[PJhavinfunagain]

I would tell your guy to keep the texting under control. It can be distracting and rude even to an 11year old. I understand it is all new and exciting but his daughter needs to know that when he is with her she has his attention.

I was very resentful when my mom started dating again. But then again she never talked to me about any of it. It just happened that suddenly here were these men. Even when I asked her to not sleep with them if I was around (I was15). She did it anyway, ****ed me off that she had no respect for me. But she thought I had no respect for her and that she was an adult and could do what she wanted. I could go on and on but will not...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ahhh I felt that frustration of your past then

We only usually text once only, and that's goodnight. It was on one occasions where there were 3 text messages each and that's all, just the once.

Mmmm.. I had a thought haha.

I think he had suggested she come over and swim today, to her and he got a text this morning, that she was sick and therefore, not going to school and so they are home together now.

I'm going to ask him, if he felt that she was actually sick, little gut feeling is telling me that she may actually have had a little anxiety and does know that I'm his girlfriend, especially seeing as it's 36 degrees and summer now.

If that's the case, then he'll have to wear a couple of months as she's not ready to meet me, simply put and I won't put her through that...

[happy ending]

it is a bit different but my daughter was 9, when i got involved with my fella. she just thought he was a friend, even when we started sharing a bed. but i think you've got the right idea, ie swim in the pool, have a bit of fun, but dont expect to be BFF's.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Thanks Happy

I'm relieved as well, his daughter is actually really sick, runny nose and all...

Guess that's the path I'll keep going down then....

[pretzel]

If I may,

When my wife and I really began seriously dating, my daughter was 13, her daughter 12. First and foremost, don't take anything they say personally. She more than likely will try to compare you to her mom, will do everything they can to steal the spotlight.

Don't let that get under your skin. Also, don't dissassociate yourself from CD. I wouldn't be the lovey dovey lady you may be when the 2 of you are alone, but don't be a wall flower. She'll pick up on that in an instant and will take advantage of it.

Once she sees that her dad is happy and the 2 of you make a great couple, she'll probably want to be a part of it.

Enjoy the time. My guess is she's alot like her dad.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ahh Pretzel, oh wise one

I didn't think of that. The "wall flower" bit.. but it makes perfect sense.

She looks like her Mum, but I'm also betting she is very much like her Dad as well.

Her Mum is competitive, treats her like a "sister", not a daughter and therefore, she has no one to turn to for problems in her life...

Her Dad, is affectionate, placid to a degree, quiet, "compared to me" and loves being loved and giving love.

I suspect that I may be a good thing for her as time goes by, I have an understanding of children, somehow, considering I never had them I think, you make perfect sense and a good perspective of this for me, thank you.

[pretzel]

Ahh Pretzel, oh wise one

I didn't think of that. The "wall flower" bit.. but it makes perfect sense.

She looks like her Mum, but I'm also betting she is very much like her Dad as well.

Her Mum is competitive, treats her like a "sister", not a daughter and therefore, she has no one to turn to for problems in her life...

Her Dad, is affectionate, placid to a degree, quiet, "compared to me" and loves being loved and giving love.

I suspect that I may be a good thing for her as time goes by, I have an understanding of children, somehow, considering I never had them I think, you make perfect sense and a good perspective of this for me, thank you.

More like old and in the way

I suspect you may be right about how your relationship will evolve. Quite honestly after reading these boards for the last few months allows me to say that at least as far as you're concerned.

However, 11 year old girls are different.

Just something to keep in the back of your mind if you and CD haven't already talked about this. How did his daughter take the divorce? You said it's only been less than a year, that may be something to consider especially if you're the first "friend" he's introduced to her.

If CD's daughter is still keeping hopes of her mom and dad getting back together that may make for a tenuous situation. Don't let CD allow that to happen. He's going to be as much responsible for how you 2 interact as anyone.

Quite honestly, you'll learn just as much about CD when the three of you get together.

