[Em25]

Hi everyone

Really needing some advice. I have been with someone for about a year now, everything was great in the beginning but now things are beginning to change. I have had 3 other serious relationships before so im not a newbie to the world of men's way's but even so, i am starting to doubt myself on a lot of things. Firstly, he has a roving eye, he looks at other girls when he is with me but makes out he isnt, and i thought he was really chuffed to be with me but seems its not the case if he has to look around, its really embarrassing and i have approached him about it cos it started to upset me but he said he wasnt which just made me feel stupid. Secondly, the sex is rubbish, it lasts for about 2 minutes and its all about him pleasing himself and not caring about my needs, again i have broached this subject tactfully and he took it on board but nothing has changed. Thirdly, he is going on a selection of holidays this year, with mates etc and its almost like he is just acting like he is still single so he gets me with all the other bits, like he isnt catering anything for me and carrying on like im not around. I constantly feel like im not that important to him as we can only see each other weekends and if he books things to do like see bands etc on those weekends i just dont see him so in the past its been up to 3 weeks to a month before we have seen each other again. He tells me i waste my money on so many things but when he wants to pay stupid money for a show or something else that interests him then its fine. I dont care what he pays for what but it does then bother me when he then insults whatever i choose to buy. I feel like i should explain myself for every little thing. He takes all comments to heart and everytime i feel any kind of doubt or problem that i wish to discuss he turns it around and makes me feel stupid and thick for even thinking it hence i then end up reduced to tears and feel guilty for even thinking or feeling it. Now its got to the point where he is asking me to see him more often where he lives rather than him coming to see me so again i feel like i have to make all the effort. When i sit back and think about it, things were never bad like this. When we first started going out he was a true gent and i fell for him easily. So basically what i want to know is that with everything taken into account above, do i have a reason to feel upset or am i overreacting? because he has made me feel like i am overreacting on everything (very clever) so i dont know anymore and really need some advice.

Thank you.

[newhere808]

Honestly, and i'm sure it's not the advice you want to heart, but you should really just leave him. No one deserves to be treated the way he is treating you based on your description. Don't stick around and let him treat you like this.

[Mes T]

I completely agree with newhere. You deserve to be in a real relationship, respected, loved, and treated like an equal. It seems you're certainly not getting any of this now.

Forget how he was in the "beginning." So many people, men and women, essentially hide their true selves until they've "reeled" the other person in, and then they feel comfy that they've got you for keeps and begin to let go. I'm experiencing something of the sort myself right now, with my own boyfriend.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Thirdly, he is going on a selection of holidays this year, with mates etc and its almost like he is just acting like he is still single so he gets me with all the other bits, like he isnt catering anything for me and carrying on like im not around

You know in your heart that he scored, now he's controlling and just making you do everything he wants, including expecting you to accept.

When we first started going out he was a true gent and i fell for him easily.

All "people" don't show their cards directly, it's called, winning, and once they have your heart, they show their true colours.

because he has made me feel like i am overreacting on everything (very clever) so i dont know anymore and really need some advice.

Yep, emotional abuse.

Now its got to the point where he is asking me to see him more often where he lives rather than him coming to see me

And you have sex most of these times? And, so he gets what he wan'ts can't be bothered... Your not as important, it's all about him.

Please walk.

You deserve better and your viewing like alot of people do, the beginning and "trying to get that back".. The beginning was about winning... The truth is what you are seeing..

CW

[stressed]

You're not happy in this relationship. Like it's been said, how they were 'in the beginning' doesn't matter. An ex of mine was a great guy and a gentleman for 3 months. On the 4th month he turned 'insane', jealous and became violent.
There's clearly something wrong in your relationship, this man doesn't show maturity or interest. You can't feel secure with him, you have doubts and this will only become worse considering his lack of interest to listen to you. Let him wait for a visit or a call and just cut this down slowly.

[Guest]

you are an attractive, intelligent, and good hearted person.

being the amazing young woman you are, I dont understand why why you would still want to be with him. you should be treated much better than he seems to be treating you, and you deserve to be loved and respected by someone who truly cares about you and can show it they way you should be shown.