[Inlove907]

Another way to look at it... it could possibly just be shyness? Maybe not, but for me I used to have a hard time complimenting my boyfriend in person just because I'm simply shy. When we first started telling each other we loved each other, it was really hard for me to say it to his face. It wasn't that I didn't love him, but I'm just a shy person so saying something like that is just not easy for me. I would think in my head of something that I would want to tell my boyfriend (Like "I love you" or just anything affectionate) but I would not be able to force myself to say it out embarrasment. The way I solved it is I would just force myself to say it no matter how awkward I felt. 2 or 3 years later I can say whatever I'm thinking to my boyfriend without feeling shy... Just a possibility because since I was shy before it was hard for me to take compliments... I'd sort of look away awkwardly and just say "Thanks..." Now I just force myself to openly respond and the more I practiced with it, the less shy I have become.

[Seniora]

Compliments don't hold much social capital anymore because of the way personal greetings been appropriated by business, "Have a Nice Day" etc. etc. This is part of politeness rather than any serious interest in the person or persons. So, when we get compliments we tend to see these as forced or faux. This makes it difficult for the person who genuinely wants to express their feelings through a sincere compliment (not to be confused with a polite one). I think we are compliment-overloaded in our consumerist society and are well advised to be suspicious. Programs like "Trinny and Suzannah" where the 2 make-over ladies constantly compliment very, very average women just make me cringe. Also Oprah and her fake compliments and concern. There's a distinct Yuk factor at work here.

But, getting back to those whom we know well - be they family, friends of colleagues - they enjoy complimenting us and it is simple courtesy to respond with a "Thank you". I remember in my last week of teaching a male colleague, who was also a recent friend, said to me, "I'm sorry you're leaving; you're easily the most intelligent member of the staff". I was bowled over and walked on air back to my faculty. I simply said to him, "Well thank you Greg", and I put my hand on his arm and looked into his eyes. It was a day I won't forget.

[jns]

Compliments don't hold much social capital anymore because of the way personal greetings been appropriated by business, "Have a Nice Day" etc. etc.

We don't have to cede ground to businesses that appropriate everything from songs to sayings to common terms. Continue using what we grew up with or Mickey Mouse or Microsoft will say it is proprietary.