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  • doodle89
    Member
    • May 2010
    • 22

    Comfort in a relationship..

    After being with someone for a long period of time (in my case a little over 5 years) do you sometimes feel like it's too comfortable? Do you feel at times the spark isn't there like it use to be? I mean I'm glad I'm over all that shyness and having to feel PERFECT all the time like in the start of it, but is this a normal thing?
  • KMonte85
    Veteran Member
    • Oct 2009
    • 3303

    oh, yeah.. this is definitely normal for a long term relationship. The "newness" , or as you call it the "spark" is gone.

    A lot of people mistake this feeling as something bad, thinking the relationship is in trouble because the infatuation is no longer there. But that's not it at all, at least not to me and my long term relationship (8 yrs).

    Instead of the superficial feelings of lust and infatuation, what the "comfort" really is is a deeper, more emotional connection... love, if you will.

    Just be careful not to allow yourself to get to comfortable in the comfort zone you find your relationship in. Although it is great to be past that point of newness with each other, you don't want the relationship feeling too stale, or routine. Do some things out of the ordinary once in a while, travel together to somewhere you've both never been and can explore, do thoughtful things for each other, touch each other in new ways. You'll soon learn that this comfort you feel will allow yourself to open up even more in your relationship... so instead of having to worry about being "perfect," you can let your guard down and increase the intimate connection. It is great, if you let it be

    Comment

    • doodle89
      Member
      • May 2010
      • 22

      wow, I don't think I could get a better response than that! That's what I was hoping to hear--I mean we get along great, have a lot in common, have a lot of the same friends and are both just really laid back, easy going people. So, with that being said things sometimes do seem routine but I mean personally, I'm not into all the exciting new things ALL the time.

      Good advice on doing some out of the ordinary things once in a while.. we try to do that around our hectic schedules and those are always fun. Thanks again

      Comment

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