[WildChild]

What I know of cultures where marriages are still arranged, is that they can vary widely in just how rigid that is, depending on the religion, culture, and family. I have known people who's families simply would not tollerate a marriage to anyone who isn't a relative.
The fact that you are here studying, apparently with quite a bit of freedom, argues that you are not from one of the more extreme situations where any question about your behavior could get you killed. This is like playing guessing games and you know your culture, him and your family best.

Having been studying in the US his family could be pushing marriage simply out of concern that he might fall for an American girl. They might be quite relieved to learn that he has found an educated woman of his own culture.

[MissMeSha810]

My Two Cents Is Coming FULL SPEED AHEAD!!!

Hey sweets. It took me awhile to read through and after that last quote, I'm ready to speak out. I'm NOT telling you to dishonor your parents. I'm NOT telling either of you to go against your religious beliefs. I sounds to me like you are both IN LOVE. In America, at the age of 18 (I say 18 because it is the legal age and no police can be called to return you to the rightful owner if you two were to go missing) You can live your life as you choose to. An arranged marriage at this day and time goes against matters of the heart and free will. IF YOUR OVER 18 ( I stress this because I rarely give advice to other people's children that are under age) live your life, love who you want to love and know that you are free to do so.

In the words of OCULARONE, I fall under the Capulet and Montegue scenario...... The families of my husband and I were somewhat at war because his grandfather cut my grandfather in a night club (this had to be like over 40 years ago, old people grow up lol) May they rest in peace.....That may not be your situation, but loving each other is despite what others may try to tell you to do with your own lives. Love each other, that's all I have left to say on the matter. Good Luck....

[WildChild]

Just because they could legally marry in the US isn't a reason to do so and I think the OP knows that. They are here on student visas, when those end, they go home.

Right now they are dependent on either family financial support or some sort of scholarship from their country, which could have requirements restricting all sorts of actions or behaviors. Just because US law (which they must follow while here) may permit something doesn't mean they can base their future lives on it.

[MissMeSha810]

Just because they could legally marry in the US isn't a reason to do so and I think the OP knows that. They are here on student visas, when those end, they go home.

Right now they are dependent on either family financial support or some sort of scholarship from their country, which could have requirements restricting all sorts of actions or behaviors. Just because US law (which they must follow while here) may permit something doesn't mean they can base their future lives on it.

I'm sorry, where does the student visa come into play? I read thoroughly through her threads and did not see that unless that is information that has been relayed solely to you?

[WildChild]

It is possible they aren't, but there are some indicators that may be the case. She says he is talking to, "family here and there". But you may be right, they may be US citizens in which case they would certainly be in a better situation to disregard their families wishes and do as they prefer.

[MissMeSha810]

It is possible they aren't, but there are some indicators that may be the case. She says he is talking to, "family here and there". But you may be right, they may be US citizens in which case they would certainly be in a better situation to disregard their families wishes and do as they prefer.

I sure do hope so! lol. I hate it when someone cannot love the way they want.

[WildChild]

Culture and religion can be powerful factors.

[lostforu]

More information...i am 21 he is about to turn 25. He is a citizen and am about to get my citizenship in a few years...i've been in the us since i was 10.
But yea i dont understand why they still do these stupid litte arrange marriages its 2010 poeple need to wake up...but yea i really truly hope everything works out...thank u so much for the support

[lostforu]

WC culture and religion are BIG factors. His family doesnt want him to marry someone from his culture/family relatives...in other words people they know. Me are not from the same country but we're from the same area so everything is really the same.

What eats me inside is that fact that he is such a good guy, i've never met someone like him, he understands me, respects me, he loves me...i have nooooooooooooo reason to walk away from him. Any girl in her right mind would not walk away from a good faithful, committed guy like him.
I have a couple of friends that are telling me oh you should leave him bcuz he is not sure, he needs to make up his mind and guarantee 100% you guys will end up together.

I dont think thats right, first of all tomorrow is not promised let alone anything else. He is going thru alot of tough times with his family, each family memeber is telling him. "OH I FOUND A GIRL FOR U...LET ME GIVE U HER # AND GET TO KNOW HER" imagine people controlling who you end up with it..ITS insane, in family personally the guys have more freedom than the girls, they can meet someone & tell their family oh i met someone pls get 2 know her. BUt his is a little more strict.

He told his family a couple days ago that he is going to get married to a girl that he gets to know...He told them he is not gona settle for this arrange marriage thing or else he will be single & commit sins which is against the religion. So i hope they slowly back off and give him his space.

A few days ago when i told him i feel as tho this is not going anywhere and maybe we should just end it...bcuz am soooo attached to him and i dont want him to come to me a year later saying oh its not going to work out. He was soooooooooooooo depressed that night, he didnt go to sleep till 6am the next morning...i dont know if alot of guys care that much...usually they are like ok whatever & start hooking up with other girls....n btw he is really handsome & alottt of girls throw themselves at him so its not hard for him to get any thing...but is such a committed guy and tells me everyday he loves me & wants to spend the rest of his life with me...its just so hard when i think about his family getting in the way.

[happy ending]

i hate to keep repeating what every one else said, but he is going to have to tell his family about you, they will not stop pestering him until they do and if he doesnt even though he may still love you, he is not committed and 100% into your relationship. i am sorry if this is harsh, but at 25 he should know his own mind.