[bangbangbby]

I feel like I don't have any real friends.
There is hardly anyone for me to hang out with, nobody I can really tell how I feel or trust.
Even my "best friend" doesn't know half of what I've gone through in life.
I just feel so lonely and I don't know how to meet new people and even when I do I feel scared and like they won't understand.

Any ideas or advice?

[Mes T]

Well what's your situation like, do you work, go to school, where do you live, who do you live with, are you dating, etc etc?

I think many people can relate to how ya feel. I missed out on a lot of friendships a few years back when I was in a very... unhealthy relationship!

[LanaBear]

I wish I could offer you some advice, but I'm in the same boat. lol - I have no friends. Not to be mistaken, I have plenty of acquaintances, but no true 'friends'.

I'm very outgoing, personable, blah blah, but I've come to the realization that I put a lot into my friendships and it is rarely, if ever, reciprocated. For example, my two closest girlfriends from HS... I made it a point to call them, at least every 4-6 weeks, this went on for about 10 years. I always sent birthday cards, Christmas cards, baby gifts for their new kids, etc. Keeping in mind, I never got even a card in return, that wasn't a problem for me, I enjoyed doing it. But many years later, I came to the realization that I was always the one calling, oh, when I called, we'd talk for hours and enjoy ourselves though. So, I thought, hmmm, I wonder if I stop calling, how long it will take for one of them to call me... Well, it's been 15 months, I haven't heard a word, nothing. *shrugs* Maybe I'm just not friend material, but it sucks sometimes when all I'd like is a friend to call up and talk to... Oh well...

I should take my own advice, but go to places where you enjoy doing things. If you like the outdoors, go to outdoor stores where they organize activities for interested party's. Cooking classes, bookstores, etc. Find out what you want to do and go places where they do it.

Hope that helps.

[TheMysticalOne]

I feel exactly the same! I graduated high school 5 years ago. When I first graduated I had plenty of friends. But now times have changed. We've began to go our separate ways. Some have gone away to college and stayed in that town. Others have moved even farther away. I also find that once friends get into serious relationships or married that they seem to be even farther away than they were before. I have only one friend right now, but the thing is that she and I are so completely different. I feel like we have nothing in common.

Right now I'm trying to join a new church group and I'm hoping to find some new friends there. The hard part is finding people that I have things in common with. Even in college I didn't make any true friends. Sure, I had girls that I talked to, but since I attend a community college, we all live so far away from each other and don't really have the chance to go out.

I'm hoping once I finish college that I will be able to make more friends at my job place. So don't feel bad for not having many friends. As you can see it is a common thing! Good friends are hard to come by (kind of like nice guys!!)

[Guest]

you are not alone in this. i have very few "friends" and have had the same experience as LanaBear. I was always the one that called, that went out of the way, etc. i got so tired of it i basically jettisoned everyone.

one of them continued to try and stay in contact, but every time i needed them, they just werent there. i'd get sucked back in by them saying things like they considered me a true friend, or they considered me a real friend. those words felt great, but then when push came to shove, i never was made to feel like i mattered. i remembered every birthday and called/IM'd/emailed them, but i only ever got one birthday hi from them, and it was after i had complained to them about it.

sorry for ranting, i guess what i am trying to say is that i havent really been able to find a "real friend". maybe it's because of how i am, IDK. but i believe that its because people just really dont care that much about others.

[sparticas]

this world is full of to many self centered people, the mojority of people you meet will stab you in the back at some time, i understand how you must be feeling to be honest i do have a few reli close friends but there was a time i thought i had more but its at certain times in your life that you realize who is reli there for you. this must be reli geting you down as i dont know where i would be without my friends. maybe you need to start mixing with different people take up a hobbie in somthing you enjoy. there your meet people who have the same interests as you. but always remeber friendship goes 2 ways. good luck

[SweetP]

While I was reading this I felt like if I had wrote this post.. I feel exactly the same way right now. Ive been going through a lot in my life recently and I usually always had a boyfriend. Now I'm single and I would love to have a good friend just to talk to but the sad truth is that most people only care about themselves. I'm not like that though. I consider myself a good friend but that's why people walk all over me sometimes I guess.

Lately Ive been focusing on me. I'm taking a lot of classes such as kickboxing, yoga, zumba, just fun classes that keeps me busy. Maybe you should try the same and just know that you're not alone

[Hopeless Dork]

It really is a sad day when you realize how few friends you actually have. I am sure most people have discovered this at one point... when you desperately needed somone to be there for you and your so called friends just couldn't be bothered.

But at the same time, there have been times they probably needed us and life got in the way and it wasn't that we didn't WANT to be there... we just had to put ourself first.

I think when people make friends by way of scooping them up in a big net, the more the merrier philosophy, the less deep those friendships delve as you are unable to share so much of yourself with so many too often, you'd be spread thin with nothing of quality to give any of them.

Many people have dozens, hundreds of aqqaintences but only one or two TRUE friends, ones they can trust and depend on.

IN life we are lucky to meet people that are genuine, and care. They are few and far inbetween so its an important lesson to never take those people for granted... to cherish them and their friendship.

[Janster]

I'm 42 and I don't really don't have friends I hang out with either.

My problem is...mostly because I don't have anything in common with most women my age. My neighbors (older) are making baskets & crocheting and I'm underneath my car doing an oil change.

I have friends....per say... but we're all sooooooo stinking busy with work & life - that you have no time to get together.

As annoying as Facebook can be - I have lots of friends in there from work, my past, old jobs, old schools, etc. It's fun to read about how they're all doing. But...they're just as busy with life as I am. You just don't have time to get together.

I only get 4 days off a month (if that) and I rotate shifts and sometimes don't even see my husband during the week on 2nd shifts.