[Jex]

I love my boyfriend alot, and we've been together for near on nine months but he seems to do whatever he wants to do and whenever i do something he ALWAYS has something to say about it.
I know that he has been through a rough couple of years which is exactly why i TRY to forgive and forget... For example after a month of us being together, i called him to ask if he was busy because i wanted to see him, his reply was 'yer, going round my mates' i knew he's friend and he was ok so i thought fair enough... Ten minutes later i saw him pull up in a car with a girl driving, and three other girls in the back... things like this happen atleast once a month.
A more recent event was a couple of nights ago when we was in bed and we had been talking, he'd told me about a girl chatting him up in a pub, this conversation ended up in an arguement and he blurted out that he wished he slept with her, everytime i try and confront him about how much he hurts me he turns the arguement around or says 'Don't be like that baby' then i feel terrible just looking at he's sad face (Pathetic of me i know)... How can i talk to the man i love about how much he hurts me?!?!?
Someone please help...

[sourpuss]

The question shouldn't be 'how do you talk to him about hurting you' it should be a question for yourself 'why do I think that I love a man who hurts me and doesn't seem to love me back?'
Nine months is a blink of an eye. If it were me in your situation, I'd cut my losses and find someone who reciprocates my feelings. Being single is better than being with someone who treats you like this.

why do you stay?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Don't be blind and see the "don't be like that baby" and the body language, as "aweeee he loves me"...

ACTORS know how to act to get what they want.

He lies. Does he not? Mates, yet they are girls.

He, has confirmed that he would cheat and more than likely has cheated.

He is disrespecting you, not ready to settle into one relationship.

Most guys that like to act, play, lie, will ALWAYS have a little woman at home as well. Because it's control, the want and desire to own someone, whilst doing what they want, sowing their wild oats.

Don't allow someone to blind you, disrespect you and use you... And, as you don't really know where he has been, make sure your safe, sexually and get tested... and then MOVE ON..

You deserve better that that.

CW

[Jex]

Thanks for the reply's, to be truthful I don't know why i stay
More than likely it's because there are more pro's than there are con's in this relationship, but i agree with what you both say and know this only to well, yet i still can't find myself letting go. The good times are excellent, the bad times are the worst.

Again, thanks for the reply's and advice

[WildChild]

What are the pros of being with a man who is emotionally manipulative, not committed and hurtful?

[Hopeless Dork]

It sounds like you are the only person committed to this relationship. He's in it with you, but he can take it or leave it... is will to risk it on a monthly basis with his lies and shennanigans. He either doesn't care if he loses you, or he realizes he has you wrapped around his finger and that you are not going anywhere.

Either way... you are not pathetic, but if you keep at the same direction with no changes being made you will become pathetic. You will fall deeper and deeper in love and he will continue to use that to manipulate into being there when he needs you to be, and then also doing whatever else he wants on the side.

Don't be like that baby? Puppy dog eyes? Does he realize how very cliche he is being? You say his pro's out number the cons and I don't doubt that they numerically do.. but if you measure the WEIGHT of those cons, I'm sure that side of the list will be heavier as I don't know how many good things a guy has to do to compensate for lying about being with girls, etc.

You don't have to break up with him, but I do reccomend backing up the intensity of the relationship (he's doing that already, you just need to do the same) he's your focus, he's his focus as well... so you are left in the cold. Its time to change that. If he doesn't respect your feelings... you owe to yourself to respect them.

Instead of trying to reel him in tighter (which isn't working anyway)... why not let him go.. and let yourself go a bit as well. Find your own interests and hobbies and friends outside of him... because it sounds like he is living single and you are living the life of a devoted gf. He doesn't deserve that until he gives that.

[AnneHathaway]

Beautifully said, CW.

Move on, Jex. He sounds like a cheater, user and manipulator. Cut your losses and find a man who willl respect you and not trivialize your feelings.

[Jex]

The silly thing is, I knew all of this but just needed a kick in the backside and to hear it from someone else

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