[priyakr]

Hello everyone,

I am priya and I am in relation since last two years and in these last two years the person who talks always is only me... my guy talk very less...it doesn't mean he is not interested in me or blah blah.......its just he talks very less.........
I have tried talking to him about his interests and all so that he utter sumthng but in the end only I end up in speaking..
So I need ideas which can make me hear the voice of my guy.
Pls help.


Regards
Priya

[caterpillar79]

Just how much talk do you think you need? I mean, in a span of two years, I would expect you know more about his family and some of his interests at least.

If these things are still a mystery to you, there is something wrong. Based on your length of time being together, you should be more straight forward to him and tell him that you are interested to know more about him, his family and his life in general. Sometimes, men are clueless, believe me...

Do you go out during weekends and do some outdoor activities? Take this opportunity to notch a conversation here and there. Make sure your questions are the ones that stir up thinking and explanation. Start with Why's and How's and just mix some Yes-No questions once in a while.

Maybe your man is naturally timid and shy until now. Sometimes, it has something to do with the family's culture. Unless he is hiding something, or is embarrassed of anything, in two years with you, he should feel safe to share his innermost thoughts by now.

So sorry about your situation, sweetie. Hope this helps.

[priyakr]

Hi dear,

Hey I know everything about him but my problem is he does't initiate on his own....always its me who say sumthn gfirst or ask sumthng the he reply and that too in close ended answers .. I just want to change his this habit..........

and yeah we both are close, really love each other there is no gap between us but its just his one habit of being silent................

Just how much talk do you think you need? I mean, in a span of two years, I would expect you know more about his family and some of his interests at least.

If these things are still a mystery to you, there is something wrong. Based on your length of time being together, you should be more straight forward to him and tell him that you are interested to know more about him, his family and his life in general. Sometimes, men are clueless, believe me...

..............
So sorry about your situation, sweetie. Hope this helps.

[caterpillar79]

I don't believe that you can change another person's habits unless he himself tries.

Silence is good given that you have the understanding between the two of you that dishonesty and deceit is not in your game.

I have came across different books and as well as my personal observations and experience, and I would say that a man also wants to enjoy silence (good silence) with the woman he loves. You know what I mean here, just being together, cuddling, quietly, just enjoying your time together? In this busy stressful world, men need that nurturing quiet, too.

I don't understand your need to have him initiate talk. Most men are not talkers - at least the ones that I know, unless something triggers them to speak up. Maybe try this exercise: one day when you see him at the end of the day, invite him to sit beside you and ask him how his day was, and listen to him share. Ask follow up questions and then, pause...and tell him how you enjoy listening to him share his thoughts and his experiences. Tell him how much you enjoy just listening to his voice and how much it calms you.

Try to wean him into initiating the conversation. You can do this exercise once or twice a week and see how it goes.

[Hopeless Dork]

Some people are just not big talkers. Usually those people are expressive in other ways... with touch, with their eyes, body language, through actions they take, etc.

I am a blabber mouth, always have been. My boyfriend is a great conversationalist but he doesn't babble on like I do.

Some people, like me, talk for the sake of talking and no other reason just blah blah about anything and everything.

Some people talk only when they feel they have something relevent to add. When their words have purpose... either because they are trying to make a point or respond to yours, because they have a question or an answer but don't really need to sit and go on and on about the new sofa they saw at billy bobs house.

If you've been together 2 years I imagine you must have realized before now that he isn't a big talker and thats a character trait thats not likely to change.

Is it that you want him to open up more about his feelings? Because that can change as you relate to him how important it is to hear how he feels. But if you just want him to fill the silence more and that just isn't his way... its probably won't ever be his way.

But like the other posters said, do things with him, play board games, go on adventures, sight seeing etc... things that generate genuine thoughts and ideas that get him talking to you more.

I personally think a relationship works best when one person is more of a talker than the other. If you got a couple of motor mouths... no one gets heard :P And a couple of quite mice and you got nothing but crickets to listen to...

My guy doesn't mind my rambles and actually seems to like my nature and I love the calm he offers to my verbal storms. He communicates to me with words and I love that... but he is very good at conveying how he feels about me through actions and touches and looks, and as wordy as I am... I am happier than words can express.