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  • Guest

    9yrs best friends & he still won't marry me!

    He has told me why so many times but i just don't get it he doesnt really give me an answer. I am a perfect wife so far even though we aren't married we have lived together for 9years. We are the best of friends and can't live without eachother so why why? I keep have always thought that it was me but am so confused. I always cook and bake for him, clean for him woo him when he needs it or whenever he desires me he can have me. I will always do him sexual favors. I stay out of his way i am very sweet to him. I don't cheat on him or flirt with other guys or ever disrespect him. I even cook for his friends i am a very good hostess.
    I dress nicely and workout a lot. His friends wanted me even wanted to marry me but why doesn't he want to marry me? i don't get it is theres something that i am doing wrong that i don't see?
  • commonsense
    Veteran Member
    • Mar 2007
    • 212

    he want marry

    Why in the heck would you stay with a man that long that won't marry you. I wouldn't be with a man more that 2 years that wouldn't marry me. He has gotten use to having his cake and eating it too. If you really want him to marry you. MOVE OUT. Only move back in if he marries you!!!!!!!
    Originally posted by Lulumoon
    He has told me why so many times but i just don't get it he doesnt really give me an answer. I am a perfect wife so far even though we aren't married we have lived together for 9years. We are the best of friends and can't live without eachother so why why? I keep have always thought that it was me but am so confused. I always cook and bake for him, clean for him woo him when he needs it or whenever he desires me he can have me. I will always do him sexual favors. I stay out of his way i am very sweet to him. I don't cheat on him or flirt with other guys or ever disrespect him. I even cook for his friends i am a very good hostess.
    I dress nicely and workout a lot. His friends wanted me even wanted to marry me but why doesn't he want to marry me? i don't get it is theres something that i am doing wrong that i don't see?

    Comment

    • jen0519
      Member
      • Mar 2007
      • 60

      Why wold you leave a man that you love? Marriage is a peice of paper. If you are happy in the relationship, what does it matter? I have been with my boyfreind for three years. We have a daughter and are planning for a boy. We live as husband and wife. I think that men just see marriage as a death sentence. If you are happy with the relationship, besides the marriage part, don't push him. I have heard of people having the best relationship for years, as soon as they get married, its over?? Why is that? It has to be the feeling of HAVING to be with someone. Not wanting to be with them. I never want my husband to feel like he has to be with me. Would you? If your relationship stands the test of time, you will get married someday. If it doesn't you will be better off not getting married. Just don't push him too much. Obviously he loves you. 9 years is a long time. I would just say appreciate what you do have and stop focusing on what isn't going to happen right now. You wouldn't want him to marry you without wanting it whole heartedly?? Its a scary thing to promise someone the rest of your life.

      Comment

      • kaylar


        Have you made it clear to him that you
        want to be married?

        If not, he may think that if he asks you
        he'll rock the boat...so he doesn't.

        Make it clear and see what happens.

        Comment

        • lauralight
          Member
          • Apr 2007
          • 54

          And here's the ugly truth.

          You have become codependent doormat. Please read up on codependency, and start taking care of you, and making sure you have all that you need every moment of every day, including your own friends, support network, church, and spend adequate time with them....your giving up all of your power...and he takes you completely for granted...and your making it worse for both of you the longer you continue playing doormat.

          Comment

          • WiriN
            Junior Member
            • Oct 2008
            • 2

            Originally posted by Lulumoon
            He has told me why so many times but i just don't get it he doesnt really give me an answer. I am a perfect wife so far even though we aren't married we have lived together for 9years. We are the best of friends and can't live without eachother so why why? I keep have always thought that it was me but am so confused. I always cook and bake for him, clean for him woo him when he needs it or whenever he desires me he can have me. I will always do him sexual favors. I stay out of his way i am very sweet to him. I don't cheat on him or flirt with other guys or ever disrespect him. I even cook for his friends i am a very good hostess.
            I dress nicely and workout a lot. His friends wanted me even wanted to marry me but why doesn't he want to marry me? i don't get it is theres something that i am doing wrong that i don't see?
            well......probably hes scared of marriage.... well i feel ur pain. if ur not happy with tis, just move out. forme, i want marriage. and he doesnt want. so we r both in the same shoes... HOPE U WILL FIND A SOLUTION SOON BE HAPPY!

            Comment

            • Guest

              do you want to be married, or do you want to have a marriage?

              2 very different things.

              Comment

              • shweedart
                Veteran Member
                • Feb 2008
                • 679

                You sound like you've got it good anyway so why do you want it to change? I understand its every girls dream to get married but it may ruin a good thing

                Comment

                • shweedart
                  Veteran Member
                  • Feb 2008
                  • 679

                  Watch the sex and the city movie

                  Comment

                  • sTyLeRock
                    Senior Member
                    • Aug 2008
                    • 103

                    hmm

                    this thread is over a year old..

                    Comment

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