[pretzel]

That may well be true. But it needs to be carefully looked at.

My children's father's parents can seem very nice but it turned out the man has BPD, one of his brother's violently so, his sister started severely abusing her kids and it is all based in childhood abuse. Those "nice" grandparents raised their children in an atmosphere of emotional and physical abuse. No one in that family talks about it or admits. The kids will defend their parents to the hilt. When my marriage to my kid's father was ending (I and my kids went into hiding for a several days at one point) the man came close to a break down, was suicidal and the stories came pouring out for a day. Then he clammed up again and denied it. The psychologist said that was probably his one window of honesty.

This is also true of my own family, there was intermittant abuse, both physical and emotional, it was cyclic. I have no doubt that very few people would have guessed, then or now. Our family was well educated, articulate, professional, well mannered. Were our parents horrible people? Absolutely not. They were carrying a cycle they were raised with. My siblings and I were fortunate to be raised know it wasn't how things should be and have broken the cycle. The point is that things aren't always what they seem.

Good point and well said.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'm not sure, but did you establish that she has Bipolar?

If so, then I doubt she would even think, she would just act, do, regarding this man that has come to her house.

It is a problem and I feel your fear, if this man also has been institutionised, in a mental hospital.

How old are your children?

I am glad that her parents are supportive, there for you, in understanding and I am sorry that you are going through all of this...

CW

[jns]

Like good business decisions, you have to implement your decisions soon after deciding what to do. It is unfortunate that you couldn't get to a school break before everything broke apart, but the pattern was already clear. I would not leave the children with her, since I couldn't be sure if she would take care of them right. Go to court and do the right thing for your children. Her being committed should work in your favor. The best place may be in one of your relatives or her relatives homes, but in whatever case someone who is responsible.