[Suzanne02]

I've been seeing this guy for the past 5mths and things were going really great. At the start I held back a bit because I wasn't sure if I wanted a relationship with him. Gradually over time as I got to know him more I really fell for him. We've been officially a couple for about 5wks now.
However, since then, and this is where I don't know if I'm just being paranoid, but he seemed to have cooled off a bit. Yes he still txts or calls everyday when we're not together (at moment we only get to see each other about twice a wk because of work and that). But something feels a bit different.
I don't know if I'm the one who has changed because now we're actually in a relationship and I'm scared to lose him, or if he actually has cooled off and is having second thoughts about us. Things are really great when we're together and I only feel like this when we're not. It just seems to me that he isn't as eager as he was at the start. My friends say that's just because he feels he can relax now we're together but I don't know.
I don't want to ask him about it incase it really is just all in my head and I end up making an issue over nothing.
Just now that I've really fallen for him and finally let him in that I'm terrified of losing him.
Any advice and opinions would be really appreciated! Thanks

[Ashlee T.]

The chase is over because you're not a couple. He doesn't have to chase you or wonder "does she like me?" because you're with him now. Sure he's cooled off a bit, most guys do to a certain extent. But I'd say it's likely because he's just more comfortable to be himself now. Some guys cool off once they "get the goods".....sort of like that strong intense desire to "conquer" is gone because they ...well...conquered.

Sounds like you might be being a bit needy. Sounds like you're happy with the way things are and need to sit back and let things go as they naturally will. Do you really want him to call or text you more knowing all the while he's only doing it because you said something about it?

I'd say maybe you should cool it a bit too......ease up a bit and just enjoy the new relationship.

[Hopeless Dork]

Yep... you're just being paranoid Its natural to want to hold on to what you treasure most and its a thin line from treasuring that to obsessing over it and you have to be sure to toe it wisely.

If you want to spend more than 1 day a week together... make that happen. I'm sure he'd love to see you more than 1 day a week too. With a lil effort on both of your ends it should work itself out.

You don't want to be so scared your going to lose something that you let the fear of you losing it causes you to lose it. Be confident in how he feels about you, at least give the appearance of the confidence (even if in your head you worry from time to time).

If he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't be and if he finds himself no longer wanting to be with you -- he'll stop. Same for you. So spending your time worrying about if it might happen is only going to make you lose sight of what you have right now. Enjoy it.

Enjoy the security that comes from knowing he made the choice to be with you. And while the future is not completely in your control... thats okay. Thats life. But don't be sad worrying if he will feel the same tomorrow as he does today. Trust in his feelings for you. And enjoy today.

[Suzanne02]

Thanks that really helped a lot. I know myself im just being paranoid and I'm glad that he feels more comfortable now that he can relax and act like himself more. I'm just an awful worrier about everything and especially when it comes to relationships I, unfortunately, sometimes look for something to worry about. I'd love to know how to stop over-analyzing every little text or conversation we have. I never did this in the beginning, probably because I wasn't afraid of losing him back then.