as to not be missinterperrated as harassment.

Its likely he may not be interested in persuing anything with you, but finds you attractive and you may brighten his day a bit being around. I don't think there is anything too harmful in that.

Be careful accepting raises and promotions that you feel you did not deserve over others because of preferrencial treatment in the event that the ones that give them come calling on favors later... etc. You have to be confident enough that you are doing a good job and feel like you deserve them. Don't feel intimidated, or forced to dress or behave in ways to make him like you, just do your job... that is all you are required by law to do. And being polite and courteous of course.

But if you don't feel like flirting or catering to his smiling whims, don't feel that you have to just because he's your boss.

It sounds pretty harmelss to me unless he begins to lay a hand on you, ogle you to the point you feel uncomfortable, asking favors of you that he doesn't other employees, or trying to get you to attend outside of work functions with him that you don't want to attend.

[kurisupiaisukuriimu]

Whew. That helps a lot! n_n Soo many different responses, but still helpful nonetheless. Now I can carry on about my business like I usually have. xD