I can't get over my first breakup :(
Well about two weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me and basically said it was my fault. We've known each other for 3 years and have gone out for 2. We are both each other's first everything so this is why i'm very depressed right now because I can't handle this break up.
So last week my boyfriend gets two wisdom teeth pulled out and when we got back to his house he wanted sex. So i was kind of not in the mood but I gave in anyway because he sweet talked to me and all the nice stuff. You'd think he wouldn't want to do anything because of the pain, but he said that he didn't feel anything...but I knew that was a lie because for the first time he pounded on me like a toy.
He was always this sweet man who I would always have passionate sex with but out of the blue he turns into a beast. I told him to stop because i was burning and had throbbing pain..so in fairness I decide to finish him off. During that time he was very mean with his words, rolling his eyes, and even said to put the condom back on him so he could finish inside me. I was ****ed off but i said to myself that it's the medication so i let it slide.
After we finish he starts complaining about the tooth pain and get very snappy with me. So i leave and the next day i texted him saying " are you feeling better and i miss you". Then i throw in a comment that said "yesterday you were very mean to me". He did say that the medication made him mad..so i reply "well in that case, the way you treated me made me upset and i wanted to hit you in the mouth". so he replys "kiss my " because he got offened...I then appoligize and told him that I would never hit him, it was just a form of expression of how mad I was.
So the next day i get ready to visit him and i called him in advance, and he says don't come over because we're through...He told his parents that i threated to punch him..WTH! He's a 20 yr old man who acts like a sometimes..First of all i never said i would punch him and secondly this was OUR problem. So i'm crying over the phone telling him what i meant and he says nothing was his fault because he was on medication.
And take this, he's becoming a cop and yet blames his actions on perscribe meds. It sucks because this relationship was going so smooth, without any arguments, and cuddling and kissing all the time. If he never bothered me form the begining I would have never gave in to date him. I gave this once a ing nerd a chance and yet he won't even look at me. He even said if i come over crying, he'd call the cops..I feel like because he was the only guy in my life who cared.
A week before this all happend he asked me to live with him!! Well now i have no one, my parents call me names and exclude me from everything, and i spend my time at home doing math work all day. I'm not allowed to go out even though i'm 19..I just want to kill myself because every time something wonderful happens to me a huge downfall like this happens out of the blue. my life and him..And yet i still love him. I even called today crying over the phone and he doesn't care. I wan't him back so bad and I doubt he'll want me. I wrote a letter and I hope to give it to him on Saturday. I want him back soo bad, he's leaving me on his prime...before he was this nasty looking guy with pimples, long hair, and a crooked nose. But i gave him a chance and this is what i get in return now that his thrush is gone, face is all cleared up, eyesbrows that i pluck are neat, nose is straight, teeth are straight and pearly white because i got him white strips, hair is nicely cut, and he's tanned..I feel like a used pile of ..I know you guys might say to forget about him but i just want to know how i can get this guy back..Yeah i know, i'm crazy..
So last week my boyfriend gets two wisdom teeth pulled out and when we got back to his house he wanted sex. So i was kind of not in the mood but I gave in anyway because he sweet talked to me and all the nice stuff. You'd think he wouldn't want to do anything because of the pain, but he said that he didn't feel anything...but I knew that was a lie because for the first time he pounded on me like a toy.
He was always this sweet man who I would always have passionate sex with but out of the blue he turns into a beast. I told him to stop because i was burning and had throbbing pain..so in fairness I decide to finish him off. During that time he was very mean with his words, rolling his eyes, and even said to put the condom back on him so he could finish inside me. I was ****ed off but i said to myself that it's the medication so i let it slide.
After we finish he starts complaining about the tooth pain and get very snappy with me. So i leave and the next day i texted him saying " are you feeling better and i miss you". Then i throw in a comment that said "yesterday you were very mean to me". He did say that the medication made him mad..so i reply "well in that case, the way you treated me made me upset and i wanted to hit you in the mouth". so he replys "kiss my " because he got offened...I then appoligize and told him that I would never hit him, it was just a form of expression of how mad I was.
So the next day i get ready to visit him and i called him in advance, and he says don't come over because we're through...He told his parents that i threated to punch him..WTH! He's a 20 yr old man who acts like a sometimes..First of all i never said i would punch him and secondly this was OUR problem. So i'm crying over the phone telling him what i meant and he says nothing was his fault because he was on medication.
And take this, he's becoming a cop and yet blames his actions on perscribe meds. It sucks because this relationship was going so smooth, without any arguments, and cuddling and kissing all the time. If he never bothered me form the begining I would have never gave in to date him. I gave this once a ing nerd a chance and yet he won't even look at me. He even said if i come over crying, he'd call the cops..I feel like because he was the only guy in my life who cared.
A week before this all happend he asked me to live with him!! Well now i have no one, my parents call me names and exclude me from everything, and i spend my time at home doing math work all day. I'm not allowed to go out even though i'm 19..I just want to kill myself because every time something wonderful happens to me a huge downfall like this happens out of the blue. my life and him..And yet i still love him. I even called today crying over the phone and he doesn't care. I wan't him back so bad and I doubt he'll want me. I wrote a letter and I hope to give it to him on Saturday. I want him back soo bad, he's leaving me on his prime...before he was this nasty looking guy with pimples, long hair, and a crooked nose. But i gave him a chance and this is what i get in return now that his thrush is gone, face is all cleared up, eyesbrows that i pluck are neat, nose is straight, teeth are straight and pearly white because i got him white strips, hair is nicely cut, and he's tanned..I feel like a used pile of ..I know you guys might say to forget about him but i just want to know how i can get this guy back..Yeah i know, i'm crazy..
. I kind of miss his long hair as well lol but he's gonna have to shave it off in a few weeks before he goes in the police academy....Soo i'll let yo guys know how this Saturday goes. I won't force myself on him but i do have a letter and a photo to give him before I leave, I just want to do that because afterwards I wont call him until he can at least text me saying hi or call me first. OOO and another thing, i can't lose contact because i'm his sisters confirmation sponsor.
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