[Hillbilly]

my woman is in jail and shes very depressed and she thinks im gonna leave her. Nothing could be further from the truth, I love her with all my heart, wild horses could'nt keep me from her, Im a deeply in love man with little romaintic knowledge, and even less about how to soothe the worries of my imprisoned wife. I need some good ideas of things i could do for her eventhough shes in jail. I figured this would be the best place to get some real answers. please help, i dont like the thought of her suffering so

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I would say that she is in fear that's all... How long is she in jail for Hillbilly?

The written word is the best, as it can be read over and over, and over...

Google Romantic Poems, and write to her ever week, adding your own touch to those poems... by telling her your thoughts and your week, like a diary of sorts with love attached.

How often can you visit her?

CW

[jaygirlweek96]

Yeah, poems and visits would be good......and try to bring her stuff u know she loves when u are going to visit. Also reassure her. Women love to actually hear you people say it!

[Hillbilly]

thank you so much for the suggestions, my woman has been in for 7 1/2 years and has about 2 yrs left, I've been faithful and true the entire time, and will always continue to do so, but shes always insinuating im "looking" for someone else... is there no quick fix? I dont even know why she would get it in her head I would cheat on her, it just came out of nowhere?

[Mes T]

I can understand her perspective... For most of us, the idea of a man waiting close to 10 years for a woman who is basically not around is the stuff of romance novels, not real life. Most of us would probably have these fears were we in her situation... So you gotta just keep repeating to her that you love her, only her, and will do forever. I like the letters/poems idea. She's a lucky lady!

[Hopeless Dork]

A lot of women who sleep every nite in the same bed with their men still fear he may leave or cheat or find someone new.

The fact that she can't do that right now probably has her even more insecure.

She also may be having her head filled up with stories of other women in their that have been left or cheated on while in there.

She is very blessed to have a man as loyal and loving as you.

Write a letter every day. Even if u talk on the phone. Her days are long getting something tangible to hold on to, that you have touched every day I think will help show her she is never far from your thoughts.

[kygirl]

Hillbilly,

I am going to agree with everyone else. Write her as often as you can. Maybe get some little cards from Hallmark (the 99 cent ones) that you can send in addition every week or two?? Just things that say "I'm thinking of you" and "I can't wait".

I'd also encourage her that you all are 75% of the way there... That you've made it this far and that the next two years will seem like nothing because you all can make it two more short years

I can only imagine what kind of dedication and trust that this requires for you two but it sounds like she has a great man! Sometimes we just get down and need reassurance regardless of how long it's been since we've seen our man.

Best of luck to you!

[Hillbilly]

Thank You ALL, for your help and Ideas, and for taking the time to explain a few things to me. I've spent "some" time in jail myself, and understand the worries one experiences. Is it really that rare for a 29 yr old man to be dedicated to the woman he loves, especially if she knows how i am! If she keeps accusing me, shes just pushing me away. I'm a very strong willed man, and I do what i set my mind to. I've waited almost a decade, everytime she even brings it up I feel like it doesnt matter that Ive been faithful the ENTIRE time. I find myself resenting the fact i Have waited, and she just blows it off like it doesnt matter.
I have been sending letters and cards and all I can as often as i can, at least 7 or 8 a month, like clockwork. I would never cheat, but I do need to find a way to get my point across to her, cause she doesn't seem to get it! If she thins Im cheating, what does that say about the type of man she must think I am. I really dont know what to do.

[kygirl]

Thank You ALL, for your help and Ideas, and for taking the time to explain a few things to me. I've spent "some" time in jail myself, and understand the worries one experiences. Is it really that rare for a 29 yr old man to be dedicated to the woman he loves, especially if she knows how i am! If she keeps accusing me, shes just pushing me away. I'm a very strong willed man, and I do what i set my mind to. I've waited almost a decade, everytime she even brings it up I feel like it doesnt matter that Ive been faithful the ENTIRE time. I find myself resenting the fact i Have waited, and she just blows it off like it doesnt matter.
I have been sending letters and cards and all I can as often as i can, at least 7 or 8 a month, like clockwork. I would never cheat, but I do need to find a way to get my point across to her, cause she doesn't seem to get it! If she thins Im cheating, what does that say about the type of man she must think I am. I really dont know what to do.

Have you thought about telling her that?? Just straight up?? That you understand her fears, but that you feel like by her constantly questionning that it somehow downplays the fact that you love and have been faithful to her for so long?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hillbilly, your last post sounded angry...

A decade is probably what it feels but you state 5 and that in itself is a long time, a very long time to be faithful.

You say you've been to jaol so you remember the isolation. Two and a half years isn't very long to go... In my opinion the fear would have been the moment she got sentenced and for the first perhaps 12 months and towards the end, when there's not long to go, which would be around about now..

Does she actually state she loves you? Does she talk about the future? Does she see one? Have you talked about what she is going to do when she gets out, where you will both be living, any dreams your giving her to catch, to hold onto?

You could also be experiencing depression yourself, you were what 23 there abouts and now your 29, you maybe feeling your getting old, people around you have kids, are married. Maybe you also need to seek councelling so you can get through the next 2+ years if this is what YOU really want, or work out if this is what you really want or a promise you made in your youth 5 years ago....

Kira I am way romantic

CW