[Ashlee T.]

Yes...no doubt it stinks.

WC - I did tell him it was best for him to come get his stuff while I'm not there. I'm sure he will want some special time with my dog before he goes (He loved her very much), and truly, this is a rough week for me anyway, and I just don't need to be a part of that. He should be there now getting his stuff.

KY - I'll keep the faith. There are some things in life I need to do for myself before I settle down and have to totally commit to someone else. I've exhausted myself over this...and I need a break from dating/relationships altogether. And you're right, miss puppy makes me smile when nothing else can. She laid in the floor and watched me cry last night for like an hour....then as soon as I stopped she got up and started being quite vocal about wanting her evening jog. haha. Gotta love her.

This will all get easier....I'm sure of it. I knew this part would suck really really bad. And avoiding these very feelings are probably what kept us both hanging on for as long as we did.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

How ya going BD?

It's been a few days now, so here's hoping your coping and feeling okay..

CW

[Ashlee T.]

blah. This has been a rough one. I've been laying low...not answering my friends phone calls.....simply not wanting to talk about it. He's been taking it really hard....even though technically he came over here that night to end our relationship. I guess this is his first heartbreak....and I remember the first for me, and how horribly painful it was. I begin to wonder more and more...was it me he loved or the idea of a relationship/stability he loved? He's said since then that he just needed to hear me tell him I loved him and wanted a future with him.

The L word is hard for me. To me, when said to a boyfriend/girlfriend its like saying "I want to spend the rest of my life with you". And I wasn't ready for that. But he needed it. And it's his right to need that....but it's my right to not be ready for that. He said he wasn't getting "all" of me. He's right...and I told him he's right. Of course he wasn't getting all of me.......I"m not ready for anyone to have all of me. I've been on this earth for 27 years, he's only been a part of it for 1, but thought I should be giving him all of myself. Then it goes back to the total differences in our personalities. He also agreed that I haven't changed, that I've been upfront and honest with him about my feelings from day 1....and that he hasn't been.

I thought I'd feel relieved because of all the pressure I felt in the relationship. But instead I felt horrible. And for days I sat in silence (when not at work), and would periodically cry. He's been in the same shape. I've missed him. It's been really hard on us both. Two good people, who cared deeply for each other, one wanted one thing, the other wanted something different....therefore neither getting what they needed.

Sucks....but in time there'll be a scar instead of a wound.

[kygirl]

It'll take some time, but that's to be expected. You can't do much when you both have two different desires/dreams. It's easy to think maybe it'll work (I blame it on the movies ) but sometimes it doesn't. It doesn't downplay what you all have and what you meant to each other, but it takes two strong people to realize that the other deserves/needs more than what you can give them right now.

Always here if you need to talk. Lord knows I've been through that a few times and it never gets easier. But you do learn that it's for the best in time.

*hugs*

[bluebell]

Occupying yourself with distractions (work, hobbies, family, friends etc) always makes the pain at least a little less & times seems to go by faster!