[sarahlee20]

I think it's good that you've realized your mistakes and learning your lesson. The good part is is your paying it off now little by little. I would wait and tell your bf if it either happens to come up i mean i wouldn't try to hide it from him. That might only make it worse.Or if it only the relationship becomes seroious as in longer term, possible engagement etc. Who knows by that time you may have it all paid off I thought i'd visit your post and leave advice like you did mine. Take care KY.

[Guest]

You'll do best to tell him sometime before you are serious.

But make sure to tell him how you are remedying the situation.

He's very anti debt you say....so am I.

Credit card debt is no joke. Your issuers can change terms at the drop of a hat.

Almost every serious situation I've been in with a woman resulted in me finding out she was in debt to some point. It wasn't a big deal when I learned about it early.

However, I wasn't very happy when I learned of a debt situation with a woman I was close with. In fact...I was pretty (edit)

Whether or not you commingle finances....your financial decisions will affect your relationship decisions. And if you care for the guy-and vice versa, he may want to be a part of them. Things like where do we go for vacation, what kinds of gifts do we buy for eachother, where do we go out and eat and what do we spend on entertainment.

He may choose to live more frugally in order to make you feel better and vice versa.

It's not a big deal until it becomes a big deal. Tell him.

[Hopeless Dork]

However, I wasn't very happy when I learned of a debt situation with a woman I was close with. In fact...I was pretty (edit)

Why would it anger you? Just curious.

[kygirl]

Update

You'll do best to tell him sometime before you are serious.

But make sure to tell him how you are remedying the situation.

He's very anti debt you say....so am I.

Credit card debt is no joke. Your issuers can change terms at the drop of a hat.

Almost every serious situation I've been in with a woman resulted in me finding out she was in debt to some point. It wasn't a big deal when I learned about it early.

However, I wasn't very happy when I learned of a debt situation with a woman I was close with. In fact...I was pretty (edit)

Whether or not you commingle finances....your financial decisions will affect your relationship decisions. And if you care for the guy-and vice versa, he may want to be a part of them. Things like where do we go for vacation, what kinds of gifts do we buy for eachother, where do we go out and eat and what do we spend on entertainment.

He may choose to live more frugally in order to make you feel better and vice versa.

It's not a big deal until it becomes a big deal. Tell him.

OTYA!!! So glad to see you around!

I do agree mostly with what you said. I mean, I guess once I get to the point where I can maybe see things going somewhere, it's important for me to know what's going on with a person and vice versa (even if it might be a while away). I'm just a fan of honesty.

So this weekend, while we were out for Valentine's day, we were discussing how I'd been talking about getting my own apartment. I meantioned that I had been paying some things off, so I'd like to say below what I could afford to still be able to do that quickly.

He in passing said "credit card debt?" And I said "yeah. I didn't make the best decisions, but I've been working on it and being more responsible these days. I don't want to get in over my head." And that was that.

I am sure at some point if things progress, details might come up as far as amount, etc, but it was nice to just get it off my chest. And I knew I could kind of work it in when I said I had been working on paying some things off.

[Guest]

OTYA!!! So glad to see you around!

I do agree mostly with what you said. I mean, I guess once I get to the point where I can maybe see things going somewhere, it's important for me to know what's going on with a person and vice versa (even if it might be a while away). I'm just a fan of honesty.

So this weekend, while we were out for Valentine's day, we were discussing how I'd been talking about getting my own apartment. I meantioned that I had been paying some things off, so I'd like to say below what I could afford to still be able to do that quickly.

He in passing said "credit card debt?" And I said "yeah. I didn't make the best decisions, but I've been working on it and being more responsible these days. I don't want to get in over my head." And that was that.

I am sure at some point if things progress, details might come up as far as amount, etc, but it was nice to just get it off my chest. And I knew I could kind of work it in when I said I had been working on paying some things off.

Feels good to get it off your chest doesn't it? Probably even better that he handled it well.

Good for you. If you need some pointers on how to erase the debt even quicker, feel free to PM me and I can give you some pointers. My methods will help you pay off the debt quicker by lowering your interest rates, or eliminating them entirely without screwing your card company or affecting your credit score negatively.

HD - i was angry for a couple of reasons. 1 because I realized that I probably had a hand in perpetuating a lifestyle above her means. If I had known she was in debt, I would have handled money differently in front of her.

2 because I felt that it should have come up earlier. I guess I felt that she was keeping it a secret. I'm a full disclosure kinda guy. My cards are always on the table, and I expect the same.

Communication, remember?

[Hopeless Dork]

Ohhh Okay... I thought you meant you wouldn't have wanted to be with her if she had credit card debt.. or if it would have changed how you felt about her.. thats the impression I got when it said you were upset. What you said now, makes loads of sense. If she was embarassed about her debt, she probably indebted herself further trying to keep up with you and if you knew , you could have been a little more conservative.

I could see being hesitant to want to get into a marriage with someone in debt.. thats huge. And I think if things start leaning to marriage talk about debt is crucial. But when you guys are having fun and just dating and money isn't an issue -- like he isn't asking you to pay for things beyond your means and aren't planning any business ventures together I don't think you need to bring your statements over on a date and explain your entire financial situation.

[kygirl]

OTYA, I tried to PM you but it says that your quota is full. Let me know when you clear it, I'll shoot you the message

Thanks in advance for your help!

[kygirl]

I think it's good that you've realized your mistakes and learning your lesson. The good part is is your paying it off now little by little. I would wait and tell your bf if it either happens to come up i mean i wouldn't try to hide it from him. That might only make it worse.Or if it only the relationship becomes seroious as in longer term, possible engagement etc. Who knows by that time you may have it all paid off I thought i'd visit your post and leave advice like you did mine. Take care KY.

thanks Sarahlee!

[sweetums72]

Untill the time comes when you two are thinking of moving in together, getting married, or mingling funds, its not his business what your debt is.