[Lex94]

Ok my situation might seem long so plz bear with me here's the problem. . .me and my ex best friend became friends towards the middle of my sophomore year[i will b a junior next school year comin (Class of 2012)]. . .but anyways we were like the average pair of best friends, we done everything together told each other everything and it seems like nothing could go wrong. But when second semester came we both had 2 classes 2getha and in both the classes that's where she met her current boyfriend now. After they got 2getha things seemed cool and all of a sudden he started being controlling like he always wanted her around him and they were always 2getha constantly in behind each other it just urked my nerves and it seemed like she was pushing me away and acting like i didn't exist anymore and didn't have time 4 me like she use 2. When we stopped talking the first time, we made up and she told me that she didn't want me to feel like that she was putting her boyfriend ova me, she said i luv u guys both but i have a different kind of luv 4 my boyfriend[and i completely understood that]. . .but after school ended i txt her during the week and she neva txt me back so when i txt her boyfriend to ask her something 4 me he said dis: "Give her some space ur smothering her. Leave her alone unless she texts u. she is tired of how obessesed with her. uve really ****ed her off so go away" and i txt bak and said well if thats how she really felt y didn't she tell me that herself instead of getting you 2 tell me off dats really [insert cuss word] up. . .and he said "well i mean she didn't tell you because she didnt wanna hurt your feelings but i was really getting aggravated by you". . .so to make a long story short here's what i think. . .she must have really felt like that cause she neva txt or called me 2 explain dis whole thing 2 me and i felt like her boyfriend did that 2 me cause he wanted her all 2 himself. . .[sorry this was long but can sum1 plz help a teenager out here cause i'm hurt and confused that my best friend would do that 2 me, but i'm ova it now cause i have plenty of otha friends 2 depend on!!]

[Hopeless Dork]

Its human nature, sweetie. And when you fall in love it will be the same for you, it will... no matter how differently you think you'd behave. Especially if this is one of her first loves... at your age that sort of thing is all-consuming. Though she does love and care for you... when someone falls hard for someone they sort of immerse themselves in their world and can, unfortunately lose track of the rest of the people in their lives as well as other important thing.

Its not uncommon for a young lady in love to start having her grades slip, to lose interest in hobbies she loved etc and to not be with her friends as much as she makes her whole world about this guy. That is not really healthy or good for her. She should have a balance between all of it but its not unusual for a girl to lose herself when she is in love.

You should really try hard to not take it personally as its what people do. Its the couple mentality that we instinctually gravitate to. When we are younger are friends matter more than anything else, but as we get older and start falling for guys... they seem to move higher on the important list than friends... no matter what we promise say or do.

When I was young and dating a guy my best friend was so upset and jealous. She had me all to herself for so long and did not like the prospect of sharing me... and even worse... the prospect of losing me. If my guy and her both wanted to see me on the same day... my guy won. And she'd be hurt. I expected her to support me and instead she just got angry and felt neglected and I understand all that now. Its important to have a life apart from the guy you are with... to not let everything else fall by the way side as chances are he's not doing that for her.

He's probably still seeing his buds and would go with them over her if he had to make the same choice. But when you are in "love" or think you are , sometimes the blinders are on and you just don't see that you are making your friend feel lonely and tossed aside.

When things with me and that guy didn't work out... who was the first person i called? yep, my best friend... and she could have hung up on me and said any number of things I deserved to hear. But she didn't. She said come over... and she gave me hugs and we ate junkfood all night while she told me I was too good for him anyway. Because thats what friends do.

I learned after that, to not totally diss out everyone and everything in favor of a guy... but its something everyone has to learn on their own. Don't take it personal, give her the space she needs and spend your time on other friends and interests for a while.

[Lex94]

I surely will do dat [don't take it personal, give her the space she needs and spend my time on other friends and interests for a while]. . .thanx so much i think i really understood wat was happening i just needed sum1 else 2 tell me frm there point of view but i have a feeling they mite b 2getha 4 a long time and if dey do break up i definitely will not b the first person she calls lolz