[njwoman1427]

At this point I want to thank everyone for the advice they've given me, when I posted a little while ago about finding out my boyfriend was a crossdresser. From everything I can tell, and the friends I've leaned on for support, it's time for me to move on, even regardless of the issue that he was hiding such a major thing from me.

About a week and a half ago, I pulled myself back from my boyfriend. It took all my strength, and broke my heart, but I had to see if and how much he cared. To my surprise (sort of) he has literally done nothing about it, and it's not like he would be able to ignore the signs anymore. I waited, everyday, for him to call, or ask to see me, and I tried my hardest not to cave first because that's what I've always done. Today, Monday, marks three days since I've heard from him, and the last I heard was a text message. No meaningful conversation between us for over a week; not a single phone call. He was home for the entire weekend and made no effort to contact me.

Now that he is back where his new apartment is, near his job, he's over an hour away for yet another week. I can't take feeling like this anymore, I'm literally sick to my stomach with nerves, and I can't eat. I want to end it...but I've never broken up with anyone, I was always the one left behind - I stayed with someone until they decided they didn't want me anymore.

I don't feel as if I have the guts to do it in person; I'm scared that I'll break down and cave to him if he begs me not to leave. At the same time, I really don't know if I believe he'll do that. Breaking up over the phone doesn't seem fair either, but I almost think this would be easier on me.

What should I do? Do I wait another week, hoping he'll come home again on the weekend (but not really knowing because he won't talk to me) or drive up to where he lives now to do it? That scares me, because I feel like it would be on his terms at his place. Either way getting to him is up to me, because he lost his license a few weeks ago from a DUI. Or do I take the "spineless" route, and call him over the phone?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, this is entirely new to me and my heart is breaking more and more each day...

[sourpuss]

It's not spineless to do it over the phone if you're over an hour away and he has no transportation. If he hasn't contacted you or had a decent conversation in over a week then it seems to me that ending it with a phone conversation won't be that big of a deal. If it makes you feel better to do it in person then you could either wait for him to come back, or drive up. But be 100% sure you are prepared to stand your ground no matter what he says. Don't have the conversation until you've totally made your mind up.

[Ashlee T.]

You reveal to your loving girlfriend that you're a cross dresser (or letting her find out, I don't remember which was the case here), knowing that she's stayed with you, and then not calling her, not trying to see her, not attempting communication with her at all for a week......................................

To me he is giving you the writing on the wall. Maybe he will beg...maybe he won't. Maybe he will say that he was just giving you space, maybe he'll say nothing. Regardless of what he says, or how it makes him feel, this relationship is not what you need anymore. Period. Now you're ready to end it, and the sooner the better. That feeling you have in your stomach, I've been there...and I know how horrible it is and how it makes everything you do all day long harder. It's not worth it. I truly believe once you do this and get it over with, you will feel SO much relief.

And it's not spineless to do it by phone. Be prepared, say what you need to say, don't ask anything of him......and just end it. You're ready, it's what you want, it's what you need..........