YOU WILL BE FINE THOUGH. JUST TAKE THE SAME ADVICE YOU SO GRACIOUSLY GIVE TO OTHERS AND BE YOURSELF...........

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sorry pretzel I missed your post

They actually separated 9 months ago, in Australia you have to be separated for 12 months before you can Divorce, not sure how that is over there

I am the first friend he has introduced, yep it's happened

Here is how it panned out... and yes I did learn alot more about CD, David.... AND it's long.

And NOOOO I wasn't fine hahahaha and then I was, okay so here is what happened.

CD told me that he was going to bring Paige over on Friday after school for a swim, just like that, but then he did ask me "are you ready?", as in to do this. He then informed me (as they don't use a house phone), that she has called her Mum from his mobile and off course, there is a picture of us on the mobile phone, so she knows. I basically thought about it and thought, well, now, later, okay she knows, if she agrees then who am I to say no? So, I said fine by me.

Yesterday was the day. I reminded him to give her all the attention but it did work out differently.

He used the remote control to get inside the driveway, haha, and she asked how come he had it, he stated, well CW didn't know if she'd be home or not when we got here. Then he went to the fridge and got a beer. Seriously, lol's.. Okay, yeah friends help themselves.. mmm.

We said hello, I walked her outside to show her a cocky stuck in a tree, asking her if she'd like to see it as it talks, they went in the pool, I sat and watched, they played and it was really cute, on occasions I'd warn her "watch out" as her Dad, was about to tip her over, things like that...

There was one awkward moment where we then sat on the outdoor setting and I basically said " well I can hear a pin drop, oi you two, you can talk too and laughed" they laughed and I tried to ask questions but not too many, about her netball, school.. she answered them. She was patting my small dog (who doesn't let anyone pat her), so i told her that, then she commented on my other dog, I asked about her dog, which she suprised me by saying " ruby? the one that was here the other night or the other dog?" WT? haha, seems Dad told her something.

I went to work for just over an hour. When I came back they were watching TV, I bought my girlfriend in with me.

The four of us talked, laughed and ordered pizza.

I was showing Paige a group of photos on the wall, when I was blonde, and again, she suprised me and turned around and said, "Yes Dad has one of those on his printer". I said, huh? He printed one? She said no a photo, and David said "the photo you gave me" Oh dear lord, lol's that was a modelling shot. Okay, deep breathe and a sip or 6 of wine....................

Then David had a huge grin on his face and said, good news... So i walked him outside, she followed, so I said, sorry sweet, thought we'd come out here and finish the cigarettes, didn't want her to feel that I was talking behind her. So, she said, good it stinks, we laughed and she went back inside.

Turns out he asked her what she thought of me. She said, "she's nice, I like her" so he then proceeded to say............................................... .."you know she's my girlfriend don't you" to which she replied " Well, yeah I'm not stupid"

So, from there, I got her to choose *our* pizza, and then said, ahh I'm too old, can't see properly can you mark them for us so we can order, she circled them in like 3 seconds, we laughed, I involved her in all conversations, tickled her a couple times, like i do her Dad, over comments, it went really well, until she proceeded to tell me I needed a Plazma TV lol's.. Just kidding.

So, we ate, she said she was full and I said, "na you just pinch the topping and leave the base, so she did, lol's

They left, and both waved to me, smiling.

So, I guess it went really, really well. And, I was accepted.

And, she's an intelligent little thing....

Watching them together was beautiful, how he treats her is how he treats me, cute, fun, cheeky and loving...........................

[LanaBear]

Awww - that is so awesome. I had my fingers crossed so hard for you!

You worried your kind heart for no reason!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I know, you did beautiful I know..

Thanks heeps.. Yeah I did huh but who knew? 9 months isn't long but I guess she's a smart little thing And, was okay with the whole idea providing I was "okay", lol's..

I did catch her checking me out a few times in the pool... hehe.