[kygirl]

I had my last therapy session last night (at least for now since she's moving), but I was told I need to really sit down and talk to the beau about more details of what happened in his marriage. I know the largest part was his working all the time and there not being good communication which I think we both work very hard to have. But I don't want to seem too "nosey"

I know it in some ways may affect me if he repeats the same mistakes but I wouldn't bombard someone who had been with a girlfriend prior so I"m not sure exactly what to ask. She was the one who left and I do think he was a bit hurt by the fact that she didn't want to talk about it till things were already bad, but should I really ask for more details??

Those of you who are separated or divorced, would you feel odd if your new flame starting asking a bunch of questions? How should I ask??

I want this to last (whatever that means) so I want to do whatever is best, but I just feel a bit uncomfortable asking for information instead of allowing it to come out in time?

[pretzel]

I think you're therapist is wrong. Why would she be feeding your insecurities, which is what shes doing.

Answer yourself these questions,

Is he making me happy?

Am I making him happy?

Are we committed to making our relationship the best it can be?

Has he done anything or told me anything that would cause me not to trust him?

If you answer yes to the above, I think you're way ahead of the curve.

Live for today, plan for tomorrow.

[kygirl]

I think you're therapist is wrong. Why would she be feeding your insecurities, which is what shes doing.

Answer yourself these questions,

Is he making me happy?

Am I making him happy?

Are we committed to making our relationship the best it can be?

Has he done anything or told me anything that would cause me not to trust him?

If you answer yes to the above, I think you're way ahead of the curve.

Live for today, plan for tomorrow.

Honestly Pretzel, those were kind of my thoughts when she asked me to talk to him more about it. I feel like he shares things with me, and I've learned the main issues that they had and I can tell that at least as of now, he is working very hard to not make the same mistakes twice. I'm also aware of those things to make sure I mention them if they become an issue. I don't want to know everything about their past. It would *totally* feed my insecurities. A note here and there is fine, but I don't feel like I need to sit down and have an hour discussion about it all... We've moving forward, not back.

She also told me I needed to ask if we were exclusive. I told her that I knew he wasn't seeing anyone else. I know most of his friends very well because we go to school. He is very honest with me and I know how busy he is. I also don't see him as the kind of guy who would be devious enough to try to keep up with two women (nothing against him, but he's still getting back into remembering what it's like to date).

I guess it just threw me for a loop. I mean, we're going on vacation in less than two months. He gave me his credit card to book his flight. We've talked a lot about this summer and even playfully past that. I am finally at a point where I am at peace with the fact that he is maybe going to be dealing with the divorce stuff realistically for maybe the rest of the year even. Then, for her to tell me I needed to dig up all of this information?? I don't see what benefit it would have?

[pretzel]

There is no benefit. I'm by no means a therapist (although I play one here) but I don't see what value these types of conversations have.

[kygirl]

There is no benefit. I'm by no means a therapist (although I play one here) but I don't see what value these types of conversations have.

I agree.

I mean, I appreciate all the good things that she has done for me, but I think on this one, I'm going to have to defer to my own judgment. Maybe in the past I'd feel the need to interrogate about everything, but I know how my mind works, I trust him, and I don't want to stress myself out to do something that I don't feel comfortable doing.

I am happy. He is happy. End of discussion

[kygirl]

There is no benefit. I'm by no means a therapist (although I play one here) but I don't see what value these types of conversations have.

Btw, when I read your aside about "although I play one here". I really reminded me of a deep voice saying "I'm not a _______, I just play one on TV" not sure why that is so amusing to me, but it was... so thanks for laugh even if it wasn't intended

[pretzel]

Btw, when I read your aside about "although I play one here". I really reminded me of a deep voice saying "I'm not a _______, I just play one on TV" not sure why that is so amusing to me, but it was... so thanks for laugh even if it wasn't intended

Thanks, it was intended (I guess subtlety can work).

Your reply "I'm happy, he's happy. End of discussion" says it all.

Enjoy DC.